Let's Fall Back In Love
by Charlotte88
Summary: When Nikki has to move out of her apartment, Harry invites her to move into his... But how long can they both keep pretending that there's nothing between them other than friendship? And what happens when things don't go quite to plan?
1. Dependin' On You

Chapter 1: Dependin' On You

Harry looked at his reflection in the mirror on his wardrobe door, and decided that the blue t-shirt would go better under his navy jumper than the white one. He quickly changed, then looked in the mirror once more. No, it was definitely the white one that looked best. He put it back on and then the jumper over the top of that. Now, jeans. Not black, that's for sure. Too much like his work clothes. Eventually he settled for his dark blue pair.

After taking another look in the mirror, Harry smiled at his reflection and left his bedroom. He walked into the kitchen and made himself a cup of tea. This date was making him nervous. It was only the first date, which was probably why. Harry liked to know the person first, know what makes them tick. But he'd never met – was it Sarah? – before. A mutual friend had introduced them the previous weekend. Harry had liked her; she was pretty, bubbly and obviously intelligent. However, he did feel like he'd been forced slightly into this date by the aforementioned friend. But what harm could it do him? Who knows, he might get lucky.

Harry laughed at himself and realised how much cooler that would have sounded ten years ago when he was in his twenties. Now it just made him sound desperate. The doorbell rang, pulling Harry out of his pit of self-loathing. Pouring the luke-warm contents of his mug down the sink, he walked down the hall and towards the front door of his apartment.

Nikki was stood in the corridor outside, a bottle of wine in one hand and a DVD in the other. She smiled at him, but Harry knew her well enough to know that it was forced.

"What are you doing here?" he asked her, stepping back to let her in.

"It's nice to see you too," Nikki tutted. "I just thought we could watch a DVD. You're not busy, are you?"

Hmm, there was a question. What was Harry going to say? Nikki was obviously upset about something, and as his position as best friend he should say no and stay in with her. But then there was the matter of standing someone up, and if Nikki realised what he'd done she'd think that Harry was pitying her. Plus, he'd been quite looking forward to that date really. Eventually he said, "No, I'm not busy."

Nikki smiled at him again and walked straight into his lounge. With a small sigh he shut the door and followed Nikki.

"I'll get us some glasses, shall I?" he asked rhetorically, going into his kitchen. Once there he pulled out his phone and sent a quick text to Sarah saying he was sorry but he wouldn't be able to make their dinner reservation. Not entirely surprisingly he didn't get one back.

When Harry emerged into the lounge again, Nikki was bent over by his television, no doubt putting the DVD on. Oh, how he hoped that it wasn't a chick-flick. He cleared his throat to make his presence known and Nikki straightened up. That was when he saw the case in her hand.

"Top Gun?" he asked, surprised. Nikki saw what he was looking at and smiled.

"Well, I thought seeing as I was probably ruining your evening, the least I could do is bring a film that you like as well," she told him.

"You're not ruining my evening," Harry replied, sitting down and uncorking the wine bottle. Nikki sat next to him on the sofa, kicking off her shoes and pulling her legs up underneath her. She released a long sigh, but Harry decided that if she wanted to tell him what was going on then she would do it in her own time. The film started to play, but Harry couldn't concentrate on it properly. He would have been at the restaurant about now, probably kissing Sarah on the cheek and telling her how lovely she looked. But there was nothing he could do about that now. He wasn't there at the restaurant, was he? He was here with Nikki. Mind you, he was pretty intoxicated when he had first met Sarah. Perhaps he was imagining her to be better looking than she actually was. Maybe she hadn't been that clever either. In fact, thinking about it now, Harry had had to explain to her what the term 'pathologist' actually meant. He realised that his evening could be much worse than spending it with Nikki. Feeling decidedly better, Harry settled back into the sofa and quickly became absorbed in the film.

About three quarters of the way through, a small snuffly sound distracted Harry from the TV screen. He frowned and looked around, and then he realised it was coming from Nikki. She was silently crying, tears were trickling down her cheeks, which she was hastily wiping away with her sleeve. Harry sat a bit closer to her and said, "Hey, it's okay, he gets the girl in the end." Then he realised that she was actually properly upset, and he paused the DVD.

"Nikki? What is it?" he asked softly, tugging a tissue from the box on the coffee table and passing it to her.

"Oh nothing, I'm fine," she sniffed, gratefully accepting the tissue from him.

"Well you're obviously not," Harry persisted. "And you know that I'm not going to let you leave this apartment until you tell me why."

Nikki shook her head and leant forward, placing her elbows on her knees. "Well I probably shouldn't tell you then, because at least I'd have a roof over my head."

"What are you talking about?" Harry frowned.

"My landlord called earlier today. He wants me out of my apartment in two weeks. Something about selling it instead of letting it."

"Can he do that?" Harry asked. "Surely you're entitled to more notice?"

"Evidently not," she muttered miserably. "So now I have to find another apartment that's close to the lab, but not too far from everything else, in the middle of a credit crunch. Plus we have to live in the most expensive city in the entire world, so trying to get a decent flat in the centre of London that's actually in my price range could be a bit difficult."

Nikki had become a bit hysterical, so Harry decided to let her clear lack of economical knowledge about London slide for now.

"And that's what's making you so upset?" he asked gently.

"It's not just that," she sighed. "I was... You know what, I'm being stupid, it doesn't matter."

"Nikki, don't clam up on me. You know I'll get it out of you eventually anyway."

She gave him a reluctant smile and said, "Fine. I've been seeing this guy – Paul – only to find out tonight that he's actually seeing someone else at the same time."

This piece of information momentarily stunned Harry. He had no idea that Nikki had been seeing someone, let alone that it had been quite serious. And now, as usual in Nikki's case, that guy had let her down and she had come to the only man in her life who she could depend on: Harry.

"Can I ask how you found out about this other woman?"

"I phoned him this afternoon and she answered, all giggly and stupid, and I could hear Paul in the background telling her to forget the phone so that they could pick up where they left off," Nikki explained.

"Oh Nikki," Harry sighed, shuffling sideways and putting his arm around her. She let her head flop onto his shoulder.

"Why don't I have any luck with men?" she muttered.

"You do attract some stinkers," Harry said, causing Nikki to chuckle.

"I should make a vow of celibacy."

Harry snorted. "I wonder how long that will last."

Nikki sat up and raised her eyebrows at him. "You don't think I can do it?" she asked indignantly.

"No, I don't," Harry said honestly. Nikki flopped back against the sofa and sighed.

"You're right, it would never last."

Harry laughed and leant back next to her. "You'll find someone one day. Someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with," he told her seriously. Nikki turned her head ninety degrees and smiled at him.

"Thank you Harry," she said softly. Harry laced his fingers through hers.

"You're welcome."

"You know, if that someone could come with a killer apartment, that would be really handy," she said. Harry laughed again and pulled Nikki into him, putting his arm around her shoulders as he pressed play on the remote.

*

Harry could tell that Nikki's mood hadn't improved by the next morning when she marched into the lab thirty minutes late, slammed her takeaway coffee cup onto her desk, and practically tore off her scarf. Harry looked up from his computer and shared a glance with Leo, who had just left his office to see what all the commotion was about.

"Are you okay, Nikki?" their boss asked.

"She has apartment troubles," Harry said casually.

"Why, what's happened to her apartment?" Leo asked Harry.

"Hello! I am stood right here!" Nikki exclaimed and Harry stifled a grin. Leo went back into his office and Nikki sunk down into her chair and put her head in her hands.

"So why are you so late?" Harry probed.

"I've spent most of the morning on the phone to a million different estate agents. It's useless, Harry. I'm never going to find somewhere," she said wearily.

"You could always move in with me," Harry suggested, surprising himself just as much as Nikki, who's head snapped up. He had no idea where that had come from. The idea had briefly crossed his mind the previous evening, but he'd dismissed it as stupid. What had made him blurt it out like that then he didn't know. He supposed it was just that he couldn't stand seeing Nikki so defeated and down.

"What?" she asked him, her eyes wide in shock.

"Well, it makes sense. I have a spare room going in a very nice apartment, which is in the ideal location for you. I wouldn't charge you anywhere near as much rent as someone else would for an apartment the same size. And you'd be my room mate, which would be really fun. Plus, I could do with a hand towards the bills."

Nikki just stared at him for a moment, and it was a while before she actually said something.

"Harry... I can't. I mean, thank you so much for the offer, it's really sweet of you, but... it would be strange."

"Why would it be strange?" he asked.

"I don't know... it just – it just would be. We work together, don't you think twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week would be too much? Plus, it's me and you. It would be a little weird."

Harry pulled a face. "Hmm... it would be a little weird. But on the other hand I would be able to tease you endlessly."

"Which is exactly why I _don't_ want to live with you," Nikki grinned.

"Okay," Harry said, slightly disappointed. "But if you change your mind, you know where I am."

Nikki smiled at him before reaching down to her bag and pulling out a newspaper and opening it up. Harry frowned at her.

"First you walk in half an hour late, and then you sit and read the paper. Are you planning on getting any work done today?"

"I'm flat hunting," she said, chewing on the end of her pen. "Shouldn't _you_ be working instead of pestering me?"

"Now where's the fun in that?" Harry grinned, causing Nikki to roll her eyes at him. However, he knew that there was a body just waiting to be cut open down in the morgue, so after flashing Nikki his trademark smile, he left her to flat hunt without him 'pestering' her.

* * *

**Okay, first chapter, what do you think? I honestly think I could have written it better, to be honest, but I wanted to get started seeing as I had so many lovely reviews for 'The Accident'. Anyway, I hope this is satisfactory! The title doesn't quite fit in with my normal way either, but I've decided to be a bit different this time!  
****Oh, another thing, the chapter titles (and main title) are all going to be song titles. I did get the idea from Grey's Anatomy (who do it also) but obviously mine will be different!  
****Review for me?  
xxxx**


	2. Fair and Square

**Chapter 2:** Fair and Square

The next morning and Nikki arrived at work in pretty much the same mood as she had the day before. This time Leo stayed safely in his office, so it was down to Harry to bear the brunt of her frustration. However, it wasn't until she released a long, despairing sigh for the third time that he finally decided to engage in conversation with her.

"What's wrong now?" he asked her amusedly.

"I know," she said simply.

Harry frowned in confusion. "Err... you know what?"

"I know that you lied," Nikki said, still not exactly helping Harry to understand what she was talking about.

"You're going to have to help me out here, Nikki. I have no idea what you're on about," he told her with a puzzled smile. Nikki groaned in impatience.

"You! Yesterday evening when I turned up on your doorstep!" she exclaimed. Harry was now beginning to have an inkling as to what this was about, but he decided that feigning ignorance was probably his best bet for now, so he shook his head and raised her eyebrows. Nikki rolled her eyes and added, "You _were_ on your way out, weren't you?"

"Err..." Harry bit his lip, bracing himself for the explosion. However, it never came.

"Don't bother denying it, you know I can see right through you," she told him quietly. "Why didn't you tell me that you were going on a date?"

Harry decided not to answer this, but tried a different tactic. "How do you know I was going on a date?"

"Your whole demeanour gave it away when you opened the door. Plus, you had your really nice aftershave on that I bought you for Christmas last year, and your 'pulling' jumper."

Harry snorted. "_Pulling_ jumper?" he repeated.

"Yes, it's the one you always wear when you're trying to get lucky. You wore it last week when we were working with DI Marlowe," Nikki said with a reluctant smile.

"I did not!" Harry exclaimed indignantly. However, this may have been a slight lie. Suzie Marlowe had been an extremely attractive police officer. But so what if he wore his favourite jumper? That didn't mean anything. Besides, he'd soon found out that she was already in a relationship, which put an end to that idea.

Harry realised that he hadn't said anything for a while, and when he looked up it was too see Nikki grinning at him smugly.

"Oh shut up," he told her, feeling his cheeks redden slightly.

Nikki just laughed, but then sobered up pretty quickly and said, "So why didn't you tell me?"

Harry sighed. He'd hoped that she'd forgotten about her initial motives. "I don't know," he admitted. "I knew you were upset about something. I thought you needed me than the woman I was supposed to be meeting."

"But Harry, I wouldn't have minded if you'd gone out. I've probably ruined your chances with her now," she said sadly.

Harry waved his hand and said, "It doesn't matter. I wasn't looking forward to it that much."

Nikki gave him a small smile and the pair of them lapsed into a comfortable silence. After a few minutes Nikki suddenly said, "Who was she anyway?"

"I think her name was Sarah. My mate introduced us a couple of weeks ago," Harry shrugged.

"The fact that you're uncertain of her name makes me feel considerably better," she grinned. "But thank you."

"What for?"

"For staying in with me," Nikki said softly. Harry gave her a gentle smile.

"Nikki, you know I'll always stay in with you. Well, I will as long as you bring the wine," he replied, causing Nikki to tut and throw her pen at him.

*

The next week passed pretty uneventfully for Harry. It was a Friday afternoon and the lab was silent with boredom and lack of activity. Harry was sat at his desk, resting his chin on his folded arms and staring at the phone. Nikki was sat across from him, clicking her pen absent-mindedly whilst closely examining her finger nails. He released a long breath.

"I'm bored," he stated.

Nikki didn't even bother replying, but just made a small noise of agreement before they lapsed into silence once again.

"Why aren't there any cases?" she asked after a few more minutes.

"Because nobody is considerate enough to _die_ any more," Harry groaned and Nikki grinned. "I'm hoping if I watch the phone for long enough then it will miraculously ring and save us from this hellish pit of boredom."

"A watched pot never boils," she reminded him. "Why doesn't Leo just let us go home early? We could go and find a pub."

"God, I could do with a drink right now," he sighed wistfully, not bothering to even lift his head from his arms when he replied.

"Which brings me back to my original question: why can't Leo let us go early?" Nikki whined.

"Because he's too mean and tight," Harry grumbled.

"What was that, Harry?"

Harry's head snapped up and he saw Leo stood a few meters behind Nikki, observing them with his arms folded across his chest, eyebrows raised. Nikki also spun around in her chair, her cheeks reddening.

"We're bored, Leo," Harry moaned. "We haven't had a day this quiet for months."

"Well, it's a good job I've got a crime scene for one of you then," Leo grinned, walking nearer to them and wafting a post-it note in the air.

"I'll take it!" both Harry and Nikki cried simultaneously. Leo laughed and looked between them thoughtfully. Harry sat up straight in his chair, with the air of a student eager to please a teacher. Nikki was doing the same.

"Nikki," Leo said eventually, passing her the piece of paper.

"_What_?" Harry exclaimed. "That's so unfair!"

Nikki grinned at him smugly as she shrugged on her coat.

"Stop moaning, Harry. You can scrub up and help Nikki when she gets back," Leo scolded, before retreating back into his office. Harry didn't say anything, but frowned moodily.

"Aww, stop pouting Harry," Nikki smiled, chucking him under the chin playfully. Harry pushed her hand away.

"Don't expect me to help you when you get back," he muttered mutinously but Nikki just laughed.

"Fine, you can just sit there and brood about how unfair your life is. But if you change your mind then I'll probably be back in a couple of hours," she smiled, before walking off. Harry released yet another long groan, and flopped his head back on his arms.

*

Harry knew Nikki was back. He'd heard someone walk past him. Despite his refusal to look at her when she had done so, Harry recognised the way in which she walked. He didn't know how, it was just one of those things. However, after half an hour he realised that he may well be overreacting slightly. It wasn't Nikki's fault, it was Leo's, and why should he miss out on what could – quite possibly – be an interesting case? Mind you, an OAP dying of natural causes would be more interesting that what Harry was doing at the moment. Which was nothing.

With a sigh Harry forced himself out of his chair and made his way slowly down to the cutting room. It took him a few minutes to get changed and scrub in, but eventually he was stood outside the large glass doors. However, when he walked into the room with a apologetic smile on his face and saw Nikki look at him with her eyes shining, his grin vanished.

"What's wrong?" he asked her, making his way over.

"Nothing." She shook her head. "It's just... this case."

Harry reached the slab and looked down at the body on it. It was a young woman, she couldn't have been more than thirty. Numerous cuts and abrasions littered her body, and the left-side of her face was grazed beyond recognition. Bone was jutting out of her left knee, and her ankle was at an impossible angle.

"What happened?" Harry asked.

Nikki released a long breath. "This is Jasmine Smart. She was waiting at the bus stop when a car ploughed into her. The driver ran off and left her. The police think he'd stolen the car and just lost control on the corner."

"Poor woman," Harry stated. It was always horrible to see people like this who ended up on the slab through no fault of their own.

"She's got two young children, Harry. Now they have to grow up without a mother."

Harry realised that there seemed to be an underlying issue somewhere that was upsetting Nikki. Cases didn't normally affect her like this.

"Are you okay?" he asked her slowly.

Nikki nodded, then shook her head, and said, "I don't know."

"Well that clears that up, thanks," Harry said, his voice laced with sarcasm.

"It's just... it's not fair."

"I know," he replied, his voice softer this time. He gave Nikki's shoulder a squeeze and this seemed to snap her out of whatever train of thought she was immersed in.

"Right, well I'd better get on with it then," she said, in an overly-loud, falsely cheery way. Harry frowned at her, but didn't dig any deeper into exactly what was troubling her. He suspected that her upset might have stemmed from the fact that her own mother had died when she was only young.

*

Harry had ended up just as involved as Nikki with the Jasmine Smart case. They had both decided that the least she deserves is to have their best attention given to her, so it wasn't until nearly eleven that night that Harry had finally managed to convince Nikki that the rest could wait until morning.

The pair of them were gathering their things from their desks, both completely shattered.

"So, how's the flat-hunting coming along?" Harry asked Nikki as they switched the lights off and prepared to leave the lab.

Nikki was silent for a moment, but then she said slowly, "Actually... I think I've found somewhere."

"Oh really? Where's that then?"

"Well... I have this amazing friend who offered me his spare room... and although I turned him down at first – I'm now inclined to take him up on his offer. That is, if he'll still have me?"

Harry realised what Nikki was doing and grinned. "I'll have to meet this 'friend'," he joked. "He sounds like a very kind and generous guy."

"He has his moments," Nikki smiled, playing along. "So...?"

"Yes, you can move in," Harry told her, causing Nikki to squeal happily and fling her arms around his neck.

"Thank you so much, Harry!"

Harry patted her on the back and couldn't help but grin broadly. "That's all right. I could hardly turn away a friend in need now, could I?"

"I honestly thought I was going to be homeless," she said. "I mean, in the past week I must have looked at every single flat in a five-mile radius."

"Oh, so I'm a last resort am I? I see how it is." Harry stormed off in mock indignation, but Nikki caught up with him just as they entered into the car park. Her arm slipped through his.

"Well, yes, you were originally," she confessed. "But I must admit that I have warmed to the idea since then."

"Ah, what was it?" Harry grinned. "My great sense of humour? Fantastic personality? Amazing cooking abilities?"

Nikki snorted at this last one, but said, "No, none of those. You just have a really nice apartment."

Harry glared at her playfully as she giggled.

* * *

**Bit of a boring chapter, but I wanted to update. It's half term now (yay!) so I can hopefully spend more time on this and give you more frequent updates.  
****Anyway, let me know what you think. It will get more interesting, this story, I promise! **


	3. Something To Talk About

**Chapter 3:** Something to Talk About

"So, what _did_ make you change your mind?" Harry asked Nikki. It was two days after Nikki had agreed to live with him, and the pair of them were in the layout room examining all the evidence from the Jasmine Smart case. Nikki looked up at him from the report she was mulling over.

"Change my mind about what?"

"Moving into my apartment."

"Oh. Umm... it's not important." She blushed and Harry frowned at her.

"Come on, what is it?" he pressed.

"Nothing really. It's just..." Nikki gazed into the contents of her mug as she replied. "I thought it would be nice sometimes – when I've had a tough day at work or something – to go home and have someone familiar there to talk to. It's horrible going home to an empty flat after a long day."

"I haven't thought about it like that," said Harry, contemplating the idea. "But you're right. It can be lonely sometimes."

"Exactly." Nikki smiled at him. "You do realise that you'll be helping me move though, don't you?"

"Oh, have you found somewhere to live?"

Harry hadn't heard Leo approach, but he was stood watching them with a smile on his face. Nikki glanced at Harry before saying slowly, "Err... yeah. With Harry."

"With _Harry_?" Leo repeated. "As in, live with him?"

"Yes, as in live with him," Nikki smiled. Leo looked between them, completely surprised.

"But... I didn't know you were..."

"In his _spare room _Leo!" Nikki interrupted suddenly, and now Harry fully understood why Leo was so shocked. He laughed at the whole misunderstanding and the expression of dawning comprehension that spread over Leo's face.

"Ohh," he grinned. "I thought you meant you were moving in together, like as a couple."

"Definitely not," both Harry and Nikki said in unison.

Leo raised his eyebrows at them and Nikki said, "It just seemed like the most practical and suitable solution."

"No, it's a good idea, I agree," Leo nodded. "I just... it's hilarious." He started to laugh, and Harry threw Nikki a confused look.

"What's hilarious?" Harry asked, frowning at his boss. Leo looked about to say something, but he shook his head instead.

"It doesn't matter," he told them. "Forget I said anything."

Then he walked back into his office, still chuckling to himself. Nikki raised her eyebrows at Harry.

"What's happened to Leo?" she asked him quietly.

"Perhaps he's having a midlife crisis," Harry muttered, causing Nikki to snort with laughter.

*

The following Friday afternoon and Nikki was all moved in. Well, her stuff was. She was still at her house sorting out a few bits while Harry had been assigned the task of driving all her heavy boxes back and lugging them up to his apartment. He stood in his lounge and surveyed the scene, wiping his brow with the back of his hand.

There were cardboard boxes scattered in random places, each one clearly labelled and well sealed with brown parcel tape. Already he could smell her perfume gradually seeping its way into every corner of his apartment. Not that Harry really minded. It had become such a familiar smell to him over the last few years that he almost found it comforting.

Harry wandered down to what was his spare room. The double bed had been stripped of all sheets and covers and he'd emptied out the wardrobe ready for Nikki to invade it with all her possessions. There were boxes in here too, stacked up in the corner. Harry sighed, wondering just what he'd let himself in for. Part of him was nervous, for some strange reason, and he couldn't help but keep hearing the words that Nikki had said to him originally, _"...it's me and you. It would be a little weird." _

He shook his head to rid himself of these thoughts and decided to move some more of the boxes from the hall into Nikki's room. He'd already almost tripped over them twice. Entering the hall again he stopped in front of three and tentatively lifted each one. When he was satisfied he'd found the lightest he bent down and picked it up. However, just as he'd entered the room again, the bottom of the box gave way and the contents spilled to the floor. Harry groaned and threw the box onto the bed. Then he noticed what was in it. The reason that that particular box had been so light was because it contained nothing other than underwear.

Harry felt a hot flush rise up his neck and he looked pointedly at the wall. But then he realised that if Nikki came home and found her underwear on the floor, she wouldn't be very happy, so he got down on his knees and gingerly picked up something pink and lacy. A thong. Perfect. Harry pulled a face. It was just a scrap of material, hardly very modest for a woman like Nikki. Plus, it would not be very useful when winter came around.

"What on earth has she got this thing for?" he muttered to himself.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

Harry spun round to see Nikki stood in the doorway, watching him with an amused expression on her face. He stood up quickly.

"Having fun?" she asked him, eyeing the pile on the floor behind him and obviously stifling a grin. Harry could feel his cheeks burning.

"I err... I was just – it broke and I..." he stuttered, getting more and more flustered. Then he realised what was still in his hand. He reached out his arm and Nikki tugged the piece of material from his grip before throwing it onto the bed. She folded her arms across her chest and raised her eyebrows at him.

"Okay, I realise how this looks, and I promise I'm not being pervy or anything," he said quickly. "I was just carrying the box into here and the bottom broke. Look!" He grabbed the box from the bed and thrust it into Nikki's face. She tutted and pushed it away.

"I believe you, thousands wouldn't," she grinned, apparently taking pleasure in the fact that he was so mortified.

"Sorry," he added, rather pathetically.

"Harry, it's okay," she told him with a warm smile. "I really don't mind. Just... stop staring at them."

Harry hadn't even realised that his gaze was directed to the pile of underwear on the floor, and he hastily snapped his eyes back to Nikki's face. A giggle escaped her lips and she grabbed Harry's wrist, dragging him from the room.

"I left a suitcase or two outside in the corridor. Why don't you go and bring them in before one of the neighbours trips over and hates me before I've even moved in properly?" she said slowly, like she was speaking to someone of inferior intelligence. However, the smile on her face betrayed her.

"I think I should do that," Harry muttered.

"I think you should too," Nikki grinned. He nodded and left her standing in the lounge as he went into the corridor outside and spotted two, very heavy looking, pink suitcases. Leaning against the wall he blew out a long breath, shutting his eyes. That was so embarrassing, he had just wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. Nikki must think he was such an idiot, if she didn't already. Hang on – Harry's eyes snapped open – why did he care so much what she thought about him? They had been friends for five years, she wasn't suddenly going to hate him because he had seen a pair or two of her knickers. And besides, she had been pretty amused about it all.

Harry straightened up and sighed before he took the handle of the both the suitcases and wheeled them into his apartment.

"Bloody hell," he exclaimed when he realised how heavy they were. "What do you have in here?"

"Just all of my clothes. They'd better all fit in that wardrobe."

Harry just tutted, the effort at trying to haul the cases into the bedroom without scratching his wooden floor too much to be able to think of a witty remark.

*

A few hours later and Harry's apartment was free of boxes. He could actually walk around again without the fear of stubbing his toe. Deciding that the lounge – which Nikki had told Harry to tidy – was sufficiently so, he realised just how hungry he was. A takeaway seemed like the most suitable option right now, because it meant that all he'd have to do is get up and answer the door. However, it wasn't just him any more, Nikki was here now.

Harry walked down the hall and stopped outside her bedroom. He leant against the door frame, unbeknownst to Nikki, and watched her as she struggled to cram her clothes into the wardrobe, cursing quietly to herself.

Eventually, however, she must have felt his eyes on her, because she glanced over her shoulder. A reluctant smile spread across her lips.

"I can't fit them all in."

"So I see," Harry grinned.

"You're going to have to get a bigger wardrobe," she told him. Harry walked into the room a bit more.

"Err, no. _You're_ going to have to get a bigger wardrobe. This is your room now, not mine. This is _our_ apartment."

Nikki sighed. "Fine, _I'll_ get a new wardrobe."

Harry chuckled. "Good, now we've got that sorted, I was going to ask you if you wanted a takeaway? Celebrate your first night here and all that."

"You mean you can't be bothered to cook," she laughed. "Just because I've moved into your apartment, it doesn't mean that I can't still see right through you, Harry."

"Okay, so what am I thinking right now?" he joked. Nikki considered him for a moment in mock thoughtfulness.

"You're thinking: I hope she chooses Chinese, but I know she prefers Indian and she'll say that just to annoy me," Nikki grinned.

Harry had actually been thinking something along those lines a couple of minutes previously. He smiled and shook his head at Nikki.

"I'll get the Indian menu then," he conceded, causing Nikki to laugh. "Are you having what you always have?"

"Of course. Why break the routine?"

"You're so boring," Harry laughed, but he left the room and walked into his kitchen, tugging the menu off the front of the fridge.

An hour later and Harry and Nikki were sat watching the television, having just finished their food. Harry was pleasantly full and content, although it was strange to think that Nikki wouldn't be going home in an hour or so, but going into his spare room instead, and would be for the foreseeable future.

"It feels so surreal, knowing that this is my home now," Nikki said suddenly. Harry gaped at her.

"I was just thinking that!"

"Oh, I am on a _roll_," she laughed. "Maybe I could become a part-time pathologist, part-time psychic."

Now it was Harry's turn to laugh.

"Talking of work, do you have to go in tomorrow?" Nikki asked him.

"Yes. Do you?"

"No, I've got the day off. I asked Leo if I could so that I can make sure everything's sorted here. I still have stuff to unpack you know," she told him, picking up one of Harry's aviator magazines and flicking through it absent-mindedly.

"Did you bring sheets and pillows and stuff with you, or do you need some? Because I have spare," Harry asked her.

"No, I have all that, thank you. I've already made my bed."

"Well then you can lie in it," Harry joked, and Nikki threw him a withering look.

"You know, you're really not as funny as you think you are," she told him, but the smile playing on her lips told Harry that she was winding him up.

"Oh, you know I am," he grinned, forcing himself up to clean away their takeaway remnants.

"Right, I'm going to bed," Nikki told him, also getting up. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay, good night."

Nikki smiled at him and left the room. Harry watched her retreating back until he saw her enter her bedroom. A smile spread across his face. He was already enjoying having Nikki around, and she'd only been there one afternoon. However, his smile vanished when he realised that from now on he was going to spend his entire life actually waiting to use his own bathroom.

* * *

**Another chapter for you all! Two in as many days, blimey. It's because it's half-term you see, I love it. :D  
Anyway, the next chapter should be a bit funnier. I have an idea, I just need to work out how to write it down without it sounding stupid. Hmm...  
Thank you for all the lovely reviews I've been getting for this story, by the way. They actually do seem to make me write quicker!  
So yeah, review again for me?**


	4. Laugh So You Don't Cry

**Chapter 4:** Laugh So You Don't Cry

The first time that Harry realised just how much his life was going to change now that Nikki was living with him was the next morning. He was in the bathroom, showering before work, when the door suddenly opened and Nikki waltzed straight in. Harry pressed himself back against the wall, cursing himself for not locking the door. But Nikki hadn't even been showing signs of life when he'd got up.

"Nikki!" he exclaimed. "I'm in the shower!"

"Yes, I'm aware of that," she said, and Harry could see her blurry outline through the frosted glass. She had her back to him by the sink.

"You can't just come in here while I'm in the shower! Naked!" he cried.

"Oh relax, Harry. We cut up naked people every day."

"That is beside the point!"

"I can't even see anything, the glass is all steamed up," Nikki giggled. Harry grabbed a bottle of shampoo in a weak attempt to make himself more decent.

"Nikki, please," he pleaded. "Get out of the bathroom!"

"I only want to brush my teeth, I won't be a minute," she told him, and he could hear the amusement in her voice. It was like the previous evening's mishap with her box of underwear all over again. Little did he know it was about to get even worse.

When Nikki turned on the tap to brush her teeth, the water that was raining down over Harry suddenly turned ice cold. A string of obscenities escaped his lips as he flung himself out of the shower and grabbed a towel, hastily wrapping it around his waist before Nikki could see anything that he didn't particularly want her to see. She was stood there in her pyjamas, giggling at him with her toothbrush in her mouth. Harry glared at her. Once she'd spat out the foam and rinsed, she looked at Harry and said, "I need the towel."

"_You_ need the towel?" he repeated disbelievingly from his position by the doorway as Nikki struggled with an obvious desire to laugh.

"It doesn't matter," she said, wiping her mouth with a piece of toilet roll instead. When she turned around to face him again, the look on his face was evidently too much for her and she broke into peals of giggles.

"It's not funny!" Harry cried angrily. "You can't just come in here while I'm in the shower!"

"I'm sorry," she said, although she didn't look it. "I didn't realise it was such a big deal. It's not like we're strangers, and I couldn't see anything through the frosted glass. Leo sees you in the shower all the time."

Harry grimaced and shook his head, trying to rid himself of the unpleasant metal image Nikki's comment had put there. "Leo has _never_ seen me in the shower!" he protested. "He has seen me _out_ of the shower, when I have a towel around me, but never _in_ the shower! Besides, that's different, we're both men."

Nikki just laughed. "Okay. I'm sorry if I embarrassed you," she smiled. "I promise I'll never use the bathroom while you're in the shower again."

"Good," Harry said firmly. There was a minute's silence and Harry noticed Nikki's eyes travel down from his face and linger on his bare chest, still damp from the shower. This time it was his turn to smile and Nikki's turn to go red. She cleared her throat and said, "Right... well, I'll – I'll leave you to it then."

"That would be good," he grinned. Nikki's arm brushed against his stomach as she edged past him and out of the bathroom, snapping the door shut behind her. Harry blew out a long breath. Maybe he should get back in the shower and make it a cold one.

*

Half an hour later and Harry was fully dressed and decent again. He emerged into the lounge to see Nikki in the kitchen. She smiled at him apologetically.

"I've made breakfast," she stated. "To apologise about earlier."

Harry walked over to where she was buttering some toast.

"You didn't have to."

"I know. I wanted to."

Harry smiled at her and sat at his breakfast bar. Shortly afterwards Nikki arrived with a plate of eggs, bacon and toast, which she placed in front of him.

"I think we need some rules," Harry told her.

"You could be right," Nikki grinned.

"Okay. Bathroom. Whoever has to go to work earliest gets it first. If we both have to go to work, then... What time do you get up?"

"Well." Nikki looked thoughtful. "Usually my alarm goes off at six, but I don't get up until ten past."

"I get out of bed at six, so it makes sense if I use the bathroom first then."

"Okay. How about the food shop? Who's going to do that?" Nikki asked him.

"We'll do it together, otherwise we'll only end up arguing about the food that each of us has bought. We get most Sundays off, depending on our work loads, so we can do it then," he replied.

"Good. So that only really leaves one more rule," she said slowly.

"It does," Harry agreed, knowing what she was going to say.

"So... what happens when one of us wants to bring a... friend, home?"

"If I'm going to bring a woman home, I'll text you on my way and let you know. Then you can retreat safely to your bedroom and everyone's happy. Or vice versa if you want to bring one of your unsuitable men here," he said, feeling a curious sensation in his stomach as he realised that that last bit was more than likely to happen.

"That sounds like a plan," Nikki smiled.

"It certainly does," he replied, deciding to ignore the strange feeling. He had a suspicion as to what it could be, and it was something that he just couldn't deal with.

*

When Harry got home from work later that night, Nikki was no where to be seen. It was clear that she wasn't at home, yet the kitchen lights were on and it looked like she was in the middle of cooking dinner. Something was simmering on the hob, and Harry could see his casserole dish on the side with some layers of pasta in it.

Suddenly the front door opened and a minute later Nikki entered the kitchen, grinning and laughing to herself. She stopped when she saw Harry, but gave him a beaming smile.

"Oh good, you're home."

Harry frowned and looked around the kitchen once again. "I didn't know you cooked," he stated.

"There are many things you don't know about me," she giggled, pushing past him to the hob, where she stirred whatever was in the pan. "I'm making lasagne."

"Blimey," Harry said. "Where have you been, anyway? You can't just leave all this unattended. You're lucky I arrived home when I did, or you could have burnt the place down."

"Oh stop moaning. I was next door borrowing some dried herbs. You're useless, you didn't have any," she told him with another giggle.

"Next door?" Harry frowned. "Which next door?"

"A lovely Mrs Parsons. She's great, why didn't you tell me that you had such fantastic neighbours?"

Harry snorted, but then he realised that Nikki was being serious. "You have to be kidding?" he exclaimed. "Mrs Parsons? The eighty-year-old miserable widow? Nikki! That old bat bangs on the wall with her walking stick when I have the TV on and moans that it's too loud! She once had to take a parcel for me because I wasn't in and she didn't decide to give it back for nearly three days! And when she did she moaned about it!"

"Don't be horrible," Nikki scolded. "I found her highly entertaining. She certainly has some stories to tell about all the girls you bring back here." She laughed as some of the offending herbs were sprinkled into the saucepan.

"See! She's a gossip. Just... please don't get too friendly with her," Harry pleaded.

"Hmm... she didn't seem to like you very much, now you mention it. But _I_ like her, and she's my neighbour now too," Nikki smiled. Harry frowned at her as she poured the tomato sauce she had just created onto the bottom layer of pasta.

"Are you drunk?" he asked her abruptly.

Nikki giggled. "No! What would give you that idea?"

"Oh, I don't know," he replied sarcastically. "The open bottle of wine on the worktop up there, and the half empty glass in your hand... Both kind of give it away slightly."

Nikki looked down at the glass and raised her eyebrows as if she'd only just noticed it. "I'm not drunk," she laughed. "I've only had a glass or two."

"Or three," Harry added.

"Look, I am here cooking for you, like a dutiful wife or something! The least you could do is stop insulting me and lay the table," she told him.

"A dutiful wife?" Harry repeated with a laugh, but he moved over to the cutlery drawer.

"Yes! I cook, and I clean-"

"Clean?" he interrupted with a snort.

"I'll have you know I cleaned the bathroom today. And hoovered my room because it was so dusty."

Harry smiled to himself as he set about laying the table.

Half an hour later and Nikki had just placed a bottle of red wine and a dish of lasagne on the table, which she then began to serve onto plates.

"Wow Nikki, this looks great!" Harry complimented as she placed a plate in front of him.

"Why thank you," she grinned, pouring some wine into his glass. "It's a one-off though. I won't be doing this every night."

They ate happily, except Harry couldn't help but notice that Nikki seemed to be consuming an awful lot of the wine, and was getting steadily drunker by the glass.

"Are you okay?" he asked her once they'd finished eating.

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. It's just... you've managed to get through an entire bottle of wine. Not to mention what you drank while you were cooking."

"I have not drunk all the wine! You've had some as well!" she exclaimed, her words slurred slightly.

"I haven't finished my first glass," he told her softly, and Nikki frowned. Then she giggled.

"What?" Harry asked her.

"Are you going to tell me off?"

Harry sighed. "No. But only if you tell me what's wrong. Because you don't normally drink like this, so something must have happened while I was at work today."

Nikki managed to make pretty steady eye contact with him for someone who was so intoxicated. "I heard from my father today," she told him quietly, suddenly sobering up a bit.

"Oh." Harry now fully understood the large amount of alcohol consumption. "What did he want?"

Nikki shook her head. "You know when he turned up at the lab a couple of years ago? I offered to pay him off, but he didn't want the money. We sort of made up. Kind of. And I told him that he could email me, or call occasionally."

Harry nodded. He knew that already.

"Well," Nikki continued. "I emailed him a few days ago to give him my new address and phone number, and it wasn't until today he got back to me."

She stopped, taking another gulp of wine. Harry didn't say anything, but waited for Nikki to continue in her own time.

"He obviously didn't know that I rented my flat, because the first thing he said to me was, 'How much equity have you got from the sale?'. He was after my money, Harry. Again!" She took another mouthful from her glass, and Harry could see tears sparkling in her eyes.

"Did he ask you for money?" he said softly.

"Well... no. But he obviously was hinting at it!"

"He might not be. He might just be curious," Harry countered.

Nikki snorted. "Asking someone how much money they've made from the sale of their flat isn't the sort of question that you ask people! You ask them why they've moved! Or what their new place is like!"

"Maybe," Harry replied. "What did you say back to him?"

"I didn't. I just couldn't be bothered to reply and get into an argument with him again. And I'm not going to reply either. He's not getting another penny out of me!"

Nikki blinked, seemingly determined not to cry. Harry reached across the table and placed his hand on her arm. "I'm sorry, Nikki."

"What have you got to be sorry for?"

"I'm sorry that you have such a waster as a father. I hate seeing you upset because of him," Harry told her. Nikki looked up at him and smiled warmly.

"It doesn't matter," she said, but it was obvious that she was lying. They looked at each other for a moment, before Nikki suddenly pulled her gaze away. "I suppose I'd better do the washing up," she said.

"No, I'll do it," said Harry. "You just go to bed and sleep off the one and a half bottles of wine that you've consumed."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I wouldn't offer otherwise, would I?" Harry stood up and tugged the plates out of Nikki's hand, putting them back down on the table. Then he looked at her with his arms outstretched.

"What are you doing?" Nikki smiled, but she wasted no time in accepting his embrace.

"When you hug someone it suppresses their nervous system, slowing their heartbeat and therefore making them feel better. So I am hugging you," Harry told her with a grin. Nikki laughed softly and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Thank you," she muttered. Harry kissed the top of her head.

"You're welcome."

* * *

**Quite a long chapter today. I really have been good at updating lately! I tried to make this chapter a bit funnier, I hope it worked! Thank you to all the lovely reviews people have been giving me, by the way. I'm sure they make me write quicker! :D Have I already said that in a previous chapter? Oh, I can't remember.  
****Review! **


	5. She's Got You High

**Chapter 5:** She's Got You High

Harry woke up the next morning to a loud banging sound. He groaned and opened his eyes, just as his bedroom door was flung open and Nikki came skidding in, her pyjamas twisted and a flushed look on her face.

"Harry!" she whispered furiously. "Harry!"

"What?" he moaned, sitting up and running a hand over his face.

"There's someone knocking at the door!"

It took Harry's sleepy brain a few seconds to process this information, but when he did he flung himself out of bed, glad that he'd put his t-shirt on with his pyjama bottoms the night before.

"At this time in the morning?" he exclaimed, looking at his clock. It was only just gone half-five.

"Yes! You have to go and see who it is!" she cried, as the knocking came again.

"Me? Why me?" Harry muttered indignantly as they apprehensively walked out of his bedroom and into the lounge. There was another round of hammering on the door.

"Because you're the man! You're supposed to!" Nikki whispered frantically.

"That is so sexist!" Harry replied fiercely.

Nikki ignored his remark, and muttered, "You need to open the door! They're obviously not going away!"

"Don't worry, I'll get rid of them," Harry said, hoping he could inject more confidence in his voice than he was actually feeling.

"Oh yes, you look very scary in your _pyjamas_! Which, by the way, are _very_ stylish," she breathed sarcastically.

"Is this really the time?" he hissed.

There was another loud knock and this time a gruff voice said, "Open up."

The pair of them edged closer to the door, Harry moving so that Nikki was behind him. With a deep breath he twisted the lock and tugged open the door.

Harry's surprise mirrored Nikki's as they saw who it was at the door.

"Dad?" she exclaimed. Harry gave her a worried sideways glance. She looked horrified.

"Hello Niks!" Mr Alexander smiled, stepping forward with an uneasy stride. However, Harry pushed out his hand and stopped him.

"Mr Alexander, what are you doing here this early?" he asked, trying to keep as much distance between Nikki and her father as he could.

"I wanted to see my daughter!" Mr Alexander cried, and Harry caught the smell of stale alcohol in his nostrils. Nikki obviously did too.

"Dad, are you _drunk_?!"

"Nooo," Mr Alexander laughed. He pushed past Harry and almost toppled into the wall. "Niks!" he exclaimed again, reaching out his arms. Nikki, however, retreated backwards and away from her father's embrace. Harry shut the door and hastily followed them into the lounge. Reaching Mr Alexander, Harry placed his hands on the man's shoulders and gently but firmly sat him in an armchair. Nikki was watching events with a shocked expression on her face from a couple of meters away. Sitting on the sofa, Harry patted the space next to him. Slowly, Nikki moved towards him and sat down. She shifted almost imperceptibly closer to him as her father spoke.

"I thought I'd come and see my wonderful daughter's new apartment!" he boomed, throwing his arms wide and gesturing at the room. Harry distinctly heard the sloshing of liquid in a bottle as Mr Alexander's coat moved.

"What do you think you're doing here at this time in the morning, Dad?" Nikki asked sharply.

"I just wanted to see _you_ darling!"

Harry stood up. "I'll get us some coffees. It might... sober some of us up a bit."

"Ooh, coffee!" Mr Alexander cried, slapping his hands together. "What a lovely young man you are, Dr... Dr..."

"Call me Harry, Mr Alexander," Harry interrupted.

"Ah, Harry!"

Harry walked into the kitchen and a second later Nikki joined him. She leant against the counter and shut her eyes, blowing out a long breath.

"Why does my father always have to barge into my life? As if he has the right to!" she burst out suddenly. Harry glanced back into the lounge, but Mr Alexander wasn't listening. He turned to Nikki and gave her a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry. We'll just find out why he's here and then I'll send him on his way," he told her.

"I know why here's here. He's after my money, just like I told you he was last night!" Nikki snapped. Harry winced slightly at her tone of voice, so she sighed and said, "Sorry."

"That's okay. But even if he is after your money, why is he here so early? And why is he drunk?"

Nikki shrugged and Harry saw her shiver. Her grey-cotton vest pyjama top couldn't be keeping her very warm.

"Why don't you go and get dressed?" he suggested, turning his back on her for a moment to pour coffee from his machine into three mugs.

"Not until I've got my father out of here," she replied. "Why don't you? As fetching as you look in your pyjamas."

"I'm not leaving you alone with your father."

Nikki gave him a small smile. "He's my dad, Harry. He's not going to try and kill me."

"Even so. I'd be happier knowing that you're all right," he told her. "Come on. Let's get this over with."

Leading the way back into the lounge, Harry passed Mr Alexander a mug.

"Haven't you got something stronger, Harry?" he chuckled drunkenly.

"I think coffee is what you need at the moment, Dad," Nikki said coolly. Mr Alexander nodded solemnly and sipped from his mug.

After a few minutes of silence, in which Harry noticed that Nikki was sat frozen on the sofa next to him, glaring at her father, she said, "So, now you've sobered up a bit, you can tell us why you decided to turn up, drunk and unannounced at five-thirty in the morning."

"I've got myself in a spot of bother, Niks," her father said apprehensively.

Nikki scoffed. "When aren't you in 'a spot of bother', Dad?"

"No, it's not like that. I owe someone some money-"

Nikki laughed humourlessly. "There's a surprise."

"It's not much, but I need to pay it off so that he gets off my back," Mr Alexander told them. Harry couldn't quite believe the audacity of the man. Over and over again he let Nikki down, only to turn up and ask for money from her. He used her as if she was his own personal cash machine.

"How much do you owe him?" Harry asked.

"Just south of £1000," Mr Alexander mumbled, looking down into the contents of his mug.

"I thought you said it wasn't much?" Nikki exclaimed, her eyes wide and disbelieving.

"I didn't want you to think bad of me."

"Oh, it's a bit late for that Dad."

"What I wanted to ask you... was whether you could loan me the money. I'll pay you back soon, I promise."

Nikki shot up from the sofa angrily. "No, Dad, no! I'm not lending you any more money! I'm sick of it. All you ever want from me is money, you couldn't care less about _me_!"

"That's not true," Mr Alexander said, standing up also. "I'm so proud of you, Nikki. My wonderful daughter."

"Your wonderful daughter who happens to be rather reliable at getting you out of debt," Nikki spat. She looked like she was going to lash out at her dad, so Harry edged slightly closer to her, ready to grab her just in case.

"No, Niks. You're the most important person in my life," Mr Alexander cried.

"Oh please! I'm the _only_ person in your life! And guess what, Dad? I don't have the money this time! So no, I am not going to bail you out! Now get out!"

Mr Alexander looked downcast, and Harry could see angry tears forming in Nikki's eyes. He stepped between them.

"Nikki, can I have a word?" he asked calmly. He then turned his attention to Nikki's father. "Can you just wait here for five minutes, Mr Alexander?"

He nodded and sank back down onto the sofa. Harry then grabbed a protesting Nikki's elbow and dragged her back into the kitchen. Once there he muttered, "If you want me to, I can lend your father the money."

"What?" Nikki exclaimed. "No, Harry! Don't be stupid."

"At least it would get him off your back. I really don't mind," he pressed, but Nikki was adamant.

"That's really sweet of you, but it's not that I don't have the money. It's that I'm fed up of him coming to me to ask me to bail him out of the stupid messes he gets himself in. He can sort himself out, Harry. He never bothered with me when I was a child, so why should I bother with him now?"

"Are you sure? You might regret it," Harry said softly.

"I'm sure. But thank you," she smiled. Harry nodded and they both went back into the lounge. Mr Alexander looked up and smiled sadly at Nikki.

"You're not going to give me the money," he stated. It wasn't a question. "I understand. I don't deserve it."

"No, you don't," Nikki agreed coldly.

Her father stood up and walked over to the pair. "I'm sorry to have called so early. I don't think I really knew what the time was."

"That's because you were plastered," Nikki said sharply. Then she softened and added, "Please don't drink, Dad. That's not the way to save your money, is it?"

"I know," Mr Alexander said. "It won't happen again."

The three of them moved to the front door, Mr Alexander looking particularly gloomy. "I'm very sorry to have bothered you," he told Harry, shaking his hand. "Although I always knew you'd make a good couple."

"Oh no," Harry said quickly, at the same time Nikki said, "We're not a couple."

"My mistake," Mr Alexander said sadly before turning to Nikki. Harry slowly retreated back into the lounge to give them some privacy.

It was a couple of minutes until Harry heard the door close, and another minute until Nikki appeared again. She was crying quietly, shaking in her pyjamas. Harry walked over to her. Nikki looked up at him and said, "Ignore me, I'm being stupid."

"No you're not," he told her quietly. The flow of Nikki's tears increased and Harry gathered her in his arms. She buried her head in his chest and clung to his t-shirt as she sobbed.

"He always does this to me," she mumbled.

"I know," Harry soothed, gently stroking her hair. "But he's gone now."

Eventually she pulled away, wiping at her eyes with her fingers. "I'm sorry," she told him. "If I hadn't told him my address in the first place, he'd never have shown up here."

"Nikki, don't worry about it," Harry told her. "It's not your fault."

Nikki just nodded, her eyes shining.

"Oh come here," Harry said, reaching out his arms again. Nikki chuckled slightly and readily accepted his embrace once again.

*

Harry couldn't sleep. He'd washed up the dinner things, he'd then read another chapter of his book, checked his emails, watched the ten o'clock news and finally gone to bed. But he just couldn't sleep. There was something niggling at him, some feeling in the pit of his stomach that was making his chest feel tight. But what worried Harry the most wasn't the feelings themselves – although they were unsettling - it was when these feelings had arisen. Which had been when he'd hugged Nikki. When he'd made her laugh, made her smile; made her feel better. To have her in his arms and make her feel safe... It had powered this rush of protection over her, and something else he didn't particularly want to think about.

He didn't know why that simple act of comfort and friendship, which he'd done many times before, had suddenly ignited these feelings that he thought had dissolved many years ago. Because, in fact, the last time Harry had felt like this was in the aftermath of that kiss at the conference. Well, he had until Penny had turned up. That had understandably meant that his and Nikki's relationship, or whatever it was they'd had, had taken a back seat. Then too much time passed for either one of them to bring it up again, and that had been that.

Frustratedly, Harry rolled over. His room was in darkness, the eerie green glow from his clock digits the only light. With a great sigh Harry heaved himself out of bed and padded across his room and out into the dark hallway. Once he'd reached the lounge he immediately poured himself a glass of scotch. Sinking onto the sofa, not bothering to turn the lights on, Harry looked out of the window over the sleeping city. He shivered slightly in his thin pyjama bottoms and cotton t-shirt.

He couldn't feel like this. He couldn't _allow_ himself to feel like this. To develop a crush on Nikki could ruin their friendship. Because that's all it was; a crush. It would go away over time, just like it had done nearly three years ago. Of course, Harry would never admit to himself that those feelings had never gone away at all, but that he'd just buried them. And now they were coming back to the surface so screamingly clear.

Downing his drink, Harry put his head in his hands and released a long breath. Why did everything have to be so complicated? Why did there always have to be this underlying thing between them? Of course, neither Harry nor Nikki ever talked about it or even acknowledged it was there, but occasionally – just occasionally – Harry thought that there was something in the way that she looked at him. Almost as if there was this hope of something more. But, being the coward that he was, he would always destroy the moment with a sarcastic remark.

He shook his head and laughed quietly at himself. Pathetic, just about summed him up. This was not a good enough reason to get worked up. It wasn't like he was in love with her. It was just a crush, a slight fancying. A perfectly harmless crush that would go away shortly. Nikki moving in, and her mention of being a 'dutiful wife', and cooking the dinner, then, of course, him comforting her, had all just led to him getting a bit emotional. That was all it was, the sudden adjustment he'd had to make to get used to having Nikki in his life twenty-four/seven had muddled him up. These feelings would go away. They _had_ to.

* * *

**I know I haven't updated for a couple of days, but I had writers block! Then this idea suddenly struck me yesterday, so I thought I would update an extra long chapter today!  
I hope I wrote Victor Alexander okay, and I'm also not sure whether I like the ending. Is it too soon for Harry to realise that he may be falling for Nikki?  
Let me know what you think!**


	6. Schoolboy Crush

**Chapter 6:** Schoolboy Crush

Having left the apartment before Nikki was even up the next morning, Harry had arrived at the lab rather earlier than he normally would have done, and was subsequently sat at his desk with nothing to do. However, he had been thinking about last night's thoughts all morning, and had come to the conclusion that it didn't matter if he had a crush on Nikki. It didn't mean that anyone else had to know about it, and until it had gone away Harry could just pretend everything was normal. It was all going to be fine.

An hour later and Nikki and Leo walked in.

"Blimey, Harry. You're actually here early," Leo said in mock amazement. "Be careful, your body will go into shock."

"Oh ha ha," Harry replied sarcastically. Leo grinned and went into his office, while Nikki walked over to her desk.

"You must have left at the crack of dawn, I didn't hear you get up," she said with a puzzled smile.

"I know... I err – I had this report to finish," he lied.

"Oh okay. I'll let you get on with it then," she grinned, before making to leave the room. However, her smile faded as she reached the doorway. She turned around.

"Yes?" Harry probed.

"What time do you think you'll be home tonight?" she asked him slowly.

Harry's brow furrowed confusedly. "Umm... I'm not sure. I might stay late. I have so much work to catch up on, if I get it all done today then I won't have to worry about it."

Nikki looked thoughtful for a moment and then nodded.

"Why?"

"Oh, no reason really," she smiled. "I'll see you later."

The doors swung shut behind Nikki as she left the room..

Well, that didn't go as badly as Harry thought it would. Perhaps he was already getting over this 'crush'. Or perhaps it wasn't there at all. Maybe he had just assumed that his feelings were of a romantic nature, and they actually weren't. For all he knew it could have misinterpreted them. Nikki was his best friend and room-mate, seeing her get so upset over her father had just got to him. That was all it was. Feeling slightly happier, Harry decided to get on with his work.

*

However, Harry's good mood and elation about figuring out his feelings didn't last long. In fact, when he arrived home late that night – after working hard all day – they completely disintegrated. Because to get in and find a kitchen full of dirty dishes lying everywhere, plus Nikki nowhere in sight, well – it wasn't exactly what he wanted to come home to. Sighing as he examined the mess, Harry wondered where Nikki actually was. Then he turned around to face the lounge and spotted the upturned vase and scattered cushions.

Panic flashed through him, and Harry began to imagine all sorts. But then his ears caught the sound of giggling coming from Nikki's bedroom, and he saw the two half-empty glasses of wine on the coffee table, and finally it clicked. There was someone there with her.

Harry's stomach clenched uncomfortably and he gritted his teeth as he picked up the glasses and took them into the kitchen. Turning on the taps full blast so as to drown out the noises coming from Nikki's bedroom, Harry began to wash up. He scrubbed at the pots and pans ferociously, his fingers burning slightly in the scalding water.

He didn't know why it was such a surprise, that Nikki should be dating others. What was a surprise was just how much it seemed to be bothering him. Clearly, it was only because he didn't want strange men that he'd never met in his apartment. Nikki had been out with a few wasters in her time, and the idea of her bringing them back to his place was slightly worrying. They might... steal something. Obviously.

Once he'd finished assaulting the dishes Harry moved on to viciously attacking the worktop in order to remove the dried-on food stains that Nikki's spaghetti bolognese – or whatever it was – had left there. He found his eyes were stinging, and assumed it was from the fumes of the cleaning fluid that he was spraying with abundance on the granite worktop. The scourer in his hands was aggravating his already burnt fingers, but still Harry scrubbed at the surface. Wanting to dispel the sounds of two people... enjoying themselves, Harry flicked on the radio so that cheery pop music filled the kitchen. However, this did nothing to lift his spirits.

How could she bring someone home without letting him know first? Hadn't one of their rules stated that some sort of text was involved? Harry tugged his phone out of his jeans pocket, but, as he'd expected, there were no new messages. Mind you, this could explain why Nikki had wanted to know what time he was going to be home that evening. Perhaps she'd thought that she could sneak this guy in before he arrived home, and have him out before Harry was up in the morning. Well, it looked like her little plan backfired then.

Muttering mutinously to himself, Harry made sure the kitchen was completely clean before he moved into the lounge. Flopping onto the sofa, he grabbed the remote control and turned on the television loudly. What he was watching was a mystery to him, Harry was more concerned with trying to block out the mental images that the sounds from Nikki's room were putting in his head. Surely the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, and the bitter animosity towards whoever it was with Nikki, was just resentment about not being kept in the loop. Wasn't it? Envy couldn't even be an option, it just couldn't. To admit that he was a bubbling pit of jealousy and rage would mean admitting that his feelings were more than just a slight fancying. And as that fact wasn't true, Harry didn't see how it could be jealousy.

Eventually Harry gave in to defeat and realised that he was going to have to go to bed. The noise from Nikki's room had died down slightly, but when Harry turned off the TV and radio, he knew that it was still loud enough to prevent him from sleeping. Switching the lights off, Harry went into his bedroom. But when there was an extraordinarily clear and loud giggle from Nikki, followed by a deep laugh from her companion, Harry realised that he couldn't do this.

Marching from his room, he grabbed his car keys and mobile phone and slammed out of his apartment.

*

Harry rapped on Leo's front door. Luckily there was still a dull light coming from the front room, so Harry was hopeful that his boss was up. However, it took a few moments until he saw Leo's outline approaching. He looked a bit wary of opening the door, but then he spotted who it was and visibly relaxed.

"Harry? What the hell are you doing here? It's nearly midnight!" he exclaimed, but he stepped back to let Harry in.

"I wanted to talk to you," Harry said meaningfully.

"Couldn't you talk to Nikki?" Leo asked. "You do live with her, and she is your best friend."

"No, not really," Harry replied bluntly.

Leo looked at him intently for a while, then sighed and said, "You'd better come through."

Harry followed the older man into his lounge and sunk onto the sofa, putting his head in his hands.

"You're lucky I'm still up. It's only because I had to finish that report for the coroner," Leo continued. "Give me a second and I'll be able to give you my undivided attention."

Harry heard the tinkling melody of a laptop shutting down, and the shuffling of papers being put away. Then he felt pressure next to him as Leo sat down. "So, what do you want to 'talk' about then?"

Harry didn't say anything immediately. He didn't even know how he felt himself, let alone how to voice those feelings.

"Harry?" Leo prompted, obviously realising it was serious. "Are you alright?"

"Not really," he replied, lifting his head from his hands and turning to face a concerned Leo.

"Okay... Do you want to tell me why?"

A sigh escaped Harry's lips. "I don't know where to start, Leo."

"I find the beginning is usually helpful," Leo smiled.

Harry shook his head. "She's got a man in her bed," he said slowly.

Leo frowned. "Who? Nikki?"

He nodded. "Nikki is at home with a man in her bed." There was a pause, and Leo didn't say anything but waited for Harry to continue. Eventually he did.

"Why," he said, very slowly. "Is the fact that Nikki is at home with a man in her bed making me feel sick to my stomach?"

"Oh, Harry," Leo sighed in an understanding way, putting his hand on the younger man's shoulder.

"I don't know what to do, Leo. It's like I'm angry with her for bringing someone home, but that's completely irrational of me. I mean, we're not dating or anything."

"Do you think that maybe... just maybe you wish you _were_ dating?" Leo asked carefully.

"I don't know. I don't know what to think any more," Harry groaned, putting his head in his hands once again.

"Well, only you can know how you're feeling, Harry."

"No, I need you to tell me what's going on in my head, Leo!" Harry said firmly. "Please, if I don't hear it said out loud, then I'll never believe it."

"Okay then. I'll be completely honest with you, shall I?" he asked. Harry nodded. "Right. I think, the reason that you are so worked up about knowing Nikki is with someone, is because you are jealous. Simple as that. You're obviously harbouring feelings for Nikki but don't know how to handle them. Coming home to discover her with a guy is like a slap in the face. You know why it's stinging, you just don't want to admit it to yourself."

Harry was lost in thought for a moment. Everything Leo said seemed to be true, but that didn't mean that Harry was happy with it. Eventually he said, "It's just a crush. It will go away." He hoped he sounded more confident than he actually felt.

"Oh please, Harry," Leo scoffed. "You know as well as I do that this is more than a 'crush'. Like I said, you're just frightened of admitting it to yourself because it's Nikki."

"Exactly!" Harry exclaimed. "It's Nikki! Nothing can ever happen for that simple reason!"

Silence fell, and it was a while before Leo replied. "You can't hide from this, Harry. You either have to get over these feelings, which I don't think you'll be able to do, or tell Nikki about them. You need to know how she feels before you can move on."

"What if I don't want to move on?" Harry muttered.

"Then you have no choice _but_ to tell her," Leo told him, an answer that Harry already knew. "Look, sleep here tonight. You can have the sofa."

"Thank you, Leo." Harry smiled up at his boss.

"You're welcome. I'll go and get you some pillows and stuff." Leo stood up and left the room.

Fifteen minutes later and Harry was lying in his makeshift bed on Leo's sofa, gazing up at the ceiling through the darkness. There was no way he could possibly tell Nikki how he felt. What would happen to their friendship if she knocked him back? It would destroy it; Harry could never do that to himself or to Nikki. Besides, if she was seeing other men then it was obvious that she didn't like him in that way either.

As Harry tried to get more comfortable, he realised that he had to admit that Leo was right about one thing. He'd known it himself all along as well, really. This was way more than just a crush.

* * *

**I'm so sorry I haven't updated for so long, but I had writers block again. It's because I didn't really know where I was going to go next with this story, but I do now. Hopefully the updates will be more frequent again!  
****Not sure if I like this chapter... I wanted to put some of the Harry/Leo friendship in there somewhere, because I think there's not really enough of it on this site, and it's always nice to see! :)  
****Please review!**


	7. Everybody's Gone To War

**Chapter 7:** Everybody's Gone To War

Harry quietly let himself into his apartment, desperately hoping that Nikki and her boyfriend had already said their goodbyes. The whole place was silent, and Harry briefly wondered whether they were still in bed. Oh, how he hoped they weren't.

Just as he'd placed down his keys and shrugged off his jacket Nikki appeared in front of him. She let out a relieved sigh and ran at Harry, throwing her arms around his neck.

"Thank goodness you're alright! When I saw that your bed hadn't even been slept in I completely panicked," she exclaimed.

Harry took hold of her wrists and removed Nikki from himself, before stepping past her and into the kitchen.

"Harry? Are you okay?" Nikki frowned.

"Fine," he said bluntly, putting some water into the kettle. With his back to Nikki he missed the flash of hurt and confusion on her face.

"Why didn't you come home last night?" she asked him.

"I did."

"Really? When?" The surprise was evident in her voice, and Harry thought he heard a trace of guilt there as well.

"Who do you think did all the washing up?" he asked coolly.

"I did wonder. But you didn't have to do that, I'd have done it," she told him.

Harry turned around to face her. He stirred his tea calmly as he leant against the worktop. "It sounded to me like you were a bit busy."

Nikki bit her lip. "Ah," she said. "You know about Paul."

"Paul?" Harry repeated, with the air of someone mildly interested. "It's nice to finally put a face the groans."

Nikki blushed. "Harry, are you angry with me?" she asked nervously. Okay, how was he going to handle this? He could tell her the truth, as Leo had suggested? No, no he couldn't do that. He'd have to bluff his way out of it.

"Not angry, as such. Just... disappointed." His voice remained calm and almost indifferent as Harry took his tea through to the lounge and sunk onto the sofa with a weary groan.

"Why?" Nikki asked as she followed him. Harry noticed that she looked upset.

"You could have told me. I spent all day in your company at work, why didn't you just ask me if you could bring some guy back here?"

"I didn't think it was really important. You said you'd be back late anyway, so I assumed that we'd be out of your way by the time you were home. Which we were!" Nikki protested.

"No you weren't! I could still _hear_ you both! And I really didn't _want_ to hear it. So I was forced to go to none other than Leo's and sleep on his bloody sofa!" he told her.

"Well I'm sorry if I was actually having a nice evening," she said sarcastically.

"Nikki, you can have as many guys back here as you want, just let me know first so that I can _soundproof_ my _bedroom_!" he said cruelly.

Nikki flushed with anger. "I'm not a tart, Harry!"

"So this 'Paul' wasn't just yet another one of your one-night stands?" he spat.

"How dare you! I'll have you know I've been dating Paul for almost two weeks now. I really like him!"

Harry felt his insides clench painfully. So she had been seeing this guy for ages. How could he not know about it? And that definitely meant that his feelings towards her weren't reciprocated. Harry felt as though someone was squeezing his lungs, his chest felt so tight.

"I have to get ready for work," he said coldly, slamming down his mug and making to push past Nikki. However, she grabbed his arm and held him back.

"What's the matter with you?" she asked him sharply, her face just inches from his. Harry held her gaze, and for a moment he just imagined himself telling her everything and seeing what her reaction would be. But he knew what would happen then, it would be her gently pushing him away and telling him that she was sorry, but she didn't feel that way about him. No, he couldn't tell her how he felt.

"Nothing is that matter with me," he argued. "Now would you mind removing your hand from my arm so that I can shower?"

"Fine," she replied coolly, releasing her grip on him none to gently. "Go have your bloody shower."

"Fine, I will," he said, storming from the room. However, when he reached the doorway Nikki called after him.

"I was so worried about you this morning when you didn't come home!" she said, and Harry could hear her voice wavering. "I'm sorry that I didn't let you know about Paul, and I'm sorry that we... kept you up. But I honestly didn't know that it was a problem. I promise it won't happen again."

Harry sighed, feeling immediately guilty. He turned around to face Nikki, his face softening. "You don't need to apologise," he told her. "I completely overreacted, I'm sorry. I was letting my own personal feelings get in the way."

Nikki swallowed hard and he saw her eyes widen from the other side of the room. Harry realised what he'd said and inwardly swore.

"What feelings?" she said, her voice quiet.

"What?" he croaked.

"Harry, what feelings?" Nikki repeated, louder and more urgently.

"Well... I guess I was jealous of the fact that you have a sex life, and I don't," he told her, plastering a fake smile on his face and hoping that Nikki didn't see through his lie.

"Oh," she said. "That's it?"

"Yes. Why, what were you expecting?" he asked. He knew it was a risky question, but Harry could have sworn he saw disappointment in Nikki's eyes.

"Nothing." She shook her head, and what Harry had thought he had seen had disappeared.

An awkward silence fell, where neither one seemed to know what to say. Eventually Harry said, "I'm going to go and get ready. But we're... we're okay?"

Nikki gave him a small smile. "Yeah, we're good."

"Okay then." Harry grinned at her before hastily retreating to the bathroom.

*

Awkward, was an understatement. Skirting around each other all day, Harry had barely seen Nikki. He regretted not telling her the truth that morning so much. Maybe if he'd just admitted that he had feelings for her, then they could be together by now. But then, on the other hand, if she'd rejected him it would be even worse.

At this point Nikki walked into the cutting room, where Harry was just finishing an autopsy. She walked over to him and just stood watching for a moment. It was slightly unnerving.

"There are a lot of petechial marks around the eyes," she stated. Harry nodded.

"I know. It was definitely murder."

"Harry?"

"Yes, Nikki?"

She looked at him for a moment, before saying, "I want – No... I would really _like_ for you to meet Paul."

Oh God. She actually wanted him to meet this boyfriend of hers. How excruciatingly painful would that be for Harry? Surely he couldn't agree to it? All he had to do was say no. But then Nikki would question why...

"Yeah, okay. That would be nice," he smiled. What? _What?_ Oh, why did he always have this urge to please her? It was always his downfall.

Nikki smiled in relief. She was obviously expecting him to say no. "Good, that's good. How about I cook us all dinner tonight?"

"Yes, that sounds great," Harry grinned.

"Okay then. Make sure you're home by seven," she told him, before smiling at him and leaving the cutting room.

Harry groaned and looked down at the body in front of him. "You really don't know how lucky you are," he sighed.

*

Harry arrived home a little before seven that night, and let himself into the apartment rather apprehensively. Once inside he was greeted by Nikki, who looked happier than he'd seen her in ages.

"Oh good, you're home," she smiled.

"Indeed I am," he replied, shrugging off his coat. Once he was done Nikki grabbed his arm and dragged him through to the lounge.

"Harry, I would like you to meet Paul," she said. A man stood up from the sofa. He was an inch or two shorter than Harry, had short light-brown hair and startling blue eyes. He was wearing a thin navy jumper and jeans, and his whole demeanour reeked 'charmer'. His build was quite athletic, but he was rather stocky.

"Ah, so this is the infamous Harry," Paul grinned, extending his arm. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Really?" Harry smiled, shaking Paul's proffered hand. "Nothing bad, I hope?"

"Oh no, not at all," he laughed. "This is a nice apartment you have here."

"Yeah, well it does the job," Harry replied. He hated Paul. There was something about him that was unsettling Harry, he just couldn't place his finger on it. He was almost _too_ nice.

Once the pleasantries were over, Paul sat back down on the sofa and Harry followed Nikki into the kitchen to open a bottle of wine.

"So, what do you think?" Nikki asked him in a hushed tone.

"He's nice. I like him a lot," Harry lied. He just couldn't bear to wipe the excited smile of Nikki's face.

"Oh I'm so glad," she whispered. "It means a lot to me that you're doing this, Harry."

Harry just smiled at her before grabbing some glasses and taking them and the bottle back into the lounge. Shortly after Nikki followed him, and Harry poured them each a glass of red wine.

"Dinner will be ready in a couple of minutes, if you want to sit down," Nikki told them after a few minutes of small-talk. Harry eagerly made his way to the table. The sooner this evening was over, the better. Paul sat opposite him, next to where Nikki had laid herself a place. Harry felt strangely lonely on the other side of the table.

"So, you're a pathologist as well" Paul said as they waited.

"Yeah, I am." Harry was not going to engage in conversation with this man unless he had to.

"And you met Nikki at work. You know each other well?"

"Yes, we do. She's my best friend," Harry told him, hoping to convey the message that he was not out to let Paul hurt Nikki.

"So I see," Paul said, raising his eyebrows. Their mutual dislike of one another was evident.

"What do you do then?" Harry asked.

"I'm an accountant."

"Ah." Harry nodded slowly before adding, "Fun job, is it?"

Paul narrowed his eyes at him. "Maybe not. But the pay cheque every month makes it all worthwhile."

They were interrupted by Nikki walking back into the room, and Harry plastered a fake smile on his face.

"Right. I've made Mediterranean Pasta," she told them as she placed down a large dish. "Harry, I know you'll like it, but Paul, is that-"

"It sounds really lovely, Nikki," Paul cut across her, smiling broadly. It made Harry feel a little bit nauseous.

"Good," Nikki said, retreating kitchen once again but returning just a few seconds later with another bottle of wine. She filled their glasses with it, and Harry downed nearly all of his in one go. He could feel eyes on him though, whether Paul's or Nikki's he didn't know.

They ate happily enough, although the conversation and laughter was rather forced on Harry's side of the table. But he was determined not to let it show, because this was Nikki's night and she'd obviously gone to a lot of trouble.

Finally the meal was over, and Harry and Paul retreating to the lounge once more while Nikki cleared everything away. Strategically, Harry had subtly moved them both over to the window, as far away from Nikki and the kitchen as he could be.

"You get a nice view from up here," Paul said conversationally, but Harry had other ideas.

Stepping a bit closer to him, Harry lowered the level of his voice and growled, "Now you listen to me, Paul. If you hurt that woman in any way, I will personally make sure that your life is a living hell."

"Of course I won't hurt her. Who do you think I am?" Paul muttered angrily.

"I think you are a good-for-nothing leech who will forget all about Nikki as soon as another woman comes along to take her place," Harry spat. "Now she thinks thinks the sun shines out of your every orifice-"

"Maybe it does," Paul smirked.

"You know, you're too fond of interrupting people, Paul," Harry said, with forced casualness. However, he soon became more serious again. "She thinks that this is it now, you and her for the rest of her life, otherwise she wouldn't have asked me to meet you. So if you're not serious about her, if you're just going to bugger off and leave her after a month or two, you need to tell her."

"I like Nikki, I do," he told Harry. "But she's not going to be my 'happily ever after'. It's just a bit of fun."

"Not to Nikki it isn't. Now either you break it off, or-"

"Or what?" Paul scoffed. "You wouldn't dare do anything to me! You're just a pathetic man who is obviously in love with his room-mate. Mind you, who can blame you. I mean, she can be a bit on the tarty side some of the time – alright, a lot of the time – but I suppose she's got the looks to pull it off."

"How bloody dare you!" Harry whispered furiously. He took a step forward, all fired-up and ready to hit Paul there and then, but they were interrupted by Nikki walking into the room.

Both men sprung away from each other, and luckily Nikki didn't seem to notice as she was too busy concentrating on not spilling any of the coffee that she had on a tray in her hands. Once she'd put it down she looked up at them both and smiled.

"What are you two talking about then?"

"Oh nothing," Harry said quickly. "Just the view from up here."

"I was saying what a lovely one it was," Paul added.

"What an interesting discussion," Nikki said sarcastically, but she grinned at them. "Do you want a coffee?"

"I would love one," Paul said, shooting a smug glance at Harry, that clearly said he wasn't going to bow down to his threats. "Harry, would care to join us?" he asked.

Harry had to take a deep breath to control his emotions. He was not going to let this foul piece of work get the better of him. "You know what? I think I will."

Nikki looked slightly puzzled by the formality between the pair, but she didn't say anything. Instead she just poured them their drinks.

*

It was another half an hour before the moment Harry had been looking forward to all night finally came. Paul was stood by the front door getting his coat on, and Nikki was smoothing it down over his shoulders.

"I've had a lovely evening, Nikki, thank you," he said sweetly, pressing a kiss to Nikki's lips. Harry felt his stomach churn.

"So have I," Nikki smiled. "Call me tomorrow."

"I will." There was another kiss between them, this one lasting slightly longer. In the end Harry had to clear his throat. He couldn't bear seeing that man with his hands on Nikki any longer. Paul looked at him before walking over.

"Goodbye, Harry," he said, grabbing his hand in a vice-like grip.

"I'll be seeing you, Paul," Harry replied, squeezing Paul's hand as hard as he could as well. Then, much to Harry's surprise, Paul used his grip on Harry's hand to pull him into a hug.

"Break it off," Harry breathed in the other man's ear.

"Never," Paul muttered back.

After slapping each other on the back, rather harder than they usually would, Paul was finally out of the door. Nikki was still smiling, completely oblivious to the tension between her friend and boyfriend.

"Oh, I've had such a good evening," she gushed as Harry followed her through to the lounge. "Paul's such a nice man, isn't he? I knew you'd like him. I think I might actually be falling for him, Harry."

These words cut Harry like a knife, and before his brain had had time to think of a response, he blurted out, "I hate him, Nikki. He's the biggest bastard I've ever had the displeasure to meet, and if you don't finish it with him then you're more of a fool than I thought."

* * *

**Ooh, long chapter. And how will Nikki respond to that? I can't imagine she's the type of woman who likes being told what to do! And will she believe what Harry has to tell her? I don't even know myself yet, so you'll have to wait ****until the next chapter to find out! :D  
****Do you think you can manage a review for me? **


	8. When Words Fail

**Chapter 8:** When Words Fail

"I hate him, Nikki. He's the biggest bastard I've ever had the displeasure to meet, and if you don't finish it with him then you're more of a fool than I thought."

A stunned silence from Nikki followed Harry's words. Harry could feel the blood pumping through his veins, making adrenaline rush through him.

"How dare you," Nikki whispered, in a dangerous tone. However, Harry could see a look of uncertainty in her eyes.

"Listen to me," Harry pressed. "Earlier tonight I was speaking to him, just to tell him not to mess you about-"

"You did _what_?" Nikki exclaimed. "You had no right to have a go at him! Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Nikki, you're not letting me finish!" Harry shouted. "I know you, and if you fall for Paul – like you just said you could be – and then he hurts you... well, it will kill you. And I didn't want that to happen. So I was just telling him that if he wasn't serious about the relationship then he should end it, but-"

"I can't _believe_ you, Harry! I thought you _liked_ him! You're just jealous because I'm finally doing something with my love life, and you're still continuing with your string of twenty-five year old bimbos who know no better!" she screamed at him.

Harry felt a flush rise up his neck. This wasn't going as well as he'd hoped. "If you keep interrupting me then you're never going to let me get to my point, and you won't know why I hate him!" he shouted, getting annoyed. "At the moment you're throwing these accusations at me, without knowing the full bloody story!"

"Well go on then! Get to the point, Harry! Tell me your pathetic reason for cruelly insulting my boyfriend!"

Silence fell. Harry suddenly wasn't so sure that this was the right thing to do. Maybe he was interfering. It wasn't his job to meddle in Nikki's relationships. However, he knew it was too late to back down now. She was looking at him expectantly.

"He said that your relationship was – and these are his exact words – 'Just a bit of fun'. A bit of _fun, _Nikki! Not that you're his future wife, but that you were just 'a bit of fun'!"

Nikki's eyes were sparkling, but she still looked furious. "It gets worse," Harry went on, more quietly this time. "He called you... things. Things that were completely unfair and not even true!"

"What did he _apparently_ call me?" Nikki asked. Her tone was disbelieving, but Harry knew her well enough to know that she was suddenly apprehensive.

"Does that really matter?" he asked wearily.

"Yes. Unless you're making it up?" She raised her eyebrows at him.

"He called you a tart. He said that you can 'be a bit on the tarty side a lot of the time', to be precise. I promise you, Nikki, I'm not making this up. He was cruel and horrible. Please, you have to trust me on this," Harry practically begged. Nikki took a step closer to him, and for a moment Harry thought that she was actually going to start listening. However, then her hand connected with his cheek.

The loud crack that echoed through the room was followed by a gasp – more of shock than pain – from Harry. Nikki didn't step back from him, but held his gaze. Her eyes were filled with tears, although they looked to be tears of anger.

"Why are you doing this to me?" she asked him quietly, her voice surprisingly steady.

"_Me_?" Harry exclaimed incredulously. "I'm just telling you what he said! I don't want to see you getting hurt!"

"No, Harry. _You_ are the one hurting me at the moment, not Paul!" She turned her back to him and stormed over to the window in the lounge. Harry followed her, determined to make her listen. For her to go back to Paul after everything that Harry had told her would be stupid. However, he didn't need to say anything, because Nikki spoke first. She had her back to him as she looked out over London, and Harry had to strain his ears to hear her.

"I thought that you were the one person who would never hurt me, who would never lie to me."

"I am! I'm telling you the truth, Nikki!" Harry insisted.

"I know why you're lying," Nikki continued, ignoring him completely. Her voice was so soft that it was slightly unnerving. "You just don't like Paul, and can't stand the thought of him being in your apartment all the time. So you're trying to split us up."

"It's not _my_ apartment, it's _our_ apartment," Harry corrected. "And is it so wrong of me to tell you the truth about the man who you thought you were-" he had to take a deep breath, and gritted his teeth as he said the next two words, "-falling for."

Nikki spun around, her face flushed with anger. "Just stop it, Harry! Why are you really telling me all this? If he is a bastard like you say then I'll find out in my own time! You don't need to protect me, or whatever it is you're trying to do!" She was shouting at him again. Harry preferred it when she was all quiet.

"Well I am sorry for being your friend!" he said sarcastically.

"I don't need you, Harry!"

"No, that much is evident," Harry spat. "I wish I'd never bloody told you!"

He turned on his heel on walked away from Nikki, trying to keep his emotions in check.

"Don't walk away from me!" Nikki shouted after him, but Harry didn't look back. However, he felt a hand grab his arm, and Nikki pulled him around again. The pair of them looked at each other for a moment, both seething with anger. In that moment all Harry wanted to do was get away from Nikki. Then, taking him completely by surprise, she leant up and furiously kissed him.

Harry eagerly responded, his hands automatically going to Nikki's hips as she buried her fingers in his hair. Pushing them both up against the wall, Harry took advantage of her surprise and deepened the kiss. She moaned into his mouth, her hands running down his back. He couldn't believe he was actually kissing her. And she had initiated it as well. Surely that must mean something?

Trailing kisses across her jaw and down her neck, Harry felt Nikki slip down the wall slightly as her knees weakened. "Harry..." she groaned, and Harry crashed his lips into hers once again. Wrapping his arms around her waist tightly, he pulled them both away from the wall. He staggered backwards until he connected with the arm of the sofa, and the pair of them toppled down onto it.

Nikki's hair tickled Harry's face as she leant over him. It smelt of some sort of flower, he just couldn't put a name to it. But when he felt her hands slide under his jumper he stopped caring about stupid flowers. All that mattered was that he finally had Nikki in his arms.

Forgetting that they were lying on the sofa, Harry rolled them both over, causing them to crash to the floor. However, neither really knew nor cared. That was until Harry bumped his head on the leg of the coffee table.

"Ow," he mumbled against Nikki's lips, causing her to giggle. He sat up, so that Nikki was on his lap. He started working on the buttons on her blouse, and was soon pushing it off her shoulders and discarding it on the floor. Nikki then did the same to his jumper. At this point she suddenly stood up. Harry's whole body protested at the break of physical contact, but Nikki reached out her hand for him. Jumping to his feet, Harry kissed her again. Realising why she had got up in the first place, Harry led them out of the room, still attached to each other's lips. They stumbled over their own feet as they finally toppled into the hall, Nikki furiously tugging at Harry's jeans.

Harry couldn't even string a coherent thought together. It seemed almost impossible that this was even happening. Only a few minutes ago Harry would have given anything to get _away_ from Nikki. They finally reached Harry's bedroom and crashed into the door, causing it to hit the wall behind with a loud bang.

"Harry..." Nikki groaned in frustration as he nuzzled into her shoulder and started working on the button on her jeans.

"Are ... you ... sure about ... this?" Harry asked, inbetween kisses.

"God yes," she breathed, pulling Harry backwards until the pair of them collapsed in a kissing, giggling heap on the bed.

*

Hours later and Harry was just drifting in and out of sleep. He was lying on his back with his arm around Nikki's shoulders. She was propped up on one elbow watching him, Harry could feel her eyes on him. However, he was too tired to say anything. Just as he finally felt himself drop off, Nikki pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. The mattress went up slightly as she climbed off of it. Harry was aware of the fact, but in his semi-conscious state his mind couldn't actually seem to stop her.

*

Harry groaned as he brain stirred back into life the next morning. Every part of him was aching, and it took three attempts for him to finally get out of bed. He pulled on his pyjama bottoms, but when he tried to do the same with his t-shirt, it sent a stinging pain shoot across his back. Frowning, Harry threw the top to the floor and looked at his back in the mirror. There were several large scratches across the top half of his back. Grinning in spite of himself, Harry left his bedroom without his top on.

It was still relatively early, so Harry was surprised to walk into the lounge and see Nikki curled up on the sofa with her hands clasped around a mug of coffee. She looked up when he walked in and hastily got to her feet.

"Morning," Harry said stiffly. He saw Nikki's eyes slide over his chest, and watched as her cheeks reddened.

"Hi," she replied. There was an awkward silence in which neither one knew what to say.

"How are you feeling?" Harry asked eventually, just wanting to break the silence.

"Bruised and achey. Kind of like I've just run a marathon," she said. Harry snorted and Nikki gave him a small smile. "What about you?"

"Sore," he grimaced, quickly showing Nikki his back. "I didn't come out dressed like this to tease you, you know."

Nikki looked shocked. "Oh, Harry, I'm sorry," she said sympathetically. "Although, you should really look at it as a compliment."

Harry raised his eyebrows. "Why's that then?"

"Well... I've never done that to a guy before," she confessed, immediately blushing. Harry laughed, but it was rather louder than he normally would have done. He stopped pretty sharpish as well, and the silence returned. This time it was Nikki who broke it.

"Look, Harry," she started. Harry recognised her tone and immediately felt his heart sink. "Last night was _really_ amazing; just thinking about it makes my knees..." she trailed off, going red again, and took a deep breath before continuing. "But it shouldn't have happened, and it can't happen again. Things will just get messy and complicated. Let's just... move on. That way we'll only have good memories."

Harry tried not to let his devastation show on his face. Part of him wanted to agree with her, another part was screaming at him to tell her how he really felt.

"Is that why you deserted me in the middle of the night?" he asked, a grin gracing his lips.

"If by deserting you mean me leaving your bed and walking across the hall and into mine, then yes, I guess it was."

"Can I just remind you that it was _you_ that kissed _me_?" he pointed out.

"I know. I shouldn't have, I'm sorry," she replied, looking down at her feet.

"You don't need to apologise," Harry sighed. "And about the argument we had beforehand-"

"Just forget about it, Harry," Nikki interrupted. "You were just trying to look out for me. You were being a good friend, it's fine. I called Paul this morning and left him a message to end things."

She looked sad, but Harry couldn't help but feel anything other than relief. Nikki's eyes connected with his, she was waiting for his reaction. Suddenly, it dawned on Harry that she wasn't just _waiting_ for his reaction, she was _testing_ him. The intensity of her gaze took his breath away, and he knew that if he didn't say it now, then he'd regret it forever.

"I wasn't just being a good friend," he told her quietly. Nikki didn't look surprised, but nodded. "I was jealous, but not for the reason that I gave you. I think I'd have hated Paul even if he was Father Christmas, purely because he was allowed to touch you, and hold you, and kiss you... and I wasn't."

Nikki's eyes were shining, but her face was expressionless. Harry went on.

"I knew that I had inappropriate feelings about you a day or two after you moved in. I think it was the whole 'shower' incident," he told her, and a smile spread across Nikki's lips as she remembered. "But I lied to myself; told myself it was just a crush and that it would go away. But it didn't. Then there was the whole business with your father, and I couldn't understand just why I was getting so worked up about it."

"I didn't know," Nikki muttered, brushing a stray tear from her cheek.

Harry nodded. "Well, that was when Paul entered stage-right. I spoke to Leo, and he made me see that it was more than just a crush. That's why I've been so off with you, I'm sorry."

"I suspected," she told him quietly. "But I thought I was imagining it. The way you looked at me sometimes, the way your conversation was forced with Paul at dinner..."

"It worries me, sometimes. Just how well you know me," Harry smiled. Nikki didn't say anything for a while.

"So you do?" she asked him.

"Do what?"

"Have feelings for me?"

Harry swallowed hard. "Yes," he said simply.

"So why did you just agree with me when I told you that last night shouldn't have happened?" she asked him, evidently confused.

"I didn't agree with you," Harry reminded her. "I never actually said either way."

"Oh."

Silence fell, and Harry waited with baited breath.

"I knew all along last night that Paul wasn't serious about me," she confessed. "I just wasn't aware that he thought so little of me. And it hurt to hear it from you. It wouldn't have been so bad if I'd heard it from Paul himself, but for you to tell me... I don't know, it just hurt. But I was testing you! I wanted you to tell me that you had feelings for me."

"I thought about it," Harry admitted. "I wanted to. But I couldn't."

Nikki nodded. "So what do we do?" she asked him shakily.

"Well that all depends," he replied.

"On what?"

"Well... you haven't told me how you feel about me yet," Harry said nervously. Nikki looked at him, her eyes filling with tears again.

* * *

**Ooh, this is a big chapter. Not in length, but in importance! :) I hope I wrote it okay, I'm not very happy with it to be honest. It worked better in my head!**


	9. She's The One

**Chapter 9:** She's The One

"Well... you haven't told me how you feel about me yet," Harry said nervously. Nikki looked at him, her eyes filling with tears again.

"Oh, Harry," she sighed. "Of course I feel the same way. How could I not? I mean, it's me and you. You're the man I trust the most in the whole world."

"So what's stopping you then?" he asked quietly, stepping closer to her and taking her hands in his.

"What happens if we don't work? I can't lose you," she whispered, her head drooping so that she was gazing at the floor.

"You could never lose me," Harry told her, releasing one of her hands so that he could gently tilt her chin up. "I wouldn't let that happen."

"But it would be against workplace rules. What would everyone say? What would _Leo_ say?"

"I should think it would be 'about time'," Harry smiled. "And as for workplace rules, who cares? Leo was the one who advised me to tell you how I felt in the first place, he wouldn't have done that if he didn't want us to enter into a relationship."

Nikki still looked uncertain, and she was adamantly avoiding his gaze. Sighing, Harry said, "Nikki. There's no way that I can just let go of your hand and walk away after everything that's been said."

Nikki shook her head. "I can't walk away either."

A smile graced Harry's lips. Edging his face closer to hers, he said, "I'm going to kiss you now."

"Okay," Nikki grinned, looping her arms around his neck lazily.

Placing one hand on Nikki's cheek, and tucking her hair behind her ear with the other one, Harry gently kissed her. It was slow and soft, much less fierce than the night before, but Harry wanted to convey to Nikki just how strongly he felt for her. He'd never really been one with words, so a kiss was going to have to do.

They broke apart, but Nikki didn't remove her hands from his shoulders.

"Hmm," she said. "I think I could get used to you doing that everyday."

"Everyday? You'll be lucky," Harry joked, pressing his lips to Nikki's forehead to prove he didn't mean it.

However, Nikki's smile faded and she sighed. "We have to tell Leo."

"I know."

"We'll do it this morning; get it over and done with."

"Okay," Harry agreed reluctantly. "But I would much rather pull a sickie and spend the day in bed with you."

Nikki laughed. "I'm sure you would, but it's not going to happen. Now, if you go and get dressed, I'll make breakfast."

"Deal," Harry grinned. He gave Nikki another quick kiss before turning around and retreating from the room.

"Harry?"

He turned around at the sound of Nikki calling after him. "Yes?"

"Thank you."

"What for?"

"For not letting me say no to you," she told him with a small smile.

Harry chuckled. "You're welcome." He turned around again, but just as he reached the doorway Nikki said, "And Harry?"

Harry sighed. "Yes, Nikki?"

Nikki looked at him guiltily as she said, "I really am sorry about your back."

*

As usual, Harry and Nikki made their own separate ways to work so that they would both have their cars on hand throughout the day. This left Harry with plenty of time to mull over the morning's events whilst he was sat in the usual rush hour traffic. Part of him still refused to believe that Nikki felt the same way about him. However clichéd it may sound, to Harry it was like all his dreams coming true. Literally, in the case of what had happened the night before. It had been the best sex he'd ever had, purely because of _who_ he'd had it with. Nikki had practically said the same about him that morning as well.

A flush of pride crept up Harry's neck rather than pain this time as he thought about the scratches on his back. Mind you, he'd have to make sure Leo didn't get a glimpse of them in the locker room. Harry laughed out loud at how wrong that sounded. He really was in a good mood. Not that it was very surprising. He just hoped that Leo wasn't going to burst this happy bubble.

When he pulled into the car park he saw Nikki leaning against her car waiting for him. She walked over to Harry's door as he picked up his case and climbed out.

"I've just had a text from Leo," she told him. "He's running late, won't be in for a while."

"I wish we'd known earlier," Harry grimaced. "We could have gone back to bed."

"Is that all you think about?" Nikki laughed as she linked her arm through his and the pair of them walked into the lab.

"Pretty much, yeah," Harry joked, turning his head slightly to press a kiss to Nikki's temple. She giggled and leant her head against his arm.

"You know, I really want to write to my old landlord and say thank you to him for kicking me out now," she said thoughtfully.

"Why?" Harry asked with a confused laugh.

"Well, if I hadn't moved in with you, then you wouldn't have been there for me when my father turned up, nor would you have met Paul. And if you hadn't met Paul and become jealous of him, then we'd never have argued last night. And if we hadn't argued last night-"

"You wouldn't have snogged my face off," interrupted Harry with a grin.

"I was going to say then we wouldn't be where we are now," she corrected him with a reluctant smile.

"Of course you were," Harry said sarcastically. They had reached the doors to the lab now, and Harry held it open, letting Nikki step through first. As she did so her mobile rang out from her coat pocket. Tutting, Harry assumed it would be work, but this idea disintegrated when Nikki looked at the display darkly before ending the call.

"Who was that?" he asked suspiciously.

"Just my father," she replied with forced casualness, avoiding Harry's gaze as she walked over to his desk. Jogging after her, Harry caught Nikki's elbow.

"Your dad? Is he hassling you?" he asked her concernedly.

"No more than he has done in the past. It's fine, Harry."

It was only then that Harry noticed just how tired she looked. And he was sure it wasn't because of her lack of sleep the previous night.

"What does he want?" he asked her gently.

"I don't know. I haven't answered any of his calls, or listened to his messages."

"Don't you think you should?" Harry suggested.

"No. He's just after my money. Why should I speak to him? I don't owe him anything," she snapped.

"I know you don't. But what if it isn't about money?" he said carefully.

"What else would it be about!" she half-shouted. Harry flinched and Nikki sighed, her eyes filling with tears. "I'm not getting into an argument about this with you, Harry. He's my dad, if I want to ignore him, then just let me!"

Harry stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Nikki, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Okay," he soothed. "Okay..."

Nikki released a long, shaky breath, burying her face in his jumper. "I'm sick of him, Harry. I just want him out of my life for good. The amount of times he's let me down..."

"I know. I'm sure if you keep dodging his calls then he'll give up eventually," Harry said. Nikki removed her head from his chest to look up at him.

"Do you think so?"

"I do," Harry smiled. "I'm sorry I pushed you about it, it's none of my business."

"Of course it's your business. You're my best friend and boyfriend," Nikki told him matter-of-factly, as if it was the most ordinary thing in the world. Harry kissed the tip of her nose, making her smile.

"Just promise you'll tell me if anything like this happens again?"

"I promise," she said, before quickly kissing him lightly.

There was a noise behind them, and Harry turned to see Leo watching them, his eyebrows raised and his arms folded across his chest. "Well, you're not arguing any more then," he stated. "I take it this means that John or Paul, or whatever his name was, is out of the picture?"

"You could say that," Nikki grinned. "But if it wasn't for him then Harry wouldn't have confessed his undying passion for me."

Harry snorted but didn't say anything. Leo was looking between them with his eyes narrowed, and Harry had the fleeting impression that they were about to be told off, so he quickly said, "You told me to tell her, Leo. So I did. This morning. I mean, I probably should have done it last night before we slept together, but..."

"Harry, I don't think Leo needs to know the details," Nikki warned him. "The point is, we're happy."

"Good," Leo grinned at them, and Harry tried not to let his relief that his boss was okay show. "That's good. I'm happy for you as well."

"Thank you, Leo," Nikki said sincerely, and Harry nodded in agreement.

"Just... make sure it lasts this time," Leo told them, before retreating to his office. Harry turned to Nikki. Uncertainty sparkled in her eyes as she considered Leo's words. Sighing, Harry took her hands in his.

"I'm not going anywhere," he said. "You won't be getting rid of me that easily."

Nikki smiled at him. "Really?"

"Really."

He leant down and kissed her, running his fingers through her hair as he pulled her closer to him with his other hand. Nikki's hands went to his chest, but only to push him back.

"We have work to do," she grinned coyly, stepping away from him.

Harry groaned. "Nikki..." he whined, but she just smiled over her shoulder and walked from the room.

* * *

**I'm sorry I haven't updated for so long, but I've had the first half of this chapter written for ages and couldn't think of how to finish it, which is why it's a bit boring. But never mind, at least I've got another chapter up. I know what will be going in the next chapter as well, so that shouldn't be too long. **

**Let me know what you think!**


	10. When He Returns

**Chapter 10:** When He Returns

Harry and Nikki barely made it through the door to their apartment later that night before they had their hands all over each other. Harry felt like a child with a new toy; never wanting to put it down. As his lips roamed her shoulder, Nikki's fingers were roughly working on the buttons on his shirt. A mobile phone started trilling in the background, but Harry couldn't even say whether it was his or Nikki's. On and on it rang, but neither himself nor the woman now working on his jeans answered it. Besides, when the pair finally toppled into Harry's bedroom, they couldn't even hear the ringing, so it didn't matter.

Meanwhile, Nikki's mobile phone moved across the table slightly as it vibrated. The word 'Dad' was flashing on the display, only for no one to see it. Eventually it stopped, and for a moment the lounge was eerily quiet but for the giggling coming from the bedroom, however, a slightly louder and clearer ring then broke the silence. Someone was now trying to get through using the land-line. But still, the laughter from the other room didn't cease, and the caller was directed to the answer machine. The recently recorded new message echoed slightly in the empty room.

"_Hello, you have reached Harry – _and Nikki! - _Nikki, this was your idea, stop interrupting me! Yes, and Nikki. I'm sorry we're not available to take your call at the moment, but if you leave a message we'll get back to you as soon as we can. Thank you."_

There was a sharp beep, and a moment later someone sighed on the end of the line.

"Niks, it's Dad." The voice was shaky, the breathing ragged. The machine speaker probably wasn't good enough quality. "I really need your help, it's important. That... that man that I owe money to... well, he's turned a bit nasty." Another pause, another sigh. "I'm in trouble, Niks, and I don't think I can get out of it very easily this time. I'm not going to ask you for money, because I know I don't deserve anything from you and you understandably said no last time. But if you change your mind, I would so very much appreciate it. If not... well... I just want you to know that I've always loved you, and don't think I've told you enough."

There was another beep, this one slightly longer. The preoccupied couple in the bedroom remained blissfully unaware as the lounge was filled with silence once again.

*

The tinny ring of Harry's mobile phone blared through the dark bedroom, causing both Harry and Nikki to groan.

"That had better be yours," Nikki mumbled, turning her back to the noise.

"It is," he replied wearily, knowing exactly what that phone call meant and who it would be from. He leant over the edge of his bed and eventually found his jeans. Pulling his phone from the pocket, the ringing got louder, causing Nikki to groan and do the classic thing of folding one half of the pillow over her exposed ear.

Harry hastened to accept the call; it was giving him a headache. "Harry Cunningham."

_"Harry, it's Leo. I'm sorry to wake you, but I need you here."_

Harry tried and failed to stifle a yawn as he replied. "Leo, it's-" He glanced at his clock. "Four in the morning! Can't you handle it on your own?"

_"Well I could, but I think you'll want to be here. It is important, I wouldn't have called you otherwise,_" the older man replied, sounding tired himself.

"Fine," Harry conceded. "What's the address?"

_"I was paged an hour ago; I've already done the crime scene,"_ Leo told him. _"I'm at the lab."_

Harry couldn't for the life of him see why Leo would need his help at the lab, not when they were both as equally qualified. However, he knew that Leo was right: he wouldn't have called unless it was essential. Sighing, Harry said, "Okay. I'll be there in about forty-five minutes. Do you need Nikki as well?"

_"No. Make sure it's just you,"_ Leo replied quickly. Harry frowned but didn't say anything.

Once he'd hung up the phone, he rolled over and slid his arms around Nikki. "I have to go to work," he told her.

"I heard," she grumbled. However, she rolled onto her back to allow Harry to kiss her. "I'm going to stay here and sleep," she smiled. Harry pouted, causing Nikki to laugh and press her lips to his cheek.

"I'll see you later," he said softly. Nikki just made a noise of agreement and rolled over again, already shutting her eyes. Harry tutted pointedly, but planted a gentle kiss on Nikki's temple before he climbed out of bed.

*

When Harry arrived at the lab, bleary-eyed and dosed up on caffeine, he was greeted by a hassled looking Leo.

"I hope you've got good reason for getting me here at this unearthly hour," he joked, tugging off his scarf. Leo didn't say anything as he led the way down to the cutting room. Harry frowned at his boss's frosty reception. "Leo, what's going on?"

"It's Victor Alexander," he said stiffly, still walking. Harry raised his eyebrows.

"Nikki's dad?"

"Yes."

They'd reached the cutting room now, and Harry didn't know what to expect. Part of him was imagining Victor stood by one of the slabs, wanting to borrow money from Harry because his daughter wouldn't give him any. The other part of Harry, the realistic part, knew what he was about to see.

Sure enough, when he walked into the cold, dark room, he could clearly see the outline of Victor Alexander's body lying on the slab furthest from the doors, with a white sheet draped over him.

"Oh god," he muttered, his worst fears coming true.

"Now do you understand why I wanted you here and not Nikki?" Leo said bluntly. Harry nodded and he slowly walked towards the slab, with Leo close behind him. He couldn't tear his eyes from the body; wouldn't believe it until he actually saw Mr Alexander's face. However, when Leo did remove the sheet, Harry dropped his Starbucks coffee in surprise. It fell to the floor with a clatter and the hot liquid spilt around Harry's feet, but all he could focus on was the gaping bullet wound in the deceased man's head.

"Bloody hell..." he breathed.

"I know," Leo replied grimly.

"But... but how?" Harry stuttered, still unable to remove his eyes from the empty, staring ones of Mr Alexander.

"The police aren't sure yet. He was found in the back-alley of a restaurant, buried amongst the bags of rubbish. I'm pretty certain it was the actual place of the murder, but I won't know until I go back and examine it when it's light enough. But I don't think that's what we should be worrying about right now," Leo said, with a meaningful look at Harry. It was only then that the realisation of what this could mean for Nikki became apparent.

"Nikki," Harry sighed. "What are we going to do?"

"We'll tell her of course, just as we would any relative. We won't let her see the body unless she specifically asks to. There's no need for her to formally identify him; his DNA is plastered across the police database. I want Nikki kept out of this investigation as far as possible."

Harry nodded sadly. Worry about what Nikki's reaction was going to be spread through him like wildfire.

"I'll call her, shall I?" Leo asked, pulling his mobile out of his pocket. Harry, however, stopped him.

"No. Let her sleep. It's not like there's anything she can do. When she comes in later we'll tell her."

Leo nodded. "She's not going to take it well, is she?" he asked.

Harry didn't say anything.

*

"It was one clean shot," Harry commented, his nose mere inches from Victor Alexander's head. "Bullet went in at a 70° angle, straight through the frontal lobe, then the temporal, and out of the cerebellum. He would have died instantly. Photo please, Nigel."

"Do you think it was suicide?" Leo asked as they stepped backwards to allow the lab technician to get the shot. "I mean, for the bullet to have come out the other side the gun must have been at a pretty close range."

"No, I don't," Harry said firmly. He wasn't certain why he was so sure of that fact, but he was. "His eyes are open, for a start. Plus, with suicides the MO is usually temple to temple, not through the forehead. No, this is definitely a murder."

Leo sighed. "I just didn't want Nikki to know that her father was murdered."

"I know," Harry said. He bent down over Mr Alexander's body again. They'd been working on him for over three hours, he didn't really know what more he was expecting to find. An explanation, maybe? Harry mentally scolded himself for being stupid.

"Nikki!"

Harry's head snapped up at the sound of Leo's exclamation, but his boss was no longer looking at the body, instead he was staring over Harry's shoulder. Harry spun around to see Nikki smiling at them from the doorway. It looked as if she'd just arrived, her cheeks were tinged pink with cold.

"Good morning," she grinned, stepping into the room. "I just thought I'd come and see the case that had you both out of bed at such a ridiculous hour."

When she started walking towards them, Harry tore off his gloves and apron and said, "Nikki, wait!"

Frowning, Nikki stopped. "What?"

Harry sent a meaningful look at Leo, who subtly moved to Harry's side of the slab and stood in front of it, blocking Nikki's view of her father's head. Harry then moved forwards slightly. "Go and wait for us in the locker room, and we'll explain," he told her gently.

"Explain what?" she asked. "Harry, you're scaring me."

"Trust us, Nikki," Leo said clearly. Nikki still didn't go anywhere.

"Tell me what's going on!" she demanded. There was silence in the room as neither Harry nor Leo knew what to say. Nikki just glared at them.

"It's... it's your dad," Harry said eventually.

Nikki's brow furrowed. "What about my-" she trailed off, and Harry saw her gaze land on the slab next to him. Her eyes widened and filled with tears. "No. No, no, no..." she muttered over and over again to herself. Then she started walking towards them.

"Nikki, please!" Leo said desperately, but she ignored him. Her pace quickened to a run as she got nearer. But Harry stepped in her path and held out his arm so that Nikki ran right into it. But Harry knew it was too late when he suddenly felt her stop struggling against him and weaken in his arms. He looked down at her. She was staring at her father, her face pale and blanched. Harry knew what was going to happen before it did. Releasing her, he took a step away from Nikki as she promptly bent over with her hands on her knees and vomited on the linoleum floor.

Leo rushed over to the sink to get a cup of water and some tissues, while Harry held Nikki's hair away from her face and rubbed her back soothingly. Eventually she straightened up, and accepted the plastic cup with shaking hands. Harry put his arm around her shoulders, trying to ignore the pile of sick on the floor. He could cut open dead bodies, he could dissect livers and hearts, but vomit was the only thing he couldn't stand.

"I'm really sorry, Nikki," Leo said gently. Nikki looked up at him.

"Don't be," she said coolly. "He deserved everything he got."

Harry watched Nikki closely as she turned away from him and Leo. She took a deep breath, steadying herself. When she turned to face them again, Harry could see her eyes sparkling. He took a step towards her, but Nikki held out her hand to push him back.

"Don't," she told him firmly. "I'm fine."

"You're not fine," Leo scoffed. "Take the day off."

Nikki didn't argue, to which Harry was greatly relieved. Instead she just nodded and looked at Harry, who was attempting to follow her out of the cutting room. "I know you're worried about me, but I'm okay," she told him. "I just need some time on my own."

"Are you sure?"

"Definitely."

Harry reluctantly let Nikki go, not at all certain that it was the right decision. He watched her retreating back until she disappeared, and released a long breath.

"She just needs to think things over," Leo said comfortingly.

"That's what worries me," Harry replied grimly.

* * *

**Another chapter. Bit of a twist as well. Some of you probably saw it coming though, what with the phonecalls and him asking for money etc. I don't think the first part of this chapter is very good either, ****but there was no other way I could work the calls into the story.  
****Please review, I'm in a really crappy mood and need cheering up! :P**


	11. Love Me Like You

**Chapter 11:** Love Me Like You

Harry's head snapped up as the doors buzzed open and someone walked in, however, he sighed when he saw that it wasn't Nikki but a plain-clothed police officer. Leo came rushing out of his office.

"Professor Dalton?" the newcomer asked. Leo nodded. "I'm DI Hartfield, I'm leading the investigation into the death of Victor Alexander."

Harry studied the Detective Inspector carefully. He looked about forty, with tousled light-brown hair and a blanket of stubble across his chin.

"Nice to meet you," Leo said, shaking hands. "This is Harry Cunningham." He gestured across to where Harry was sitting. Harry nodded at Hartfield, who gave him a small smile in return.

"How's Dr Alexander doing?" he asked, which Harry thought was either very nice of him, or very nosy, seeing as he'd never met Nikki.

"I sent her home a few hours ago. She's upset, understandably," Leo said. "Which is why we need to catch who's done this."

Hartfield nodded. "That's what I'm here for."

"Come through to the layout room, and we'll give you a run-down of what we found during the post mortem."

Harry followed Leo and Hartfield wearily. He leant against the table as Leo stood in front of the interactive screens and explained to Hartfield what they'd found. However, his thoughts soon strayed to Nikki, sat at home on her own.

"Harry?"

Leo voice pulled Harry from his train of thought. "Sorry, what did you say?"

Frowning at him, Leo shot a glance at Hartfield before walking over to the younger man. "Go home," he told Harry. "Make sure Nikki's alright. I'm sure we can manage here."

Harry looked over at the DI, who gave him a reassuring nod. He turned back to Leo. "Thank you."

Leo smiled at him. "Tell Nikki we're all thinking about her," he said. Harry nodded and hastily left the room. The quicker he got home, the quicker he could make sure that Nikki was alright.

*

Harry opened his front door and was greeted with silence. Stepping into the hall and shrugging off his coat, he noticed something strange. The landline phone had been knocked – or thrown – to the floor from the small stand that it was normally on. Tutting, Harry bent down and picked it up, putting it all back together. Nikki may be upset, but there was no need for her to take it out on the phone. Luckily it didn't seem to be broken. It wasn't until he straightened up with it that he noticed the flashing red light indicating that there was a message. Frowning, he pressed play.

And suddenly it all became clear why the phone was on the floor. Harry sighed deeply and walked into the lounge, but still Nikki wasn't anywhere to be seen. "Nikki!" he called out, but there was no reply.

Finally, Harry found her in her bedroom. She was sat at the top of her bed, her knees pulled up under her chin, and she was rocking slightly. Her eyes were gazing at a spot on the wall by the wardrobe that she was constantly complaining was too small.

"Nikki?" he asked softly, tentatively stepping towards her. She didn't even acknowledge that she'd heard him. "I heard the message. I'm sorry."

"It's all my fault," she whispered, her voice croaky from lack of use.

"No, Nikki. It is _not_ your fault. It's your father's fault for getting himself into that sort of mess in the first place," he told her firmly.

"But I could have helped him. I could have saved his life," she said, still eerily calm and staring at the wall.

"No, you couldn't have," Harry told her sadly. "That message was left at 8.47 last night. Your father's estimated time of death is anytime between nine and ten. He must have died only a short while after leaving you that message. There was nothing you could have done."

A tear slipped from Nikki's eye, and Harry went and sat on the edge of the bed next to her. He tugged a tissue from the box on the bedside table and passed it to her. Nikki shifted so that she was sat with her legs underneath her, and the flow of her tears increased as Harry gently wiped her cheek with his thumb.

"I hate seeing you so upset," he told her quietly. Nikki didn't say anything, but completely took him by surprise by leaning forward and pressing her lips to his, her hands either side of his face. Harry responded for a moment, but then pulled away. He knew this wasn't what she needed.

"Nikki..." he said.

"Please," she begged, her eyes sparkling. "Please?"

She didn't wait for Harry's reply, but kissed him again. However, when Harry felt Nikki's tears on his own cheeks, he broke the kiss. Nikki didn't say anything this time, but her face crumpled. Sighing, Harry gathered her into his arms as she broke down, crying onto his shoulder. He rested his cheek on the top of her head as he climbed properly onto the bed, making sure that he didn't relinquish his hold on his girlfriend. Nikki lay her head on his chest as she sobbed, clinging to his jumper. Gently running his fingers through her hair, Harry didn't say anything. Having been in that position himself, having lost his own father, he knew that no words could make it better. Only time could heal that particular wound.

After a while Nikki's sobs decreased into sniffles, and then she fell silent apart from the odd shuddering breath. Harry had shifted so that he was sitting against the pillows with his legs stretched out in front of him and his arm around Nikki, who was now curled up against him and still bunching up his jumper with one of her fists as though she was scared to let him go.

When even more time passed – how much Harry couldn't say – he began to wonder whether Nikki had fallen asleep. However, before he could find out she looked straight up at him. With her eyes red and watery set against her pale face, Nikki looked awful.

"Could we go for a walk?" she asked him quietly, her voice surprisingly steady. "I need to get out of here; get some fresh air."

Harry nodded. "Of course."

*

Half an hour later and Harry and Nikki were walking hand in hand along the edge of the river. It was starting to get dark, but Harry wasn't sure that Nikki either knew nor cared. She wasn't saying much, but several times she opened her mouth to speak only to close it again a second later. Harry didn't push her. He knew that she would tell him whatever it was when she was ready.

"Harry?" she asked eventually, coming to a halt.

"Mmm?"

"I love you."

It was the first time either of them had actually used the 'L' word. Harry grinned and looked down at Nikki. "Well that's good," he said casually. "Because I love you too."

This time it was Nikki's turn to smile, and just to see one on her face made Harry laugh. He leant down to kiss her quickly, pressed another one to her hair, and then released her hand to place his arm around her shoulders in order to pull her closer. Nikki slipped her arm around his waist and they continued walking, only this time closer together.

"I'm sorry about your dad," Harry told her carefully. Nikki didn't say anything immediately, but chose to watch some ducks on the bank of the river.

"Have you finished the post-mortem yet?" she asked eventually.

"Near enough. We only had a bit left to do when you arrived this morning," he replied, reluctant to tell Nikki the gory details.

"I saw the bullet wound," she said quietly. "Was that definitely the cause of death?"

"Nikki..."

"Please, Harry. I need to know. I'd do that same for you. I _have_ done the same for you; with Penny."

"That's different," Harry said. "Penny was an old flame, this is your _father_ we're talking about."

"I just need you to explain to me how it happened before I can move on."

Harry locked eyes with Nikki. Her gaze never wavered, but Harry could see the plea in her eyes. Finally he gave in.

"He was found in the early hours of this morning-"

"Where?" Nikki interrupted immediately.

"In the alley at the side of a restaurant." Harry decided to leave out the details about Mr Alexander being found amongst the rubbish. "He was shot through the head at a 70° angle. It would have killed him instantly, he didn't suffer."

"Were there any other injuries? Bruises? Cuts, abrasions?" asked Nikki urgently.

"No," Harry told her.

"Did you say the angle of the bullet was 70°?"

"Yes."

"That's unusual. Wouldn't that imply that the shooter was higher up than... than my father?" she said, frowning to herself.

"It could imply that, yes," Harry agreed reluctantly.

"Or it could mean that my father was on his knees... begging for his life," Nikki added. Her voice cracked and she cleared her throat and sniffed.

"Stop thinking like that," Harry scolded. "This is why I didn't want to tell you, I knew it would only get you upset."

"I'm okay," she told him. "It was just a bit of a shock, that's all."

"Liar."

"Fine, it was a _lot _of a shock. But I'm okay, I am. It's not like we were particularly close."

Harry could tell that she was trying to convince herself as much as him, but he didn't press her. None of this could be easy for her, and Harry was actually amazed at how well she _was_ coping so far. They continued their walk along the river. Darkness had almost properly fallen by this point, and Harry felt Nikki shiver against him. Stopping for a moment, he shrugged off his jacket and passed it to her.

"But now you're going to get cold," she protested, eyeing his relatively thin jumper.

Harry shrugged. "I'll be fine."

Nikki smiled gratefully and put the garment on before leaning against Harry once again. He smiled as he leant down to press a kiss into her hair, his arm automatically going around her shoulders. Spotting a bench a bit further ahead, Harry gently steered them towards it. They both sat down, still with their arms around each other.

"Do you realise that we've actually only been dating for three days?" Nikki said suddenly. "It feels like so much longer, doesn't it?"

Harry chuckled. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Oh it's good, definitely good," she smiled. "I mean, it's two and a half days longer than we lasted last time."

"Ouch," Harry said.

"Sorry," Nikki laughed apologetically. "It wasn't meant as an insult."

"I know I might have messed things up last time," Harry told her. She tried to protest, but he ignored her and continued. "But this time it feels different. It feels right. I think last time was too early, really. We've been through a lot since then."

Nikki looked up at him and smiled. "I really love you."

Leaning down and pressing his lips to hers, Harry kissed her gently. When they broke apart he returned her smile and said, "I love you too."

* * *

**I don't like this chapter. I'm not happy with it at all, I don't know why. I've rewritten it four times, which is why it's taken so long for me to update. Sorry about that! I will try and update again sooner now.**


	12. Into The Fire

**Chapter 12:** Into The Fire

Harry would be lying if he said that he wasn't pleased to return to his apartment after his and Nikki's walk that evening. Having given Nikki his coat, he had quickly felt his body temperature drop once darkness had fully fallen. His apartment, however, was mercifully warm, and stepping through the door was like climbing into a hot bath.

Nikki followed him in somewhat gloomily. Her face was pale, but her cheeks were tinged pink with cold. As she passed Harry back his jacket, she yawned widely.

"Why don't you have an early night?" he asked her.

"I'm not tired," she protested, resembling a sulky child.

"Go to bed, Nikki. You'll realise how tired you actually are," he said firmly, and Nikki nodded in defeat. Walking over to Harry, she looped her arms around his neck and stroked the back of his head with one hand.

"Thank you for being there for me today," she said quietly. "I don't think I could have got through it without you."

Harry pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "I love you."

A sad smile graced Nikki's lips. "I love you too." She pressed her lips to his quickly and left the room. Harry sighed tiredly as he moved into his kitchen and made himself a cup of tea and a sandwich. It seemed like days ago that Leo had called him into the lab, not just that morning. It still hadn't really sunk in properly that all this had happened, that Nikki's dad was _dead_.

When Harry eventually climbed into bed a couple of hours later, he realised just how empty it was without Nikki there beside him. However, he was so tired that he could already feel his eyes drooping. The horrific events of the day finally catching up with him, Harry drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

*

There was a bang, and Harry's eyes shot open. His bedroom was still in darkness, but from the streetlight outside the window and his position on his back, he could clearly see Nikki's silhouette walking towards him and the shine of tear tracks on her cheeks. Sniffing, she approached the bed and said, "Shift over then."

Harry frowned at her, his sleepy brain struggling to keep up. Her voice was _too_ casual. He did as he was told and moved over his side of the bed more, but didn't remove his arm from Nikki's pillow, so when she climbed in next to him he put it around her, gently stroking her hair with his fingers.

He didn't ask her what was wrong; he already new. One of Nikki's arms was draped across his stomach, and the other hand was pulled up under her chin. There was another sniff, and Harry could feel her tears making a wet patch on his t-shirt where her head was laying on his chest. But he was glad that she'd chosen to seek comfort with him rather than struggling on her own.

Pressing a kiss into Nikki's hair, Harry left his cheek resting there.

"I'm sorry," she muttered quietly.

"Don't be," Harry replied, firmly but gently. Nikki just nodded against his chest and sniffed again.

Harry forced himself to stay awake, despite being exhausted. Stroking Nikki's hair, he eventually felt her breath sounds even out, and when he next looked down at her she was fast asleep. It almost bought a lump to his throat to see Nikki looking so vulnerable and - dare he say it - frightened. He guessed from the little she'd spoken about it that Nikki had particularly struggled with the death of her mother. Back then there hadn't been anyone for her to lean on - no one to help break the fall. But now he was here for her, and Harry made a mental promise to himself that nothing was going to change that.

When he was satisfied that Nikki really was properly asleep, and therefore unlikely to wake up any time soon, Harry kissed her forehead once again and leant back against the pillows, finally succumbing to the need to sleep.

*

When Harry awoke for the second time he discovered that the sun had risen, not that you could really tell. The bedroom was still gloomy and dark, and the sound of rain could be heard hammering against the window. Sighing, Harry looked down at the woman still wrapped around him. She was sleeping peacefully, her lips parted slightly and Harry's t-shirt bunched up in one of her fists. Moving would have woken her, so Harry stayed where he was. Besides, he wasn't keen to get up if he was being honest. They still had half an hour until his alarm was due to go off, so he didn't see the point in waking Nikki any earlier than he had to.

He needn't have worried though, because it was only a few minutes until he felt Nikki begin to stir. She glanced up at Harry, before seeing that he was awake and promptly flopping back down again, burying her head in his chest.

"Are you okay?" he asked her softly, running his fingers up and down her arm. It was a minute before Nikki said anything.

"If I said yes, would you believe me?" she asked dryly.

"No," Harry replied, causing Nikki to laugh humourlessly.

"I just can't get my head around it all," she muttered.

"Yeah, it was quite a shock for me too," Harry agreed. Nikki fell silent and started picking at a loose thread on the hem of Harry's top.

"I hated him, Harry." Her voice was quiet, and she wouldn't look at him as she spoke. "I really, _really_ hated him."

Harry wasn't entirely sure what to say to this, so he didn't say anything.

"But I never wanted him to die," Nikki continued. "There was this part of me – this small, minute part – that always hoped that one day I could make things right with him again. He was my dad, you know?"

"I know," Harry replied softly. "Do you want me to stay at home today?"

"No," Nikki said forcefully, surprising Harry slightly. "I need you to go to work, I need you to find out who killed my father."

"Nikki..." Harry said slowly. "You know I can't get too involved in this case. He was my girlfriend's father. It's all very well me helping with the autopsy, but I can't do much more."

"Please Harry?" Nikki pleaded. "I need someone I can trust, someone I can depend upon."

"What about Leo?"

"Well of course I trust him, but Leo's always so tied down with paperwork and admin stuff. I know you, I know how deeply you throw yourself into cases, it's what I've always admired about you. I need some closure, Harry, and I can't get that until the bastard who killed my dad is bought to justice."

Nikki looked at him imploringly. Sighing, Harry finally conceded. "Okay. I'll speak to Leo, see what I can do."

"Thank you," she smiled, reaching up to press a kiss to his cheek.

"I take it _you're_ staying at home though," he frowned.

"Yes I am. I've got stuff to sort out, funerals to organise. Not that he deserves one." Nikki's voice was laced with resentment, and Harry wondered why she was even going to the effort.

"If you don't want to give him a funeral, you don't have to," he told her carefully.

"I know. But I'm his next of kin, there isn't anybody else. I'm not going to give him a massive thing." She sighed. "I don't know, it's all such a mess, Harry."

Harry pulled Nikki closer to him, wrapping his arms around her protectively. After kissing the top of her head, he said, "You know that I'll be here to help you every step of the way. Not that you'll need my help. You're so strong, I don't know how you do it. I'd be in pieces by now."

"I've learnt from a young age how to put on a brave face, and pretend like it's all hearts and rainbows. It comes naturally," Nikki said bluntly. "It doesn't mean that I'm okay."

Harry had guessed as much, but it was still a shock to hear Nikki actually say herself that she wasn't coping as well as she was letting on.

So it was with a certain degree of reluctance that Harry left for work later that morning. Half of him wanted nothing more than to call Leo and tell him that he wasn't coming in, but Harry wasn't going to let Nikki down, not when she so needed him.

When he arrived at the lab, a harassed looking Leo rushed out of his office to greet him.

"How's Nikki?" the older man asked immediately.

"She's... bearing up," Harry said, not entirely untruthfully. "Look, Leo... Nikki's asked me to work on her father's case with you."

Leo narrowed his eyes at him, so Harry quickly added, "She just wants some answers."

There was a moments silence whilst Leo considered Harry. Eventually he said, "Okay, fine. But if I think your personal life starts affecting your judgement, I'm pulling you off the case without hesitation."

"Fine," Harry agreed hastily, just relieved that Leo said yes with so little persuasion.

"And that means no disagreeing with the DI, no branching off into your own little investigation, no rash decisions. Okay?" Leo continued sternly, but Harry knew he was just saying what had to be said.

"Yes, Leo."

This time Leo smiled at Harry. "Good," he said. "We will crack this case."

"We have to," Harry agreed. "For Nikki's sake."

Leo nodded. "Come on, Detective Inspector Hartfield should be here in about ten minutes. Let's get everything ready."

As the pair walked down to the layout room, Harry suddenly remembered something and stopped in his tracks. He ran a hand through his hair, cursing himself at how stupid he'd been not to think of it at the time.

"Harry? What is it?" Leo frowned.

"The answerphone..." Harry breathed to himself, staring into space. Snapping out of his reverie, he turned to Leo. "I have to go. I'll be back soon. There's something..."

Harry turned and practically ran back along the corridor.

"Harry!" Leo called after him, and it was evident from his voice that he was frustrated. "Where the hell are you going?"

Harry didn't reply, and was just about to disappear through the door when Leo shouted, "See, this is exactly the sort of thing I just told you _not_ to do!"

* * *

**Oh god, I don't know what the matter is with this story, but I can't seem to get any motivation lately. I'm suddenly finding this dreadfully painful to write, and I really don't know why! I've lost my mojo!!! :( Oh well, I'm sure inspiration will strike eventually.  
****Another thing that you're not going to be thrilled about is that I'm moving house tomorrow, so won't have internet access for a while. I'm not sure how long, but it could be a couple of weeks. Which is a complete and utter nightmare, but I might be able to upload more chapters at college, so don't hate me just yet! ;) **

**I really do apologise for this chapter; it's crap, I know. **


	13. Back To Black

**Chapter 13:** Back To Black

Harry took the steps in his building two at a time, and flung himself into his apartment only an hour after leaving it, surprising a startled Nikki.

"What are you doing home?" she asked him, but Harry just shook his head at her, trying to catch his breath. He marched straight over to the phone and unplugged it from the wall, gathering it in his arms.

"Harry!" Nikki protested.

"The message," Harry explained. "The message that your dad left."

A expression of dawning comprehension spread across Nikki's features.

"I need to show it to the police," he continued, softening his tone. "As evidence."

"Of – of course," Nikki stuttered. Harry wanted nothing more than to go over and comfort her, but he needed to get the message to the police and Leo. So instead he walked over to her, trailing wires along with him, and kissed Nikki's forehead.

"I have to go back, I'm sorry."

"Oh, don't be silly, Harry. I bet Leo's over the moon that you left," she said, a small smile gracing her lips. Harry chuckled.

"I'll be home as soon as I can tonight," he told her. After giving Nikki a quick smile, Harry turned to leave. However, just as he approached the front door Nikki came after him. She placed her hands either side of his face and reached up to kiss him. Harry almost dropped the phone in surprise, but still managed to respond and deepen the kiss.

When the pair broke apart, Harry released a long breath. "Wow. What was that for?"

Nikki shrugged. "You were so amazing yesterday, I wanted to say thank you."

"What, by kissing me?" Harry chortled.

Rolling her eyes, Nikki said, "No! Well, kind of... I just wanted you know that I love you more than ever right about now."

This time Harry did put down the phone, and laced one of his hands with Nikki's. With the other he gently stroked her hair that was falling across her face and tucked it behind her ear. Shaking his head slightly at her, he said, "I can't find the words. I don't know how to put just how much I love you into words."

Nikki playfully pushed at his chest. "Look at you getting soppy in your old age," she joked, but Harry could see the sparkling in her eyes. He ran his thumb across her cheek before briefly kissing her.

"Now I really do have to go," he said regretfully. Nikki nodded.

"Go then," she grinned. Harry gathered the tangled mess of wires and telephone again. Smiling at Nikki, he finally left the apartment.

*

"Where the _hell_ have you been? I'm telling you, Harry, if you pull one more stunt like that you are off this case for good! I had to give Hartfield the PM information without you!"

Harry was deeply regretting making the decision to come and see Leo in his office now. He should have let him calm down first.

"I'm sorry, Leo," he said, but his boss just glared at him. "Can I at least explain why I left?"

"I think you'd better, Harry, don't you?" Leo replied sternly. Harry had the fleeting memory of being told off at school. He thrust the phone at a bewildered Leo.

"Is this yours and Nikki's phone?"

"Yes. Mr Alexander left a message for Nikki on it the night he died," Harry told him. "I think Hartfield needs to hear it."

Leo looked slightly sheepish. "You could have told me that's where you were going, instead of just running off without a word."

"I know, I'm sorry," Harry said truthfully. He smiled at Leo. "You know me."

"Yes I do, and I'm all the worse for it," Leo grinned, and Harry knew that he was forgiven.

"Is Hartfield still here?"

Leo nodded. "He's in the layout room. We were waiting for you."

For the second time that day, Harry headed in the direction of the layout room. This time, however, he actually reached his destination. Hartfield was leaning against the table with his back to Harry, closely examining the post-mortem photos of Victor Alexander, which still made Harry grimace. Clearing his throat to alert the DI of their presence, Harry and Leo walked into the room. Hartfield turned around and held out his hand for Harry to shake.

"Dr Cunningham." He smiled, but Harry noticed the bags under his eyes. "It's good to see you again."

"Likewise," Harry replied.

"Harry thinks he may have a vital piece of evidence, Chris," Leo told the detective. Leo's use of first names, and his tone of voice, made Harry feel like he was being patronised, or humoured slightly, by the pair. Then again, maybe it was just his imagination running overtime from a combination of stress, worry, and sleep deprivation.

"The night before last – the night Mr Alexander died – he left a message on my answer machine," he told them, putting the phone on the table. Untangling the wires, Harry then walked across the room to connect the machine to a phone line.

"Why would he call you?" Hartfield asked.

"Harry is – romantically involved, with Nikki Alexander. They live together," Leo explained. "He didn't call Harry, he called his daughter."

Hartfield nodded in understanding, prompting Harry to continue. "I think the message provides a motive for Victor Alexander's murder."

Although his eyes widened, Hartfield waited patiently for Harry to start up the machine. Eventually the cool, flat voice of the female operator filled the silent room.

_"You have one saved message. Message received Wednesday 6__th__ November at 8.47pm." _There was a beep, and then Mr Alexander's raspy message played. A shiver travelled up Harry's spine as he listened to the dead man's voice and looked at the PM photos at the same time.

_"Niks, it's Dad – I really need your help, it's important. That... that man that I owe money to... well, he's turned a bit nasty. I'm in trouble, Niks, and I don't think I can get out of it very easily this time. I'm not going to ask you for money, because I know I don't deserve anything from you and you understandably said no last time. But if you change your mind, I would so very much appreciate it. If not... well... I just want you to know that I've always loved you, and don't think I've told you enough." _

A minute's silence followed Mr Alexander's words. But all Harry could feel at that current moment wasn't remorse for Victor's death, but pity and sympathy for Nikki. Hartfield was the first to say something.

"You're right, Dr Cunningham. It certainly seems as if a loan shark was after him."

"And I'd bet anything that it was the loan shark who killed him," Leo put in grimly and Harry nodded.

"But how can we find out who this guy is?" he asked the two older men. "They make themselves impossibly difficult to track down, don't they?"

"They do," Hartfield agreed regretfully. "But I'll get my team to trawl through Mr Alexander's bank account. If we examine all the payments in and out of over the last couple of years, I'm sure we'll find something." The detective pulled his mobile from his pocket and left the room to make his call.

Harry released a long breath and leant forward on the table. Leo turned and gave him a reassuring smile. "Hartfield's a good copper, Harry. We're going to get this guy."

"I just can't stand seeing Nikki so guilty. She's blaming herself, Leo," Harry said.

"Why?"

"Did you hear that message? Nikki thinks that if she'd given him the money then his death could have been prevented," Harry sighed.

"But that message was left less than hour before he died. There's no way she could have done anything," Leo replied quietly.

"That's what I told her," said Harry. "But I can't get her to listen. I've never seen her so upset, but she's not crying and screaming like I thought she would, she's just... quiet. I don't know what to say, or what to do, Leo. You know what Nikki's like."

"Not as well as you do, Harry. Which is why I can't tell you what to say," Leo said softly. "Nikki needs someone she really trusts to tell her that it's going to be okay, even if it's not. You just have to be there for her. I know it's difficult."

"You know she practically begged me to work on this case with you. Said she can't move on until she knows the truth," Harry told him, looking down at a sheet of paper on the table, but not really reading it.

"Well that's understandable," Leo said. Then after a minute he added, "How are you bearing up?"

"Me? Oh, I'm fine. It's Nikki we've got to worry about," Harry said, avoiding Leo's gaze.

"Don't give me that. It can't be easy for you, watching Nikki go through losing her father when you've been through the same thing."

Harry didn't say anything straight away, but chose to stare at his hands instead.

"Come on, Harry," Leo prompted. "You're not going to be able to talk to Nikki about this, and I know you need to talk to someone."

Still Harry remained silent, but after a minute he finally said, "It was different when my dad died. I was only young, and he killed himself."

"Maybe. But you've still lost your father, and now you're experiencing it all again only from an outsiders point of view."

"I hate it, Leo," Harry finally confessed. "She's my _girlfriend_. Nikki's the person I love the most in the whole world, but I just feel so helpless. When my dad died I didn't handle it very well at all and really struggled. I don't know how to help Nikki, when I couldn't even help myself."

Leo sighed and stepped closer to Harry, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. He opened his mouth to say something, but at that moment Hartfield stepped back into the room. Harry straightened up and cleared his throat, stepping away from Leo. The detective remained oblivious that he'd interrupted anything however, and started talking to Leo.

"My guys have found a payment going into Victor Alexander's bank account in June of £800. They tried to trace the source, but hit a dead end," he explained.

"That makes sense," Harry said thoughtfully. "He wanted £1000 when he last turned up to see Nikki, which could be the £800 loan plus interest."

"Okay then. We're going to treat the man behind this money as our prime suspect for now. Well done, Doctor Cunningham, this is the strongest lead we've got."

*

"Harry, can I have a word?" Leo asked that evening, just as Harry shrugged on his jacket to go home.

"I'm okay, Leo," Harry said firmly. "I just had a minor emotional breakdown for a minute, but I have since recovered and am now fine."

"Are you sure?" frowned Leo.

"Yes," Harry insisted. "I just want to go home and make sure Nikki's alright."

"Okay then. But my office door is always open."

"Thank you, Leo." Harry gave him a grateful smile and hastily left the lab.

When he arrived home he found Nikki curled up on the sofa, her hands clasped around a mug that was emitting a steady flow of steam. She gave him a small smile when she saw him and stood up, putting down her mug.

"Hey. How did you get on?" she asked him, but Harry just walked across the room and wrapped his arms around her tightly, resting his chin on her shoulder and breathing in the smell that was so distinctly Nikki. A small chuckle left her lips.

"Are you okay?" she asked, her tone becoming more serious when Harry didn't say anything.

"It's been a tough day," he said, not wanting to let too much on. Nikki's arms tightened around him, and she stroked his back soothingly.

"What happened?"

Harry chose not to answer this question, but still with his chin on her shoulder he said, "I love you, and I'm going to do whatever it takes to help you through this."

* * *

**So I did another chapter, although I still don't have internet at home. It's soooo annoying, I'm sure I'm getting withdrawal symptoms! :)  
****I have an idea about where to go next with this story, but it won't work until Nikki is 'over' her dad's death, not that you can ever really be over such a thing. But you know what I mean!  
****Review for me?**


	14. Someone To Love

**Chapter 14:** Someone To Love

Nikki came back from the kitchen and passed Harry a cup of tea before sitting down next to him, placing a comforting hand on his knee.

"How did it go today? Did that message help the police? Ooh, which detective is leading the case? Is it one we know?"

"What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?" Harry joked weakly, blowing steam off his mug before taking a sip.

Nikki's face fell. "That's your way of saying that you didn't make any major breakthroughs in the case, isn't it?"

"No it's not," Harry said quickly. "The DI in charge is Chris Hartfield. He appears to be a good copper; he's determined, ambitious, and ruthless. Plus, that message was really helpful, and the police have a suspect. They just can't actually identify him."

"What do you mean? Why can't they?" Nikki asked quickly. Harry sighed, so she added, "Please Harry, I need to know."

"Hartfield thinks it was a loan shark that killed your father, because he didn't pay them. They found a payment into his bank account earlier this year of £800 and hit a dead-end when trying to trace the source, so they're treating him as the prime suspect."

"I knew it would be a loan shark," Nikki told him sadly. "If only I'd given him that money..."

Harry twisted around slightly and took Nikki's hand in his. "Stop thinking like that! There was _nothing_ that you could have done."

Nikki's chin dropped onto her chest as she looked down dejectedly and shook her head slightly, causing her blonde hair to fall across her face. Harry gently took her chin in his hand and tilted her head up to look at him.

"Everything's going to be okay," he told her, remembering Leo's advice. "I know it will."

A small smile graced Nikki's lips. "You're amazing," she told him quietly.

Harry laughed softly. "I know."

Nikki grinned, before leaning forward to kiss him. Completely forgetting about his freshly-made tea, Harry responded eagerly and quickly had his hands on Nikki's waist, just as she buried her fingers in his dark hair.

They broke apart for the need to breathe, but Harry left his forehead resting against Nikki's. He looked her right in the eyes and said, "You're so beautiful."

Nikki's eyes filled with tears. "Take me to bed, Harry," she whispered, lacing her fingers through his. Smiling, Harry stood up from the sofa, pulling Nikki with him, and led them both into his bedroom.

*

A while later and Harry was just drifting off to sleep, his arms wrapped protectively around Nikki's waist and his chin on her shoulder. He was gently stroking her arm that was lying on the top of the duvet, and he thought that Nikki was already asleep. However, she suddenly mumbled, "Harry? Are you awake?"

"Mmm."

"I decided what to do about my dad," she told him quietly.

Harry opened his eyes, but because she had her back to him he couldn't really see her face. "Did you? When?"

"This morning. I'm going to get him cremated. I don't want a service, or a wake or anything. As soon as you're done with the body I'm just going to get it turned to ash, shoved in a jar, and then I'll scatter them some place where I won't ever have to think about him again."

Harry winced at Nikki's harsh choice of words. "Nikki..." he said slowly.

"But you'll be there, won't you?" she asked quietly, and Harry could hear the sudden insecurity in her voice. "At the cremation?"

Pressing a kiss to her shoulder, Harry said, "Of course I will."

"I don't think – I don't think I could do it alone." Nikki's voice cracked, and she sniffed. Harry laced his fingers through hers, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb.

"You won't be alone. I'll be there, and Leo will if you want him to," he soothed. "I'll always be here for you, Nikki. You're my world."

"That's so cheesy," she giggled, but gave his hand a squeeze.

"Shut up," he mock scolded. "Do you want me and Leo there or what?"

Nikki laughed again, but then sobered up when she remembered what they were talking about. "I do want you to. You two are my knights in shining armour, don't forget," she reminded him, and Harry could hear the smile in her voice. He chuckled softly.

"That makes me feel very macho," he joked, hoping to cheer Nikki up a bit.

It seemed to work, because she gave a small giggle and snuggled into Harry a bit more, resting her arm against his on top of the duvet.

"I'm sorry for waking you up," she told him after a minute of comfortable silence.

Harry shook his head. "I wasn't really asleep."

"Can I ask you something?"

"You just did, but I shall give you permission to ask something else," he told her, causing Nikki to tut at his sarcasm.

"How many years have we been friends?"

Harry blew out a long breath. "Well, it must be coming up to... six years now."

"That's a long time," Nikki stated.

"It is," Harry agreed, not quite sure what Nikki was getting at.

"Why did it take us six years to get to where we are now?" she asked him casually.

Harry raised his eyebrows and laughed uncertainly. Then he realised Nikki was waiting for an answer. "I don't know... I guess it was just us being together in such close proximity when you moved in. I think there was so much built-up sexual tension in this apartment that it just kind of... exploded, one day."

Nikki made a noise of assent in the back of her throat. Harry frowned at her. "Why?"

She shrugged. "I was just thinking about it."

Harry's frown deepened. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. At least, I think so," Nikki replied calmly.

Harry raised his eyebrows, but didn't say anything. He'd asked her a bit of a stupid question really. Suddenly Nikki rolled over so that she was lying on her back looking up at him. Harry propped himself up on one elbow and smiled down at her.

"You're not really alright, are you?" he said. Nikki shrugged for the second time.

"I feel better when I'm with you," she told him, smiling. Harry chuckled and poked her in the stomach.

"Now who's being cheesy?"

"You always have to ruin the moment, don't you?" she grinned, but looped her arms lazily around his neck. Harry placed one of his hands on her hip.

"You love me really," he said, smiling at her. However, Nikki's grin faded and she bit her lip uncertainly.

"What is it?" Harry asked her, not entirely satisfied with her reaction.

She looked up at him and smiled. "Nothing. I do love you."

"Good," Harry said, returning her smile. However, there was still a niggling worry in the back of his mind. Nikki obviously sensed his unease, because she started stroking his hair with her fingers and pulled his head down to press a kiss to his forehead.

"I'm sorry," she told him. "I'm just tired."

"Are you sure?"

"It's been a long day."

Harry nodded, and then sighed. "I wish I could make everything alright for you; wish I could make all this go away."

"I wish you could too," Nikki whispered, her eyes shining. Harry leant down and kissed her softly, his hand moving from her hip to lace his fingers with hers on top of the duvet. When they broke apart a while later Harry smiled down at Nikki and gently tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. He pressed another quick kiss to her forehead, and then the tip of her nose, before flopping back onto the pillow with a yawn.

"I'm sorry, am I keeping you up?" Nikki asked sarcastically.

"It is past midnight," he reminded her, pulling the duvet over them both, but putting an arm around Nikki's stomach and pulling her into him once again.

"I still can't believe it," Harry muttered, thinking aloud.

"What?"

"That I get to go to sleep with you in my arms. Only a week ago it was something I couldn't even allow myself to think about," he confessed.

"What's got into you tonight?" Nikki asked playfully. "You're not normally this sentimental."

"I know," Harry agreed. "Perhaps it was something I ate."

Nikki laughed. "Well I like this new 'in-touch-with-his-emotions' Harry. It's normally impossible trying to get you to reveal how you're really feeling."

"Er, hello? Pot, kettle, black?" he replied.

"I'm not that bad," she tutted. Harry scoffed at her.

"Okay then, tell me how you feel about your dad being dead," he said, hoping that her desire to never lose an argument would actually get her to open up.

"I've told you already, I'm fine," she said unconvincingly.

"Liar."

"I am not!"

"Nikki, it's been six years. I only have to hear the tone of your voice to know when you're lying," he told her firmly, and she sighed in defeat.

"I hate you."

"Nikki..."

"I don't know, Harry! I don't know how I'm feeling, and I don't know why you care so much!" she half-shouted. However, she released a long breath to calm herself down whilst Harry waited patiently. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"I forgive you. And the reason I care is because I love you! I hate seeing you so upset because of your father," he told her.

Nikki rolled over in his arms so that their faces were only an inch apart and gave him a small smile. "You're so sweet, and I love that you care so much. But can we just – go to sleep? Please?"

Harry grinned. "Oh thank God; I thought you were never going to ask."

Nikki chuckled and shifted closer to him, her head resting on his chest and one arm draped across his stomach. Harry reached out and flicked off the lamp, and it wasn't long before he felt his eyelids drooping.

* * *

**I know, I know! I said I would update sooner and I haven't! I really am sorry, but it's really hard to upload it at college and I still don't have internet at home. However, I have uploaded two chapters for you as my way of a peace offering!  
****Please review and let me know that you haven't lost interest in this story!  
****Love to you all! (Look at me being nice!)  
****xxxxxx**


	15. Hounds Of Love

**Chapter 15:** Hounds Of Love

Harry woke an hour before his alarm the next day and took it as a sign that he should get up and go for a run; something which he'd stopped doing as much since Nikki had been living with him. He propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at her, watching her sleep. Nikki's blonde hair was splayed over her pillow, with her lips parted slightly and one hand clenched around the top of the duvet. Harry couldn't help but smile and he pressed a soft kiss to her temple before quietly slipping out of bed, careful not to wake her.

Fifteen minutes later and Harry was just walking out of his apartment building, shivering slightly in his thin t-shirt and jogging bottoms. However, when he started to jog he soon began to warm up and it wasn't long before Harry was glad that he hadn't worn his sweatshirt as well. His feet pounded heavily on the pavement as he ran parallel to the river, his iPod playing in his ears to distract himself from the burning sensation in his leg muscles.

After about forty-five minutes of solid running Harry decided that he was too exhausted to continue and headed back, pleased that he managed to get so far having not done much exercise for a while. When he eventually let himself back into his apartment, cursing just how many stairs he had in his building, he found Nikki in the kitchen, humming to herself as started serving something from a frying pan and onto two plates. The whiff of pancakes caught in Harry's nostrils.

She heard him enter and turned around. "Good morning!" Her smile was large; too large for someone who only lost their father three days ago.

"Morning," Harry replied, still out of breath slightly. "What are you doing?"

Nikki rolled her eyes. "Cooking us breakfast, what does it look like I'm doing?"

Harry shrugged. "I just didn't expect to come back and find you so... cheerful," he admitted.

"Why shouldn't I be in a good mood? It's Friday, you've got the day off tomorrow-"

"And your dad died earlier this week." Harry interrupted.

"Please, Harry, I don't want to get into this argument again," Nikki sighed. "I'm okay. I'd tell you if I wasn't."

"No you wouldn't," Harry muttered. Nikki, seemingly determined not to have a row with him, walked over and placed her hands on his shoulders.

"Please," she asked him seriously. "Just let me handle this in my own way."

Relenting, Harry said, "Okay." He wasn't entirely confidant that Nikki was telling him the whole truth, but he knew that pushing her wasn't going to get her to admit anything. She gave him a grateful smile and it wasn't until then that she fully took in his appearance.

Eyeing him up and down, Nikki said, "What did you go running for?"

"Well, I haven't been getting much exercise lately and I thought I needed it."

"You don't need it," Nikki whispered, causing Harry to grin at her. "Besides, I could think of another form of exercise that's much more fun."

Harry raised an eyebrow, causing Nikki to giggle and place her hands on his chest. "Why don't I show you?" she asked him suggestively, and before he could answer she pressed her lips against his and kissed him. Harry, however, only responded for a second before pulling back – something which surprised him as well as Nikki.

"We can't," he told her. "I'm already going to be late for work."

"Stuff work," she laughed, grabbing his t-shirt and reeling him in for another fierce kiss. Caught by surprise, Harry stumbled backwards slightly until the back of his knees connected with the arm of the sofa and Nikki immediately deepened the kiss. But whereas normally he'd never turn down an opportunity like that one, for the second time Harry pushed Nikki off of himself.

"What is the matter with you?" she asked him, clearly frustrated by his constant rejection.

Harry knew that the pair of them ending up in bed wasn't what Nikki needed, and that she was using sex as a way of forgetting everything else that was going on in her life.

"Come on, Harry..." Nikki smiled coyly, and Harry felt her fingers slowly working their way into the waistband of his jogging bottoms. "You can't tell me that you don't want to."

She began pressing small kisses onto his cheek, and worked her way down to his neck. Harry groaned. It was becoming increasingly difficult to not succumb to Nikki's desires.

"I don't want to," he managed to tell her.

"What?" Nikki asked, looking up at him.

"I don't want to," he told her, louder and clearer this time. "You're obviously not thinking straight."

Nikki took a step back, glaring at him. "Oh yes, it's ridiculous for me to want to show my boyfriend just how much he means to me!" she exclaimed sarcastically.

"You know as well as I do that you're using sex as a way of controlling your grief," Harry told her softly.

"I am not! How can I be, I'm not grieving!" Nikki cried.

"See, you keep saying that but I know you, Nikki, and you _are_ grieving! You've just lost your father! The man who bought you up! I know when you were an adult he wasn't exactly the best dad in the world, but maybe if you'd got on better when you were a child then your later relationship wouldn't have been so fraught!" Harry said, without really thinking.

Nikki's eyes were shining as she shouted at Harry. "You want to know why I hated him as a child? It's because my mother died and he didn't!"

A stunned Harry waited as Nikki released a long breath. Her voice returned to a normal level and she continued. "I was always closer to my mum. Always. So when she died I resented my dad because he was still here and my mum wasn't. Then I felt guilty for thinking like that, so I pushed him away even further than he already was. And that was that."

"Oh Nikki, I'm really sorry," Harry said quietly, immediately regretting having a go at her. However, she still wasn't finished.

"And just for your information, I'm not using _sex_ as a way of getting over anything; I'm using _you_, Harry! I need to be close to you to feel that things might just be okay; otherwise the guilt is all-consuming! So much so that I can't even breathe! I can't _breathe_ without you, Harry, and I hate you for it!"

Nikki stopped and placed a hand over her eyes before turning away from Harry, folding her arms across her chest. Harry took a step forward and went to reach out and put his hands on her shoulders, but something stopped him. He just didn't know what to say to her.

"Just go to work," Nikki muttered wearily, still refusing to turn round and face him.

"No."

This time Nikki turned around again. "What?" she asked exasperatedly.

"I said no. I'm not leaving on an argument. Especially not an argument that's as ridiculous as this," he told her firmly, standing his ground. Nikki glared at him for a second, but then her shoulders sagged in defeat and her arms flopped to her sides.

"You never give up, do you?" she sighed.

"Not where you're concerned," he told her truthfully.

"Did you not hear me tell you that I hate you?"

"Yes. I chose to ignore it."

Harry saw the corners of Nikki's mouth twitch slightly, and he knew that their argument was over. Taking another step closer to her, Harry placed his hands on the top of her arms and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I'm sorry," he told her.

"I'm sorry too," she said with a small smile, looking up so that Harry could kiss her lips. How he wished that he could help her. He thought back to what happened to him when he lost his father.

And then it struck him; a sudden, brilliant idea. It hit with such blinding clarity that Harry wondered why he hadn't remembered it before then. He took a step back from Nikki, frowning in a contemplative way.

"What is it?" Nikki asked him.

"I know..." he breathed, running a hand through his hair. Then he realised just how crazy Nikki must think he had suddenly gone, so he added, loudly and clearly, "I know how I can help you, because it's exactly how my mother helped me!"

"And how's that exactly?" Nikki asked him sceptically.

Harry, however, wasn't really listening, but was lost in his own train of thought. "Yes!" he cried. "It's so simple, I don't know why I didn't think of it before!"

"Harry, what is it?" Nikki asked, almost laughing. Harry opened his mouth to tell her, but then closed it again, deciding that it would be better if he kept it as a surprise. Instead he just smiled at her before saying, "I'm going to shower, and then I'm going to work. I might be a little bit late home... Make sure you're in."

"Will you tell me what's going on?" Nikki asked amusedly.

Harry winked at her. "You'll just have to wait and see."

"I really do hate you! You know I don't like surprises!" she called after him as Harry walked away, but he knew she didn't mean it and just laughed.

*

Harry pulled into the car park of the dog rescue centre at about six o'clock that evening. He desperately hoped that they hadn't closed. Getting out of his car, he wrapped his scarf a bit tighter around himself and walked over to the entrance. As soon as he was inside a wash of warmth spread over him, sending a shiver up his spine.

"Can I help you, sir?" a young woman asked him who was sat behind a desk in the reception. Harry smiled and stepped towards her.

"Yes. I'd like to give a dog a good home," he told her, causing the receptionist to smile.

"Okay. If you'd like to wait here one moment, I'll go and get someone to assist you," she replied, standing up.

"Thank you."

The receptionist went off and Harry paced the small room, slightly nervous. There were posters and leaflets pinned to a corkboard on the wall, so he decided to distract himself with those. Some were giving warnings about various animal ailments, and others advertising dog foods. Just as Harry went to pick up the _'How to know if your dog is happy'_ leaflet, his mobile started ringing from his pocket. Sighing, he pulled it out.

"Hello?"

_"Harry, it's me. Where are you? Leo said you left the lab nearly an hour ago."_

Harry had known it would be Nikki. But what to tell her without directly lying?

"I won't be long, okay? About another hour or so," he said.

_"But what are you doing?" _She sounded half exasperated, half amused.

"Just trust me," he smiled. Then he spotted the receptionist entering the room again with an older woman behind her. "I've got to go, Nikki. I love you."

Without waiting for a reply from Nikki he hung up the phone and switched it off, then walked over to greet this new woman.

"Good evening, sir. I hear you're looking to get a dog?" she asked.

"I am," Harry confirmed.

"Well that's good," she smiled. "As you know, we have a great number of dogs here that need a good home. I'll just have to ask you a few questions first, if that's alright?"

"That's fine," Harry nodded.

"Great. Well, if you'd like to follow me."

She turned and held open a door behind her, letting Harry through it first. Taking a deep breath, Harry stepped forward.

*

Harry quietly led the new addition to his life up the stairs to his apartment. He'd ended up choosing a young male border terrier. Despite him being just over a year old, and therefore not a puppy anymore, he was still full of life, stopping to sniff every step. Harry laughed. He was definitely a nice-looking dog. His light brown fur was scruffy and his little ears flopped up and down as he bounded along.

Once he reached his front door, Harry stooped down to the dog's level and muttered, "Now, you're about to meet your other new owner. Her name is Nikki, and you've got to be very nice to her because she's a bit down at the moment."

The dog cocked his head to one side, looking Harry right in the eyes. Chuckling, Harry straightened up and quietly let himself into his apartment. Unclipping the dog's lead from his collar, he called out, "Nikki?"

"Oh, you're home at last then," Nikki's voice replied, and she appeared in front of him in the lounge. Harry released the dog, who went bounding over to a very shocked Nikki. Harry watched as Nikki laughed and bent down to make a fuss over him.

"Who's this then?" she asked, never taking her eyes off the dog.

"He doesn't have a name yet," Harry told her, and at the sound of Harry's voice the terrier ran back over to him. Harry smiled and scooped him up into his arms. Nikki also walked towards them.

"What on earth made you get a dog?" she exclaimed, but was smiling.

"I'll explain in a minute, I just need to run back down to the car and get all his things," Harry told her, passing the dog over. "Try and think of a name."

Nikki rolled her eyes and shook her head as Harry left his apartment once again.

It didn't take Harry long to get down to his car, but it wasn't easy getting back up the stairs with a dog bed, a huge container of food, a carrier bag of toys, a blanket, two bowls and an extendable lead. Eventually he managed it though, and when he let himself back into his apartment he smiled at the sight before him. Nikki was sat on the floor in the lounge with the dog opposite her, and she was stroking him gently.

"I'm back," Harry announced, causing the dog to raise his head, his ears pricking up. Nikki turned and smiled.

"You bought half a pet shop with you, I see." She pointed to the many things in his arms. Harry shrugged.

"He came with a lot of stuff."

"Where are we going to put him, Harry?" Nikki asked wearily.

"I was thinking in the corner over there." He took the bed over to where he meant. When he straightened up and turned around again Nikki was watching him sceptically.

"We can't just get a dog," she told him. "He'll need feeding, and walking, and time and attention that we just can't give him."

"Yes we can," Harry insisted. "We'll make time. I mean, look at him, Nikki."

They both turned to look at the dog, who had decided that Harry's sofa was the best position for him to watch his new owners talk. His big, brown eyes were wide and happy. Harry could see Nikki relenting.

"Fine," she sighed eventually. "He can stay. But I draw the line at him sleeping on our bed."

Harry smiled triumphantly. "I knew you'd give in."

Nikki rolled her eyes, but she walked over to Harry anyway. "I can't believe you sometimes."

"He's here to cheer you up," Harry told her, causing Nikki to smile before reaching up to press a quick kiss to his cheek.

"Oh, I think you do that pretty well on your own," she grinned. "Come on."

Taking him by the hand, Nikki dragged Harry over to the sofa where their new pet was sat.

"What shall we call him?" Harry asked thoughtfully.

"How about Charlie?" Nikki suggested.

"He does look like a Charlie," he agreed.

"Right then," Nikki smiled. "Charlie it is."

* * *

**Ooh, long chapter. Still don't have internet at home! :( I'm in Starbucks with my laptop taking advantage of their free wi-fi! Anyway, I thought I'd get them a dog. It makes a change, and it hasn't been done in any other Silent Witness stories!**


	16. Ask Me How I Am

**Chapter 16:** Ask Me How I am

A week passed pretty uneventfully, and all too soon the day had come of Victor Alexander's cremation. When Harry awoke he discovered Nikki already up, staring out of the window. She was shivering in her pyjamas.

"How are you doing?" he asked sympathetically. Nikki looked round, initially startled.

"I'm..." There was a pause, and eventually she said, "I don't know."

Harry nodded, unsure of what to say to her. He yawned and ran a hand over his face before forcing himself out of bed. Walking over to stand behind Nikki, he wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder. Nikki leant back into him and released a long breath.

"I'm really dreading today," she told him.

"Of course you are," Harry said. "But it's just one day. Get through today and then it will all be over."

"Yes, except it won't be. I mean, the police are no nearer to catching the guy that did it, and even if they do I'll still have to wait while it goes to court," she said angrily. Harry released her and turned her around by the shoulders to look at him.

"None of this is going to be easy," he told her. "But you can get through it. I know you can."

"I'm just so tired," Nikki sighed. "I'm tired of pretending that everything's okay when it's not."

"I know you are," Harry said softly, running his hands down her arms to lace his fingers with hers. Nikki released a wavering sigh, and Harry pulled her into a hug.

"Thank you," she mumbled into his shoulder.

Harry smiled. "You're welcome."

Nikki pulled her head back to look at him, and Harry gently brushed some hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. Giving him a tiny smile, Nikki slowly closed the gap between them until their lips connected. Harry tried to put some reassurance into the kiss, to tell Nikki that everything really was going to be okay, but the pair of them were soon interrupted by a bark from outside the door. Nikki groaned against his lips before pulling away.

"That dog really does pick his moments," she sighed.

Harry smiled. "I'll take him."

Harry and Nikki had been taking it in turns to walk Charlie before work, and then had been going again – usually together – for a longer walk once they got home.

Harry dressed quickly as Nikki decided to climb back into bed, before walking over to his bedroom door, which Charlie was now scratching at, and opening it. The terrier bounded into the room, his tail wagging furiously. He jumped onto the bed and started trying to lick Nikki's face. Nikki laughed and pushed him away, so Charlie then leaped down again and over to Harry, where he started tugging at his shoelaces.

"Get off, you mad thing," Harry laughed affectionately. He turned to Nikki. "I won't be long."

She nodded and wrapped the duvet around her a bit tighter as Harry left the room. Harry, meanwhile, was struggling to get his coat on as Charlie playfully snapped at his heels. Chuckling, he clipped the lead to the dog's collar and led the way out of his apartment.

They only went for a brief walk down along the river, just long enough for Charlie to do his business, and then they made their way back. It was so cold outside that Harry's breath rose as steam in front of him and his hands were starting to feel numb. So it was with welcome relief that he returned to the sanctity and warmth of his home once more.

Letting himself in, Harry released Charlie from the confinements of his lead and frowned when he couldn't spot Nikki anywhere. Today was going to be tough on her, he knew that, but he was helpless as to ease her pain. He knew from past experience that nothing and no one could do anything about that.

Harry eventually found Nikki in their bedroom, and to his surprise she was still curled up under the covers.

"Nikki?" he probed tentatively. "Shouldn't you be getting up? We have to be at the crematorium for ten, that's only just over two hours."

"I'm not going," she replied shortly, her voice muffled by her pillow.

"You need to go," Harry told her quietly. "You'll regret it for the rest of your life if you don't."

Nikki's head suddenly poked out from under the duvet. "I can't do it, Harry! I can't sit there and pretend to cry for him, or pretend to have loved him. It's not what he would have wanted."

Harry sighed and climbed onto the bed beside Nikki. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You may not have been very close with your father," he told her. "But he loved you, I know he did. I could see it in his eyes the first day I met him. Now you need to get up, get dressed, and come with me to that chapel so that you can say goodbye properly."

Nikki rolled over to face him, her eyes shining. "I hate it when you're right," she muttered, wiping her cheek. Harry chuckled and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Well, it doesn't happen very often, I have to make the most of it," he joked, earning a watery laugh from Nikki. Climbing onto her knees, she wrapped her arms around Harry's neck, resting her cheek on his shoulder. He rubbed her back soothingly, and just quietly hoped that she could get through what was going to be a nightmare day.

*

Fifteen minutes before they were due to leave, Nikki finally emerged from their bedroom. Harry was pacing the lounge, waiting for her anxiously. He turned when he heard her enter the room, and couldn't help admiring just how beautiful she was, despite the situation. She was wearing a black, asymmetrical, satin dress that fell just above the knee and had a large black corsage on the shoulder. In her shaking hands was a matching clutch.

"You look gorgeous," Harry muttered, walking towards her. Nikki gave him a small smile and smoothed Harry's blazer over his shoulders before straightening his black tie unnecessarily.

"Is Leo meeting us there?" she asked him nervously.

"Yes."

"It's just going to be us three there, do you realise that? And you and Leo are only coming to support me. How pathetic is that?" She laughed bitterly.

"Maybe that's for the best," Harry suggested.

"Maybe..."

Nikki lapsed into a thoughtful silence, broken only by the occasional sigh escaping her lips. Harry didn't want to say anything, purely because he didn't know what to say. Eventually he smiled at her and said, "Come on, we'd better go. We don't want to be late." Nodding sadly, Nikki followed him from their apartment.

The journey in the car was a silent one; Harry didn't think Nikki was really in the mood to have a lengthy discussion about anything. When they arrived at the crematorium they could see Leo's car already there, and he was stood by it waiting for them. As soon as Harry had parked Nikki climbed out and walked over to their boss, who embraced her in a hug. Releasing a sigh, Harry followed and the three of them made their way inside the chapel.

Harry strategically fell behind as they walked, and inconspicuously grabbed Leo's sleeve to get him to walk beside him. The pair of them waited until Nikki was sufficiently ahead of them, before Leo said, "How's she bearing up?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know. She keeps clamming up on me. All I could get out of her this morning was that she was tired. And I don't mean fatigued tired, I mean emotionally drained."

"That's understandable, Harry," Leo muttered. "You can't expect her to be okay. I'm sure she'll seek our help if she needs it. Until then you just have to let her deal with it in her own way."

"But…" Harry trailed off and released a weary sigh.

"I know it's hard," Leo said, guessing what Harry was going to say and patting his arm reassuringly.

Harry gave him a tiny smile before jogging to catch up with Nikki.

*

Two hours later and Harry and Nikki returned to their apartment, Nikki clutching onto a large marbled urn which contained the ashy remains of her father. She quickly deposited it on the sideboard, causing Harry to grimace, and then went straight into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine. Harry frowned concernedly as Nikki downed it in one and then refilled her glass. He was momentarily distracted, however, by Charlie realising that they were home and running out to meet them. After greeting the dog enthusiastically, Harry was further worried when he watched Charlie seek the same reception from Nikki, only for her to tut at him and walk away. Dejected, the dog padded back to the lounge and promptly made himself comfortable in Harry's favourite chair.

Harry, meanwhile, pulled off his tie before joining Nikki in the kitchen, where she was leaning against the worktop and staring into the depths of her wine.

"How are you feeling?" he asked her softly.

Nikki looked up at him and gave him a smile. "I'm fine."

"No you're not," Harry replied carefully, unable to return her smile.

Sighing, Nikki said, "Just leave it, Harry. I said goodbye, I can move on now."

Harry narrowed his eyes sceptically. "I wish you'd talk to me, Nikki."

Stepping closer to him, Nikki placed her hands on his chest and said, "Please drop it. I just can't deal with you interrogating me right now."

"I just want to make sure you're okay," Harry said defensively.

"Well, I am okay. So you don't have to worry," she said. Harry gave her a small smile but didn't say anything, and a minute later Nikki added, "Thank you for being there today."

"That's okay. I love you," Harry told her, leaning forward to press a kiss to her cheek. However, Nikki turned her head so that instead of her cheek he caught her lips. He knew immediately from the way she responded to the kiss what her intentions were, so pulled back and raised his eyebrows at her.

"Don't look at me like that," she muttered, her hands slowly undoing the top button of his shirt. "I know you want it, too."

It was no good; Harry was helpless to her touch. He closed the gap between them once again so that their faces were only millimetres apart, and pushed them both against the kitchen worktop causing Nikki to giggle. Despite their faces being so close, he didn't kiss her. Instead he whispered, "Why can't I say no to you?"

Nikki grinned at him. "Shut up and kiss me."

Harry captured her lips in his and wasted no time in deepening the kiss. Nikki moaned into his mouth, her fingers gripping his shoulders in a vice-like grip. Wrapping his arms around her waist, Harry pulled them both away from the worktop and staggered into the lounge. Suddenly, Nikki took him by surprise and slammed them both into the wall, still furiously kissing him. Smiling against her lips, Harry flipped them round so that he was the one in control. He then broke the kiss and rested his forehead against Nikki's, both of them breathing heavily.

"Don't stop," Nikki groaned.

"Not here," Harry mumbled, trying to catch his breath.

"Why?"

"Charlie."

Nikki looked over Harry's shoulder to see Charlie watching them, his brown eyes wide and his head cocked to one side. Laughing, she turned back to Harry and grinned at him. "Take me somewhere else then."

Smirking, Harry picked her up easily. Nikki squealed and hooped her arms around his neck before giggling and pressing small kisses along his jaw, making it incredibly difficult for Harry to concentrate on where he was going. Eventually he crashed into his bedroom door, which hit the chest of drawers behind it with enough force to make things fall to the floor. Harry continued carrying Nikki over to the bed, where he then pulled them both down onto it.

*

A while later and the pair were lying in bed, completely exhausted. Harry, however, knew that something was wrong with Nikki. She was lying on her back with her arms behind her head, staring at the ceiling, and hadn't said a word to him in ages.

Suddenly, she released a long sigh. "This isn't what I should be doing just hours after cremating my father."

"What should you be doing?" Harry asked her, not entirely happy with Nikki's slightly accusing tone of voice.

She shrugged. "Crying? Drinking?"

Harry didn't know what to say. Eventually he settled for, "Nikki, are you okay? You're acting rather strange."

For the second time, Nikki shrugged her shoulders. "What a stupid question… And yet, you always seem to be asking me it."

"I worry about you."

"Hmm… Do you realise we've only been dating for two weeks?" she asked, with what seemed like - to Harry - forced casualness.

"I know. But it's not like we were strangers beforehand," he said, trying not to outright ask why Nikki had suddenly come over so cold.

"Maybe that's the problem," she replied slowly. "Perhaps that's why this feels like a mistake…"

Harry's stomach dropped. This whole conversation was beginning to make him uneasy. There was something in Nikki's voice that he'd only heard once before: when they'd been arguing about her obnoxious boyfriend Paul. But whereas that argument had bought them together, Harry had this awful premonition that this time there wasn't going to be a happy ending.

* * *

**Hmm… Thought I'd shake things up! Add a bit of drama to the story and all that. When I finished this chapter I really didn't know where I was going to go next, and what was going to happen. It took me ages to write, but I have done it and I shall upload it in a minute!  
Oh, I hope you all had a lovely Christmas! I did, although I ate way too much, as usual!**


	17. Broken Stones

**Chapter 17:** Broken Stones

Harry climbed out of bed and started to put his clothes back on. If Nikki was going to finish with him, then he was going to put it off for as long as he possibly could.

"Where are you going?" she asked him.

"I'm not. I'm just getting dressed." Maybe Harry's voice was slightly cooler than it normally would have been, but if this was the case then Nikki didn't seem to notice.

"Does Leo want you back at work?"

"I bet you'd be glad to get rid of me, wouldn't you?" Harry snapped.

Nikki rolled her eyes, something that did nothing to improve Harry's rapidly decreasing mood. In his eyes, the fact that she didn't deny his accusation, or protest it, only provided proof that his assumptions were correct.

"Don't get like that," she sighed, when Harry pulled his jumper on with a kind of ferocity.

"What should I be like then, Nikki?" he asked loudly. "You just told me that this whole thing between us was nothing to you but a mistake! How else do you expect me to respond?"

"I didn't mean it like that!" Nikki cried, sitting up in bed. "You're probably the best thing that's ever happened to me!"

Harry scoffed. If that was true, then Nikki certainly wasn't acting as if it were so. "Why don't you just break up with me now?" he exclaimed. "Get it over and done with!"

"What? I don't want to break up with you! Just ignore me, it's the grief talking."

"Oh really?" Harry asked sceptically. "Because I thought you weren't grieving?"

"Yeah, well maybe I am!" Nikki shouted. Harry just shook his head before leaving the bedroom and walking straight into the lounge. Nikki came after him, wearing only underwear and an old t-shirt of his.

"I'm sorry, is there something wrong with me being sad that my dad has just died?" she said, her voice laced with sarcasm.

"So you're sad now, are you?" Harry asked. "I'm a little confused, Nikki; you're going to have to help me out. It's just that, only an hour ago him being dead was a relief. Twenty-four hours ago it was the best thing that ever happened to you! I don't really understand."

"I don't know how I'm feeling, Harry! That's why I can't answer when you ask me! Everything inside of me is so messed up and confused."

"Why didn't you just tell me that in the first place?" Harry said, softening slightly.

"Because my father dying gave me a whole new perspective of life, and I'm not sure what I want anymore," she replied, shaking her head sadly.

Harry's face hardened. "So you do want to break up with me?"

"I'm not sure what I want about _anything_ anymore, not just us!" Nikki cried.

Nodding grimly, Harry knew that he had to get out of the apartment and away from Nikki. He called Charlie over and clipped on his lead.

"I'm going out with the dog," he muttered, shrugging on his jacket.

A series of tuts accompanied him out, and just before he shut the door he heard Nikki shout, "That's it, Harry! Run away, just like you always do!"

The door slammed loudly as Harry viciously pulled it shut behind him, alarming Charlie slightly. He then slumped against the wall and sighed as he realised that it was all very well storming out, but at some point he was going to have to go back and face the music.

*

When darkness began to fall and Harry's stomach started rumbling, he knew that he couldn't put off returning home any longer. He'd been out with Charlie long enough, and it was time to try and fix things with Nikki before they escalated even further out of control.

His apartment was quiet, and for one fleeting, terrifying moment, Harry thought that Nikki had just packed her stuff and left him. However, when he emerged into the lounge he spotted her sat at the small desk in the corner. She was picking at the sleeve of her jumper, but looked up when he entered. There was an awkward silence, which Harry tried to ignore by taking off his coat and then Charlie's lead.

"There's some pasta bake in the oven if you want it," Nikki suddenly said. "Be careful though, the plate will be hot."

"Thanks," Harry replied stiffly. But he didn't want to eat. Then again, talking didn't seem very appealing either. He sunk onto the sofa with a weary groan, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. A second later he felt pressure next to him, and realised that Nikki must have sat there.

Removing his head from his hands, Harry looked at her and said, "I think we need to talk."

Nikki nodded. "I know we do. We really do. But not tonight."

"What? Why?"

"I'm exhausted," she told him emotionally. "I'm so tired I can barely hold myself up. Today has been the longest day… I just can't have this conversation with you tonight, Harry. I can't deal with it right now, I can't!"

She was almost shouting at the end, so Harry sighed and placed a hand on her knee. "It's okay," he soothed. "We'll talk tomorrow."

"Really? You mean that?"

"Yeah," Harry said, trying to give her a smile. "You've had a tough day, I understand."

Nikki gave a relieved sigh. "Thank you."

The awkward silence fell again, until Nikki said, "I'm going to have an early night." She stood up from the sofa. "Goodnight."

Harry nodded. "'Night."

As soon as Nikki had left the room he released a long breath and sank back into the cushions.

*

When Harry took himself off to bed a few hours later, he was surprised to see that Nikki was in there, curled up under the duvet with the lights off. He'd assumed, what with their argument, that she would rather sleep in her own room. He supposed it was just habit.

Harry climbed into bed, making sure to keep his distance from Nikki. Despite her eyes being firmly closed, Harry could tell that she wasn't actually asleep by the pattern of her breathing. So much for her being exhausted. He rolled over so that he had his back to her and just stared out into his dark bedroom. Sleeping seemed like an impossible task; his head was buzzing with thoughts about what he and Nikki were going to talk about the next day. Was she going to break up with him? If so, then why?

With a sigh, Harry turned onto his back, but the ceiling was no more interesting than the walls. Beside him he could hear Nikki sniffling, and guessed that she might be crying. But Harry wasn't self-centred enough to think that it was over him. She had just cremated her father that morning, after all. He should really make sure she was alright. In spite of their earlier argument, he still loved her. He always would. Mind you, she did have a go at him earlier that very day for asking her if she was okay.

"The way I look at it," he said, his voice sounding almost too loud in the silent bedroom. "Is that we have two options. We could either keep feigning sleep and I could pretend that I can't hear you crying; or we could just act like the responsible grown-ups that we are and talk. Which would you prefer?"

There was a moment's silence, before Nikki suddenly got out of bed. "Neither," she said bluntly. She grabbed her mobile phone and book from her bedside table before storming from the room.

Harry sighed. "Now who's the one running away?" he called after her, just as he heard Nikki's bedroom door snap shut from the other side of the hall. Harry rolled over angrily. Every particle in his body was dreading the morning.

Following a restless night's sleep, Harry awoke to the sound of rain hammering on the window, occasionally accompanied by a heavy rumble of thunder. This did nothing to raise his spirits. He could hear noises coming from the lounge and presumed that Nikki was up, despite it only being half six. Harry guessed that she couldn't sleep either. With a long sigh he ran a hand over his face. The longer he put off getting up and trying to make conversation with her, the harder it would be.

He climbed out of bed and hastily dressed, too distracted to shower. Thoughts and questions were chasing each other around his head, each one sounding more and more ridiculous. He had no idea what to say to her. How was he supposed to start? They were just going to end up arguing again, he could feel it.

When he entered the lounge Nikki was curled up at one end of the sofa, clasping a steaming mug in her hands. She put it down when she spotted him, and Harry noticed that she, too, was fully dressed.

"What happened to us?" he asked her abruptly.

Nikki shrugged, her eyes sparkling. "I don't know."

"You won't let me in, Nikki. How can I know how you're feeling if you don't talk to me?"

"I do talk to you!" she protested, but Harry shook his head.

"Not like you used to. It used to be that I was the only one you could talk to."

"It's all this business with my dad, it's just… it's thrown me a little," Nikki told him.

"No it's not," Harry rebuked. "That's just a good excuse for you to use when you can't be bothered with _us_ anymore."

"That is not true!" Nikki exclaimed, getting to her feet.

"Yes it is! You've been continually uncertain about us from the very beginning. I think I've always known it deep down. You were reluctant right from the start! I had to persuade you to even enter into a relationship with me. What was it that kept you here, Nikki? Did I actually mean something to you, or was it just about the sex?" Harry spat.

"Of course it wasn't just about that!" Nikki protested. "I love you!"

"You haven't said those three words to me for over a week! What am I supposed to think when I tell you that I love you and all I get in response is a kiss, if I'm lucky?"

"I'm not good at showing my emotions," she said, somewhat pathetically.

Harry scoffed at her. "Rubbish!"

"It is _not_ rubbish! I've never done this before, Harry!" Nikki shouted. "I've never entered into a long-term relationship, especially not with my best friend. It's all new for me!"

"What do you mean 'especially not with my best friend'?" he asked her shrewdly. "Why does the fact that we were friends make this any different?"

"If you were a stranger that I'd only just met, then I'd have dumped you by now," she told him, causing Harry's throat to constrict painfully. "But you're not, you're Harry. You're the single most important person in my life, and I don't want to hurt you! I would do anything not to hurt you."

"So, basically you're just staying in this relationship out of obligation because you don't want to hurt my feelings?" he asked her, hurt and disbelieving.

"No!" Nikki cried. "Well, kind of… What I meant was that I _want_ this to work between us! I want it so much that it hurts, I always have done. I know that we have the potential to be great together, Harry. I have lain there in bed, night after night, telling myself that I'll wake up in the morning and I'll have fallen in love with you all over again."

"So now you're saying that you've fallen _out_ of love with me," Harry said. He could see where this was going now, and he didn't like it one little bit.

"No." She shook her head. "Not really. I do love you. I always have and I always will."

"As a friend," Harry said. It wasn't a question.

Nikki didn't answer. She was properly crying now, tears were falling thick and fast down her cheeks.

"It must have been really great for you," Harry said quietly.

"What must?"

"Going out with me. I mean, we were still close friends and in that respect nothing had changed, yet then you got to start using me for sex as well. No more nights out on the pull for you anymore, you had me right here. Poor, oblivious Harry, who was falling so head-over-heels in love with you that he didn't even spot that you didn't love him back."

"Harry, don't get like this, please," Nikki begged, but Harry was having none of it.

"I actually thought that we had a future together," he muttered, shaking his head. "It only took you two weeks to get bored and finish with me."

"I am not finishing with you!" Nikki yelled. "And will you stop insinuating that I am some sort of common tart!"

"Stop acting like one then!" Harry shouted back, immediately knowing that he'd crossed the line. There was no going back now. This was it, the beginning of the end.

"How bloody dare you!" Nikki hissed. "You cannot call me a tart when you'll sleep with whoever comes along, particularly if that someone is blonde and too stupid to know any better!"

"Oh, are you including yourself in that?" Harry said, somewhat childishly.

"You are so pathetic, Harry, I don't know how I didn't spot it before!"

"Is that the best you can come up with?" Harry mocked. "That I'm pathetic?"

"I hate you," Nikki spat, and it was said with so much venom, so much meaning, that Harry actually felt his heart break a little.

"Well that's good, because I hate you too!" he yelled, trying to fight the lump that was rising in his throat.

"Fine by me!" she replied coldly.

Harry had to get out of there. He couldn't look at Nikki anymore. His whole world had suddenly spun upside-down, and he had no idea how to right it again. He grabbed his coat and marched over to the door.

"Now where are you going?" Nikki called after him. "No, let me guess; you're running away. Again!"

"I cannot look at you right now!" Harry shouted over his shoulder. "When I look at you I feel nauseous."

Without waiting for a reply from Nikki he slammed out of his apartment.

* * *

**Duh duh duuuuuh! Oh deary me, it would appear that maybe this is the end for Harry and Nikki. At least, for the moment ;) The next chapter won't be uploaded until January 4th, I'm afraid. Which is when I finally get internet at home again!  
Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all! I truly hope that 2010 is a great year for everyone, and I just wanted to take this oppurtunity to say thank you to every single person who has ever read and/or reviewed my stories. Thank you so much! **

**Blimey, I don't know why I've suddenly come over all sentimental! It must be the coffee fumes here in Starbucks! ;)**


	18. Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

**Chapter 18:** Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

When Harry left his apartment building and was met with a face-full of harsh rain, he realised that he hadn't quite thought the whole 'storming out' thing through. His car keys were back inside on the small table in the hall, and it was only seven in the morning. He released a long breath through his nose. Where the hell could he go at this time in the morning?

Everything had fallen apart. His whole world had come crashing down around him. His feet started to walk, treading a route that his car had taken many a time. But Harry wasn't bothered with where they were choosing to take him, he wasn't bothered about the rain which had already soaked him right through, or the cold which had chilled his bones. His head ached; it was filled with so much resentment and anger and, most of all, grief. Because he knew that not only had he probably lost the love of his life, but his best friend too.

Eventually Harry actually looked up to take in his surroundings, and instantly recognised the bottom of Leo's road. What he was hoping to achieve by turning up at Leo's, who had probably already left for work anyway, he didn't know, but Harry just needed a friendly face. And somewhere to dry off.

It didn't take Leo long to answer the door, and as Harry suspected he looked like he was on his way out. He also looked very surprised to find a sodden Harry on his doorstep.

"Harry?" he frowned. "Look at you, you're soaking! What are you doing here?"

"I don't really know," Harry muttered. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Couldn't it have waited half an hour? When were both at work?"

"No."

Leo sighed. "You'd better come in then." He stepped back to let Harry in, but held out a hand to stop him going any further than the doormat. "You're dripping," he stated. "Stay there, I'll get you a towel."

As Leo disappeared upstairs, Harry peeled off his soggy jacket and carefully hung it on an empty coat hook. He shivered in his damp jumper, and water was still trickling down his face from his wet hair. Suddenly, a towel was thrust at him.

"Dry yourself off," Leo ordered. Then he looked at Harry properly and frowned concernedly. "What's wrong? Are you crying?"

Harry rubbed his face with the towel roughly. "No," he lied.

"Harry," Leo said, using his reasoning voice.

Slowly, Harry let the towel fall limply to his side. "I think me and Nikki are over," he said quietly. Leo's eyebrows rose so high they were in danger of disappearing into his slowly greying hair.

"_What?"_

Harry just nodded sadly.

"Come on, let's go through," Leo said sympathetically, leading the way into his lounge. "I'll get you something to drink."

"Scotch?" Harry asked hopefully.

"Harry, it's only just gone eight."

"Do I look like I care?"

Leo tutted. "Sit down and tell me what's happened. I'm sure it's nothing that can't be fixed."

"Oh it is," Harry groaned, sinking onto the sofa. "And where's my scotch?"

Leo just threw him a disapproving glare before saying, "Yesterday you were fine. How on earth have you gone from being fine to being over in less that twenty-four hours?"

"We haven't been 'fine' for a long time, Leo. I just chose to ignore it. Nikki's a closed book. She won't talk to me, she won't tell me how she's really feeling. Everything just sort of came to a head yesterday afternoon. We argued, and then we argued again this morning, and I just ran away from it all."

"But you both seemed-"

"Don't you dare say fine."

Leo gave him a reluctant smile. "You both seemed so happy."

"I was. I really was. Nikki obviously wasn't," Harry told him grimly.

"Oh Harry, I'm sure that's not true. She's just lost her father, you can't blame her for being upset," Leo reasoned.

"Well, I thought it was that too at first. But she practically admitted it to me that it wasn't. She doesn't love me like I love her. In her eyes I'm nothing more than just another man in a long line that she's steadily working her way along."

"Don't be spiteful," Leo warned him reproachfully. "It was just an argument. Couples have arguments all the time. You can work this out, I know you can."

"No we can't, Leo! It wasn't just an argument. We're over. And I'm glad."

"You don't mean that."

"Yes I do," Harry said venomously. "I might actually get some peace and quiet now. I can get my life back."

"Right, here's what you're going to do," Leo said firmly, ignoring Harry's last comment. "I'm going to give you a lift to work with me and you're going to do paperwork all day-"

"That's not fair!"

"You not in the right frame of mind to focus on anything, you know that. Plus, you obviously don't have your car with you. So you're going to spend the day at your desk, think things through, and then when you finish you can go home and talk with Nikki. Calmly."

With a resigned sigh, Harry nodded. He hated it when Leo was right.

"Do you want to borrow a jumper? You look like a drowned rat," Leo said.

Harry gave him a tiny smile. "I've got a spare change of clothes in my locker at the lab. But thanks."

Leo patted him on the shoulder. "Come on then, let's go."

*

Harry was bored. His job was boring; his entire _life_ seemed boring, when all he had to do was paperwork. The trouble with boredom is that it allows the mind the essential few moments it needs to just relax and dwell on the more important things in life. And the more important things in life are generally those that nobody wants to think about. Like paying the bills, or work, or relationships. In particular relationships.

Harry ran a hand through his hair as his thoughts strayed to Nikki. It was late November, less than one month until Christmas. He'd had plans. Amazing, spectacular, Christmas plans. Although Harry usually spent at least Christmas dinner with Nikki and Leo anyway, this year it was going to have been different. He would have cooked the whole thing himself, despite the fact that he can't cook, and all three of them would have had a fantastic day. That certainly wasn't going to happen now.

Movement in the corner of Harry's eye caught his attention. Leo had just arrived back from a scene and seemed to be trying to get into his office as quickly as possible, whilst talking in a hushed voice to someone on his mobile phone. Harry caught his name being used, and suddenly the whispers all made sense. He watched as the older man firmly shut his office door behind him before leaning against the edge of his desk, every now and again agreeing to whatever Nikki was saying on the other end of the line with a sympathetic nod. There didn't seem to be much talking going on Leo's end, and Harry couldn't help but smile slightly as he visualised Nikki having one of her rants. His face became grim once more though, when it seemed as if Leo had given in to something, and shortly after hung up the phone. Nikki had obviously called him with the intention of wanting something, and had got what she wanted, but Harry couldn't think what it could be.

Turning back to his computer, Harry tried to put the subject from his mind. Nikki wasn't his problem anymore, after all. It was no longer his job to make sure that she was okay. Not that she would ever talk to him anyway.

*

For the first time in his life, Harry was dreading when the time came for him to go home. It was going to be so awkward between him and Nikki, returning to that didn't seem like a very appealing prospect. How could they live together in such a confined space with the current tension between them? It was going to be nightmarish. He was going to talk to her though, try and sort through things. Everything always seemed so pointless when Nikki wasn't around.

So it was with a high degree of reluctance that Harry let himself into his apartment that night. He expected another argument, a frosty forced conversation, or at least an awkward silence; what he didn't anticipate was just... stillness. Nikki obviously wasn't at home, and Harry couldn't help but feel a certain amount of relief. At least he could think about what he was going to say before she returned.

He shrugged off his jacket and walked through to the lounge, but what he saw next made him feel physically sick. Sat on the coffee table, propped up against a vase of flowers, was an envelope with his name written on the front. Harry recognised Nikki's handwriting immediately. With shaking hands he picked it up and slowly tore it open.

_Harry,  
__I've gone to stay at Leo's for a while. Please don't come round and try and persuade me to change my mind, it won't work. I think it's for the best that we get some space from each other.  
__I really am sorry that things have turned out this way. It's not what I wanted, I promise you.  
__Nikki  
__P.S. Tell Charlie that I'm sorry as well. I know he's a dog and doesn't understand, but he was our dog and for that reason I'll always love him._

The first thing Harry did was go straight into Nikki's bedroom. He wouldn't believe it until he'd actually seen it for himself. But her wardrobe was empty, Nikki had taken everything. Still refusing to accept that she'd left him, Harry entered his own bedroom. All the little things that Nikki had invaded with, a vase of flowers, her makeup, her trashy books that Harry always mocked; they'd all gone. Even the smell of her perfume was beginning to seep away.

Now in a state of shock, Harry went back into the lounge and sunk down onto the sofa, his eyes brimming with tears. At least now he knew what that phone call with Leo was about earlier. He let out a small sob and felt a gentle nudge against his arm. Looking to his right, he saw Charlie watching him, his big brown eyes full of concern. Harry patted him on the head before putting his own head in his hands, pressing his palms to his eyes to prevent the tears that were threatening to fall.

A knock at the door interrupted his self-pitying, and Harry looked up, hopeful. Maybe Nikki had realised that she'd made the wrong decision and come back to him. Running across the room, Harry flung the door open. But it was Leo that was stood there, not Nikki. Feeling a fresh wave of misery wash over himself, Harry stepped back to let the older man in.

"She's gone, Leo," he murmured. "She's actually left me."

Leo placed a comforting hand on Harry's shoulder. "I know."

"What will I do? I can't... She can't... Charlie will miss her, and I... She can't," Harry babbled as his boss guided him over to the sofa and sat him down on it. He then disappeared for a moment, but soon came back with a glass of scotch that he passed to Harry.

"Here you go," Leo said. "At least it's a decent hour this time."

Harry downed the drink in one, wincing slightly as it burnt his throat. He wasn't really aware of his surroundings anymore. It was like time had sped up around him, and he was stood there watching it fly by without being able to do anything about it. Nikki had left him. She'd moved out, forbade him to see her even when he desperately wanted to. Maybe if he could persuade her that they could still work then she'd come back. But talking to her was going to be the impossible thing. She still had three days left off work from her compassionate leave, and by then too much time will have passed. It was going to be horrible.

"So this is Charlie, is it?" Leo asked, and Harry dragged himself back to the present. Leo had sat next to him, and the dog had bounded onto this newcomer's lap, wagging his tail excitedly. Laughing, Leo added, "He's not exactly shy, is he?"

Harry didn't say anything. It all seemed so trivial now. He just watched absentmindedly as Leo played with Charlie, who he'd heard a lot about but hadn't actually seen. His boss's cheerfulness was beginning to annoy Harry, so he got up and poured himself another glass of scotch. When he sat back down, Leo kindly shooed Charlie away before turning to the younger man.

"Don't give me that look," Harry muttered.

"What look?"

"The 'you bought it upon yourself' look," he replied mutinously.

"I wasn't," Leo protested, shaking his head. "If it's any consolation I think Nikki's making a huge mistake. I've already given her a talking to."

"So she's staying with you then?" Harry asked, feeling marginally better by Leo's words.

"Yes."

"Why didn't you just say no?"

"I tried. But I could hardly have turned her out on the streets and she was dead-set on leaving," Leo told him bluntly and then added, "Sorry. I didn't think."

Harry shook his head. "It's fine. At least I know she's not in some dodgy hotel or something."

"No. Although she might change her mind about my house when she sees my attempt to cook dinner later," Leo joked feebly. It made Harry smile though. "See, that's more like it," the older man grinned. "I know it feels like your whole world has come crashing down around your feet, but that won't last forever. There are plenty more fish in the sea, after all."

"Don't try and make me feel better with some crap cliché, Leo. There's no one else for me but Nikki, you know that."

"I've _always_ known that, Harry," Leo said. "You're made for each other."

"Well, obviously we're not, or she'd still be here and we wouldn't be having this conversation," Harry snapped, fighting the lump in his throat. "Everyone always says to keep your work and your personal life separate. I just never thought I'd meet my personal life at work."

Leo sighed sympathetically. "You just had bad timing, what with Victor Alexander dying and you initially getting together when she was seeing someone else-"

"_Because_ she was seeing someone else," Harry corrected.

"Fine, because she was seeing someone else, which plunged Nikki into a whole vat of confusion to start with. I mean, does she get rid of him for you, who she has always liked but doesn't know if she can trust; or does she pretend that nothing happened between you and her and continue dating him, someone she may not feel the same way about, but who can prevent her feeling the vulnerability that she feels when she's with you."

"Vulnerability?" Harry frowned.

"You know her better than anyone, and that scares her, I think. She can't put on an act, or a brave face, around you because she knows that you'll see right through her," Leo said.

"Since when did you become an expert on Nikki's feelings?" Harry asked sceptically.

"Just because I was born in a different decade to the pair of you, does not mean that I am ignorant to the way a woman's mind works. I was married for twelve years. You pick stuff up."

Harry snorted and Leo smiled. "I'd better get back," he said, standing up. Harry stood with him.

"Thank you for coming round, Leo. I really do appreciate it."

"Yeah, well. You and Nikki are the closest thing I've got to a family now. Someone has to sort you both out."

Harry let out a watery chuckle. Leo grinned and added, "I honestly do think that Nikki's made the wrong decision. I'm on your side here, Harry."

"Blimey. You're actually not moaning at me; or disagreeing with me," Harry said. "If I wasn't so depressed it would be funny."

Leo clapped him on the shoulder. "Don't drink too much tonight and come in with a hangover tomorrow. You're so miserable when you're hungover."

"I'll be miserable anyway, does it really matter whether I have a headache to go with it?"

Leo didn't say anything, just threw Harry a disapproving look.

"Leo?" Harry asked suddenly, just as they reached the front door. "Can you please tell Nikki that... that we're really going to miss her."

"We?" Leo quizzed.

"Me and the dog," he told him, causing Leo to smile.

"Of course I will. I'll see you in the morning."

As soon as he was gone, Harry resumed his position on the sofa, but this time with the bottle of scotch to keep him company. How could this have happened? In less than twenty-four hours he had gone from having everything he'd ever wanted, to having nothing but a dog to keep him company.

There was something different about Charlie, too. The dog obviously wasn't stupid. He knew that something had happened, and that Harry was upset. Also, he kept sitting by the front door, waiting for Nikki to wander through any minute. Part of Harry waited with him, even though he knew it was a waste of time. She wasn't coming back now.

As Harry sat on his sofa, getting steadily more intoxicated as the minutes passed, he realised what an idiot he was. How could he have been so foolish as to let Nikki slip through his fingers like that? After all that time it took for them to actually work out their feelings for one another. Sighing greatly, Harry put down his glass a little too hard, sloshing the brown liquid onto his coffee table. Not bothering to clear it up, he unsteadily got to his feet and staggered into his bedroom. Charlie was now following him like an irritating shadow, but when Harry actually fell into bed he found that having the terrier there was actually quite comforting. Especially when he tugged out something bulky from under the duvet – only to discover that it was Nikki's pyjama top.

Holding it to his face, Harry breathed in the smell that was so distinctly Nikki. Tears sprang to his eyes when he realised that, from now on, a scrap of clothing was the closest he was going to get to the real thing.

* * *

**Very long chapter. I got a bit carried away, it would seem. So many of you in the reviews all said to make them get back together quickly, but I don't see that happening for a while, I'm afraid. Although, I have planned a reunion _if_ I was to make them reunite. ;)  
****Oh, thank you sooo much for all the reviews I've been getting! I really honestly do appreciate them, each one makes me smile :D **

**xxx**


	19. Whatever Gets You Through Today

**Chapter 19**: Whatever Gets You Through Today

Harry moaned as his brain stirred into life, unceremoniously pulling him back from the blissful serenity that was sleep. He wasn't surprised to discover that for the third time in as many days he had once again fallen unconscious on top of the covers fully clothed. The unpleasant bitter tang of the previous night's self-pitying drinking session lingered in his mouth, causing Harry to grimace. Sitting up and rubbing his stiff neck, he groaned when his head started to pound in his skull and the levels of nausea in his stomach increased somewhat considerably.

This had to stop. This whole wallowing in self-remorse and misery thing that he had been doing for the last three nights; since Nikki had left him. He knew that it had to stop, but there's a difference between knowing something should happen and actually making it happen. The latter would require strength and self-esteem, two things that he was severely lacking at that moment in time.

Ten minutes passed before Harry finally forced himself into the shower, trying to wake himself up a bit more with the cool water that was running over his body. He grabbed the shower gel from the shelf in front of him, his fingers brushing against the bottle of shampoo that Nikki had left behind and he wouldn't remove.

When Harry emerged fully dressed and semi-conscious into his kitchen half an hour later, he went straight to his coffee machine and made himself a strong black one. As he waited for the machine to kick into action he leant forward and pressed his forehead against the cool cupboard door. His brain felt fuzzy, he was having difficulty finding any clarity. He supposed that was what getting completely plastered three nights in a row did to someone.

It was nearly time to go to work. The sick feeling in the pit of his stomach returned, but Harry knew that it had nothing to do with alcohol consumption. Just then Charlie came bounding into the kitchen and started jumping up at Harry's legs, pleased to see him. Releasing a sigh, Harry sank down until he was sat on the floor, leaning back against the fridge door. Charlie immediately lay next to him, his head cocked to one side looking at his melancholic owner. Harry ran a hand through the dog's fur.

"I'm sorry, Charlie," he muttered, feeling an inexplicable lump form in his throat. "I know I've been neglecting you a bit lately."

Charlie didn't seem too upset with Harry; in fact, he was more preoccupied with using his nose to nudge the cupboard door that contained his food. Harry couldn't help but smile and climbed to his feet.

As he poured some foul-smelling biscuits into the dog bowl, Harry wondered how Nikki's absence was affecting Charlie. In terms of behaviour, he wasn't really any different. Chewing inappropriate things and peeing in inappropriate places came naturally to Charlie. But there was something not right. The front door had become a permanent object of the dog's attention, with him staring at it most nights. Harry would often come home to find him curled up on Nikki's bed, as well. He knew it was because it still smelt like Nikki. It was for that reason that Harry hadn't attempted to change the bed or clear out her remaining belongings yet. He just didn't think he could bear it.

He downed his coffee in one go, wincing as it burnt its way down his throat. Hoping the caffeine would kick in quickly, Harry gathered his things and left his apartment.

Arriving at work slightly earlier than normal, he walked straight over to his desk, not in the mood to engage in conversation with Leo who had just walked into the room. Harry's attitude didn't deter Leo, though, who said, "Harry, can I have a word?"

"No," Harry said bluntly, looking down at his desk. Leo sighed and walked over.

"You're hungover. Again," the older man said. It wasn't a question.

"Yes."

"You can't keep doing this to yourself, Harry. I know that Nikki's coming back to work today and that may not seem like a very appealing prospect right now, but you can't keep destroying your body and – dare I say it – your sanity. It's not healthy. You look awful. Why don't, when you go home tonight, you just have a cup of tea and an early night?" Leo suggested, and Harry could hear the condescending tone to his voice.

"Just shut up, Leo. I don't need a lecture on how to behave in my own home," he snapped.

Leo's face hardened. "When what you do in your own home starts affecting how you work, then it's time someone gave you a lecture. You're a mess, Harry. Sort yourself out, and soon, or I'll be forced to suspend you until you do."

Harry glared at his boss, but didn't argue with him. He needed this job, it was the only thing that kept him going.

"Oh, and you might be interested to know," Leo continued coolly, "that Hartfield has a suspect for Victor Alexander's murder. Jermaine Wallace, his name is, but the police haven't got any evidence yet so they can't charge him. I mean, it is still your case after all, even though I've been doing the lion's share of the work lately. Nikki did beg you to take it on, didn't she?"

He raised his eyebrows slightly at Harry, who didn't say anything. Just another thing he'd let Nikki down on. Getting frustrated with his boss watching him, Harry said, "Go and tell someone who cares, Leo."

With a tut and a sigh, Leo threw Harry a disapproving look before walking away.

Harry leant back in his chair and ran his hands over his face. That was mean; he knew that was mean and out of order. The stupid part of himself blamed the hangover. The other part knew that it was because Leo had touched a nerve. Since he and Nikki had split, Harry hadn't so much as looked at the Victor Alexander case-file. He hadn't wanted to, as simple as that.

Just then the doors buzzed and Nikki walked in. Harry stiffened, but she gave no indication that she could see him as she walked straight to Leo's office, where he met her in the doorway.

"You're back," their boss smiled.

Nikki grinned. "I'm back."

Harry frowned as the two embraced in a quick hug. Didn't he at least deserve a 'hello'? Since when had common courtesy been a weak point of Nikki's?

But his former girlfriend continued to act as though Harry wasn't even there, even when she was sat at her desk right opposite him. Harry wasn't going to break the silence; he had more pride than that.

"So what, I'm invisible now?" he snapped suddenly. Nikki looked up, although she couldn't hold his gaze.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, shaking her head.

"I don't want your apologies, Nikki," Harry replied shortly, pushing himself up from his chair. He should never have said anything. Why was he such an _idiot_?

"How's Charlie?" she asked meekly, just as Harry was about to leave the room. He turned around slowly. Nikki was looking at him nervously. How could she have the audacity to ask him that when it was _her_ who had upset Charlie in the first place?

"Like you even care," he spat, before storming off. He was so angry. Angry at himself, at Nikki, even at Leo. He wished he could block it out and move on, but how could he when he still had to see Nikki every day? He couldn't move from what they'd had. As short as it had lasted, it had been the happiest fortnight of his life. If only he hadn't been so conceited and could have seen that she didn't love him like he loved her. At least then he could have stopped the whole relationship before he got too involved. Before things got messy.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed Harry's arm and Leo dragged him into his office. Forcing Harry into the chair opposite his desk, the older man shut the door and frowned at Harry, his arms folded across his chest.

"You are unbelievable, you know that?" he said sharply.

Harry shrugged, determined not to show Leo that he did care really.

"You have to stop beating yourself up like this!" Leo cried, sitting on the edge of his desk. "You need to talk to someone, and that someone is going to be me, whether you like it or not."

"But I was so horrible to you," Harry muttered.

"Yeah, well..." Leo sighed. "You're upset, you're allowed to have a short fuse at the moment."

Harry sighed. Maybe talking to someone would help. But why did Leo _always_ have to be right?

"I hate her, Leo," he confessed. "I hate her for leaving me, and for abandoning Charlie, and for not loving me back. But at the same time I love her with all my heart, and I just don't know what to do without her. And then I hate _myself_ for feeling like that, when I should really be getting over her!"

Leo released a long breath. "Wow. You really are a mess."

"Not helping, Leo," Harry replied.

"Sorry. Look, things may seem to be spiralling out of control right now, but you just need to find some perspective. Nikki may be gone, and it may be ripping you apart inside, but you won't feel like that forever. Go and drink, if you must, or even have a couple of pointless one night stands; just do whatever it takes you to get over her."

"I can't get over her, Leo. How do you get over the person who makes you who you are?" Harry asked softly. Leo sighed and placed a comforting hand on the younger man's shoulder.

"I know that you're hurting," he said quietly. "I know that sometimes it hurts so much that you just want to make everything stop. You drink to numb that pain and you have a go at me because you think it will stop yourself feeling so guilty, when really it just makes you feel worse. I _know,_ Harry, because I've been there myself. It won't always be this bad, I promise."

"I just have to get over her?" Harry asked sceptically, certain that that was easier said than done. Leo nodded.

"Do whatever it takes."

"What if I can't?"

"You have to," Leo said forcefully. "If there's no chance of her coming back to you then you have to find some closure. You're going to kill yourself otherwise."

Harry sat for a moment, lost in thought. Then he looked up at Leo.

"Leo, I'm sorry I-"

Leo shook his head and cut across him. "I know. You don't need to tell me."

Harry gave him a small grateful smile and nodded before standing up. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Just then the phone rang. Leo sighed and picked it up. "Dalton?" He listened to whoever was on the other end before turning to Harry. "Sorry, Harry, it's Hartfield, I'm going to have to take this."

Leaving Leo's office, Harry walked back over to his desk. So he needed to find some closure. But how? Why was he still feeling like there was something holding him back, preventing him from moving on? Something was niggling in the pit of his stomach, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Harry walked into the cutting room, where everything was quiet and still. He liked it in here, it gave him somewhere to think.

What was it? What was stopping him from finding 'closure', as Leo had called it?

Then he knew. It hit him with such blinding clarity that suddenly it was as if his world had suddenly righted itself again. He knew what he had to do, of course he did.

Half-sprinting from the cutting room, Harry eventually stumbled across the two people he was looking for. The unexpected realisation was so refreshingly clear that it had sent adrenaline buzzing through Harry's veins.

As he burst through the doors, both Leo and Detective Inspector Hartfield's heads snapped up, startled by his abrupt entrance. Harry took a deep breath and swallowed hard.

"Tell me what evidence we need to put this bastard in jail," he said forcefully.

* * *

**Wow, this chapter's a bit depressing! It's basically Harry all moody, so I'm sorry about that. And about the long delay in uploading this. As I said on my LJ blog, I had a few problems! ****J**** But it's all good now! I know what I want to do for the next chapter as well, so I should get that up fairly soon. **


	20. Suddenly I See

**Chapter 20:** Suddenly I See

"Harry, what are you doing?" Leo asked bemusedly. Harry stepped into the layout room properly, trying to catch his breath. Hartfield was frowning at him.

"I need to help," Harry explained. "I need to get this guy, because I can't -" He took a deep breath before continuing. "I just need to help."

"I had to pull some strings to get you on this case last time," Leo said. "You can't just come and go as you please. Besides, you're too emotionally involved. I'm sorry, Harry, but go and find something else to do."

Harry marched over to stand in front of Leo. "Leo, I _have_ to get back on this case! You know I do," he said loudly, unable to keep the frustration out of his voice. "Please, if you care about me at all then you'll let me."

At this final sentence Leo raised his eyebrows amusedly. Harry fell silent before saying, "I know, I want to take it back. But I can't, I said it. Please, Leo," he added desperately.

Leo observed him for a moment; Harry could almost see his brain whirring as his boss weighed up the pros and cons of allowing Harry's request. Eventually he said, "Fine. You can be on the case again."

Harry smiled. "Thank you, Leo."

"It doesn't mean I'm happy about it though. If your relationship with Nikki clouds your judgement at all then that will be it, Harry."

"There is no relationship between Nikki and I," he muttered. "So can my judgement be clouded?"

Leo just looked at him sceptically for a moment before signalling for Harry to sit down. Immensely relieved, Harry did as he was told and sat opposite Hartfield, who was still looking confused.

"Right," Leo said, tapping the interactive white board on the wall. "I'll just give you a quick run-down, Harry."

A picture appeared on the screen of a young, black male. He was glaring moodily at the camera, his dark eyes boring into it. Harry recognised his attitude as someone who was having his photo taken by the police.

"This is Jermaine Wallace," Leo explained. "He's twenty-seven years old and rents a small flat on the Brackenburn Estate. Or, should I say, the council rent it for him. Err... currently unemployed, he hasn't worked for three years. He's got a criminal record as long as your arm: minor fraud, burglary, shoplifting, and one or two drug possessions."

This time Hartfield stood up. He looked at the picture of Wallace as he spoke to Harry. "Eighteen months ago he was arrested under suspicion of being the driver in serious hit-and-run. Everything pointed to him but his girlfriend readily supplied him with an alibi when we came calling. It was obvious that she was lying for him, so we pressed on with the case and it went to court. We were hoping that once under oath, she would crack. However, we had no such luck. Plus, he had such a bloody good lawyer. The jury found him not-guilty."

Hartfield stopped and gritted his teeth; he was clearly still very bitter at this jury's poor decision making.

"What makes you think that it was Wallace who killed Victor Alexander?" Harry asked.

"A witness," Hartfield supplied. "They saw someone running away from the alley in which Mr Alexander was found at about nine-thirty on November 20th – the night he was killed. They picked Wallace out of a line-up."

Harry raised his eyebrows. "That certainly does seem to put him in the frame."

Leo nodded. "Yes, but we can't actually _prove_ that it was him."

Hartfield made a noise of assent. "Exactly. It was a dark night, the witness was on the other side of the road and only saw a sideways glimpse of the killer for a couple of seconds. His lawyer will tear that to shreds a matter of minutes. It's one of those cases when everyone knows that he's lying, but there's no proof to say either way."

"So, just to clarify," Harry frowned, "you basically need some solid, concrete evidence that puts Wallace at the scene of the crime?"

"Yes," Leo and Hartfield said in unison.

"Evidence that we don't have," Harry reminded them. Leo sighed despairingly while Hartfield nodded grimly.

"Okay," Harry said brightly, determined not to let this case get the better of him. "Is it okay if I can borrow the case file, Leo? I'd like to go and look at it properly."

Leo nodded. "Here, take it," he said, passing it to him. Flashing them a small smile, Harry left the layout room and hastily trod the familiar route back to his desk. In all the excitement at getting back to work Harry had completely forgotten why he was feeling miserable in the first place. Then he saw Nikki sat at her own desk. He stopped suddenly, causing Nikki to look up.

She opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. Harry just stood, motionless, unable to think of a single thing to say, not after their hostile dispute when she'd first arrived that morning.

"I..." Nikki said suddenly. She stopped and picked up a piece of paper. "I should be getting on with this."

With that she pushed herself up from her chair and walked from the room, heels clicking on the floor. Harry swallowed hard before sinking down into his own chair. He placed his head in his hands, pressing his palms to his eyes until small spots of colour popped in front of him. Releasing a sigh, he rubbed his face vigorously before sniffing and sitting up straight.

How he wished he hadn't opened his eyes. Nikki was stood a short distance away, watching him from the doorway and looking close to tears herself. When Harry made eye-contact with her she hastily looked away before stuttering, "I... I umm – I forgot my... err, pen. I forgot my pen."

She quickly walked back to her desk again and grabbed a biro before retreating, her back to Harry. However, when she reached the doorway she slowly turned around.

"I..." she started to say, then trailed off; she held his gaze steadily this time. Harry thought she looked as if she wanted to apologise. For one wild, fleeting moment, he imagined her telling him that she was sorry and had made a huge mistake. Of course, he'd take her back straight away, the fool that he was.

Nikki, however, burst this fantasy bubble of Harry's by softly shaking her head and leaving the room again, not once looking back.

It was over. It was well and truly over, Harry knew that. She had left him; walked out; packed her stuff and gone. They couldn't even look at each other anymore, let alone have a civil conversation. If he could go back in time right now, back to before they even got together, then perhaps things would be different. After all, they never did do things the conventional way.

Leo was right: he had to move on. Otherwise he'd be a wallowing, self-pitying mess for the rest of his life. Just as soon as he'd caught Mr Alexander's killer. He owed Nikki that, even if she had broken his heart. Harry had promised her, what felt like years ago, that he would do everything in his power to put that murderer in jail. He could hear her pleads now, _"I need someone I can trust, someone I can depend upon."_ There was no way he could let her down. If he did this, he might just find the closure he desperately craved.

*

"How are you getting on?"

Harry looked up at the sound of Leo's voice. He released a long breath and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm not. This is useless, Leo! There were no fingerprints at the crime scene, no fibres, no hairs, no skin cells... no anything!"

"I know it's frustrating," Leo said, pulling on his coat. "But there must be something somewhere. No one is that flawless."

Harry just nodded in thoughtful silence, then he frowned at Leo. "Are you leaving?"

"Yes, it's nearly nine."

"What?" Harry yelped. In his absorption in the case he'd let time pass him by without noticing.

"How did you not know that?" Leo chuckled. "Everyone else left hours ago. Nikki left hours ago."

"Yeah, well... Why would Nikki speak to me? Mind you, saying goodbye seems to be her speciality."

A crease formed between Leo's eyebrows. "Can I ask you something?"

Harry nodded.

"Seeing as you and Nikki aren't on the best of terms at the moment, why were you so determined to be on this case?"

"I promised her that it would be me who found the evidence to bring this guy to justice. I always keep my promises," Harry explained. "It's a clarity thing."

"Clarity?"

"Yeah. I couldn't work out what was stopping me from moving on, and then it hit me, so suddenly it was blinding. Victor Alexander. Nikki wanted _me_ to be on the case, and I told her that I would. Until I have caught this guy, I'll just feel like I've let her down."

Leo smiled in understanding. "You're looking for closure?"

"I'm looking for closure," Harry confirmed.

"You know, you're not the only one who's hurting," Leo told him suddenly.

Harry scoffed. "Oh please. Nikki came in here this morning, all smiley and cheery."

"Do you know what she said to me, four nights ago now, just after she'd left you?" Leo asked sharply. Harry shook his head. "She said, 'Don't be nice to me, Leo. I don't deserve it'. I'm not condoning her actions, but I just want you to know that you're not the only one hurting."

"Yeah, and whose fault is that?" Harry said cruelly.

Leo sighed. "Go home, Harry. And please, just sleep. Don't get drunk."

"I won't," Harry said quietly. "I promise I won't."

"Glad to hear it," Leo smiled. "I expect to see you nice and early tomorrow morning."

Harry just rolled his eyes. Leo laughed. "'Night."

"Goodnight, Leo," Harry smiled, and watched Leo's back retreat through the doors until he could no longer see him. He then threw his pen down on his desk and leant back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling with his hands behind his head. Leo was right, as usual: he should probably go home. It was no good trying to focus on any of this now, he was too tired. Plus, he guessed, still a little hungover. He needed sleep to fix him physically again. He'd work better in the morning, when he was feeling a bit fresher.

Tidying up the documents that had been scattered across his desk during the afternoon, Harry shoved the folder into his briefcase before shrugging on his coat.

The temperature had dropped considerably in comparison to earlier in the day, and Harry shivered as he walked across the car park. It was with welcome relief that he dropped into his car and switched the heater on full-blast.

He had intended to go straight to bed when he arrived home, but upon returning to his apartment he found that he just couldn't. After feeding Charlie and taking him for a brief walk, Harry settled down in his favourite chair and pulled out Mr Alexander's case file once more. Thoughts and ideas about how they could catch this guy were chasing each other around Harry's head, each one sounding more ridiculous. It was when he actually considered planting some false evidence that Harry realised it was time to sleep. Now he was just being stupid.

Throwing the folder onto his coffee table, Harry stood up with a groan and set about locking the door and switching the lights off. As dutiful as ever, Charlie followed him into his bedroom and jumped straight on the bed. Harry sighed but couldn't help but smile. He hastily changed before falling into bed himself. The events of the last four days finally caught up with his now sober mind, and exhaustion overwhelmed him completely.

* * *

**Hmmm... I'm not very happy with this chapter, to be honest with you. It's a bit boring, isn't it? Oh well, it will have to do. I'm still not sure whether I want H and N to get back together... I have written a very emotional moving-on type scene between them, and also a slightly steamy reunion scene ;) I'm just not sure which one I want it to be. But whichever, it won't happen for a good few chapters yet so I have time to decide!  
****Phew, ramble over! **


	21. What You've Done To Me

**Chapter 20:** What You've Done To Me

Harry released a long groan as he woke up the next morning. It was still early, his alarm hadn't gone off, and he couldn't work out what had suddenly made him wide awake. He was just dropping off again when he heard it; a bang from out in the hall. Sitting bolt upright, Harry accidentally elbowed Charlie who looked at his owner in disgust, not happy at being woken up.

There was more shuffling from outside Harry's bedroom door, and he could see a small chink of light filtering into his bedroom. This time Charlie heard it too, and he ran to the door and started barking. The noises stopped suddenly.

Panic gripping Harry, he climbed out of bed and swallowed hard as he quietly walked across his bedroom. Hoping he appeared more confidant in his pyjamas than he felt, he slowly turned the knob before flinging the door open.

Blinking in the bright light, it took Harry's eyes a few seconds to adjust. When they did he thought he was hallucinating.

"Nikki?" he exclaimed.

For Nikki was stood in the doorway of her old bedroom, biting her lips nervously. "Hi," she said meekly. Harry ran a confused hand through his hair.

"What on earth are you doing here at five in the morning?" he asked, still in shock and wondering whether he was dreaming.

"I wanted to come back and get a few things that I left behind," she told him, not quite meeting his gaze. It was only then that Harry registered the cardboard box on the floor at her feet.

"And you thought now would be the best time to come?"

Nikki shrugged. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a key, which she then passed to Harry. "Here's my key to this place. You should probably have it back, it's not like I need it anymore," she said.

Harry took the key, his fingers brushing against Nikki's. She gasped involuntarily, her fingertips lingering slightly against his knuckles. Feeling his eyes prickling at this sudden contact with Nikki again, Harry cleared his throat and pulled away. There was an awkward silence, which Nikki eventually broke by leaning down and greeting Charlie affectionately. Harry just stood there, uncertain of what to say now. Nikki was fussing over the dog, who was ecstatic to see her again.

Eventually she straightened up, picking her box up at the same time.

"I should probably be going," she said, signalling in the direction of the front door with her thumb.

Harry nodded. "Did you get everything you came for?"

"Yes. I'm sorry for waking you, I was hoping just to get in and out without anyone knowing," she confessed with a small smile, but her grin faded when she saw the expression on Harry's face.

"You didn't want to speak to me, did you?" he asked her, trying to sound angry rather than hurt. "That's why you broke in here at five in the morning!"

"I didn't 'break in', I had a key-" Nikki started to protest, but Harry cut across her.

"Why, Nikki? You know all you had to do was pick up the phone and ask to come over. There was no need for sneaking around!"

"I know. It was a stupid idea," she muttered, looking down into the contents of her box. This was all getting too much for Harry. Nikki was right there, close enough for him to just reach out and touch. He ached with longing, but knew he couldn't do anything; they'd gone beyond that stage now. Not trusting himself not to do something stupid, Harry said, "Perhaps you should leave; you're confusing Charlie by coming back."

Nikki nodded forlornly, bending down to stroke the dog one more time. "Bye bye, Charlie," she muttered, ruffling his head and pressing a kiss into his fur. When she straightened up, Harry was surprised to see that for the second time in twenty-four hours, Nikki held his gaze steadily. Her eyes were shining with guilt, although Harry didn't know whether it was over him or Charlie.

"I'm sorry, Harry," she breathed sadly, so quietly that Harry almost didn't hear her. A lump formed in his throat, preventing him from speaking so he nodded instead. "I didn't mean to ... I didn't want to ..." she seemed unable to explain.

Clearing his throat, Harry said, "I wish you'd finish your sentences." He gave her a tiny, sad smile, trying to tell her that yes, he was hurting, but he didn't want her beating herself up over it. Nikki smiled back slightly, a flicker of understanding flashing across her face. There was a slightly uncomfortable silence, until Nikki broke it by saying, "I'll see you at work in a few hours."

"I suppose you will," Harry replied, his voice marginally cooler than normal. Picking up her box, Nikki walked away from Harry. He didn't follow her, and twenty seconds later he heard the door shut quietly.

He ran his hands over his face vigorously. That was so bizarre; he couldn't believe it actually happened. Nikki had snuck in at five in the morning to get a few bits, just because she didn't want to see him. Part of Harry was angry. The other part knew that it was time to say goodbye.

*

Upon arriving at work, Harry walked over to his desk and immediately retrieved his paperwork from the previous day. He read through it for the millionth time before throwing back onto his desk with a sigh. There was nothing anywhere that could put Wallace at the scene of the murder. Just as Harry was about to give up completely, Leo walked into the room. He smiled at Harry and changed direction to walk over to him.

"Good morning," his boss greeted cheerfully.

Harry just grunted in response. Leo frowned. "Are you hungover?"

"No!" Harry protested. "I told you I wouldn't drink last night, and I didn't."

"So what's wrong then?"

"I am losing the will to live, Leo. How are we supposed to get this guy if there is no evidence to say that he did it?"

Leo sighed and shook his head. "I don't know, Harry. We haven't got long left to find out, either."

"What do you mean?" Harry asked, a crease forming between his eyebrows.

"The police can only keep him in custody for another twenty-four hours. At eight o'clock tomorrow morning he'll be free to go if they can't charge him with murder."

"_Shit!_" Harry exclaimed, slamming his pen onto his desk frustratedly.

"I'm really sorry, Harry, but I don't think there's much more we can do," Leo told him gently.

"Of course there's more we can do, Leo!" Harry cried. "There's always something more that can be done! And if you won't help me then I'll just have to do it on my own!"

He stood up abruptly so that he was eye-level with Leo and glared at his boss. Leo didn't flinch, however.

"Will you stop biting my head off, Harry," he said calmly. "None of this is my fault. And of course I'm going to help you. You know that."

Harry sank back down into his chair, now feeling guilty on top of everything else. "I'm sorry," he muttered.

Leo just nodded before grabbing Nikki's chair and wheeling it across to the other side of Harry's desk. He then pulled the Victor Alexander file towards him.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked.

"There must be something, somewhere, that we're missing," Leo mused thoughtfully. "No killer is that perfect."

"Well this one obviously is," Harry replied mutinously.

Leo ignored him, just gazed down at the papers in front of him. "Let's go and look at the crime scene again," he said eventually. "Come on, I'll drive."

Harry, buoyed by this newfound enthusiasm, wasted no time in getting to his feet and pulling on his coat. He took the lead as he quickly marched from the lab, despite Leo's protests to slow down. But Harry finally felt like he was getting somewhere, like progress was being made. That was, until he rounded a corner and collided with an oncoming Nikki.

The sudden close proximity that neither of them had felt for nearly a week meant that Harry's feet were stuck to the ground. He couldn't move. Nikki seemed to be the same, just gazing up at Harry with something that looked like shock, confusion and – dare he say it – longing, etched on her flushed face. He was close enough to be able to smell the gentle flowery fragrance of her hair, something that he'd missed a great deal. All he had to do was move his head forward just a few inches and he'd be able to feel her lips on his once again...

Internally scolding himself, Harry tried to rid himself of these thoughts. Unable to take it any longer, he placed his hands on the tops of Nikki's arms and gently moved her away from him. This seemed to snap Nikki out of her daze and she cleared her throat before turning to Leo, who'd just caught up.

"Where are you going?" she asked her boss, seemingly determined not to look at Harry.

"To a crime scene," Leo replied, without a trace of hesitancy.

"Oh. Both of you?" Nikki frowned.

"Yes, both of us," Leo said simply.

"Oh," Nikki repeated. She suddenly looked up and her eyes connected with Harry's. His breath caught, causing his throat to constrict painfully. He opened his mouth to say something, but didn't know what.

Then he felt a hand on his elbow, and Leo started to drag him away.

"We'll see you later, Nikki," the older man said.

As soon as they were in the car park and out of ear shot from Nikki, Harry said, "What the hell are you doing?"

"You told me that you wanted to get over her, Harry," Leo said sharply as they climbed into his car.

"I do! I am!"

"Well obviously you're not! You both need to either get back together, or move on; and as I don't see the former happening anytime soon, then I think you need to work on the latter, don't you?"

"Wow, Leo, don't hold back," Harry muttered sarcastically, tugging his seatbelt across himself ferociously.

"I'm sorry, but you need to face the reality of your situation!"

"Leo, I miss Nikki so much that it physically hurts! I drank myself to sleep for three nights and laid wide awake for the last two. I've not only lost the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but my best friend too! She and I exist in a state of total silence now, with the only words we do say being either forced or," he turned to look out of the window, a small smile on his lips, "incomplete sentences."

Leo puzzled at this last bit, but when he saw how genuinely upset Harry was he sighed, immediately softening.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I know you miss her, and I know this is not even remotely easy for you. I just want everything to go back to normal."

"Yeah, well. You're not the only one. Let's just get to this crime scene, shall we?" Harry said, changing the subject. Leo smiled at him before turning to key in the ignition.

*

"This is it?" Harry surveyed the scene with a look of utter disgust on his face.

"This is the place," Leo confirmed.

Harry slowly stepped down the alleyway. It was the worst place imaginable to be left for dead. The bins were overflowing with sloppy, stinking bags of rubbish. There was a general odour of urine about the place, and fumes from the restaurant's generator filled the air. Harry spotted a small piece of tin foil on the ground next to a syringe, a tell-tale sign of drug abuse. Harry grimaced as he stood on something that turned out to be a used condom, and flicked it aside with the tip of his shoe. It landed on what looked suspiciously like human faeces. It was either that or a bloody big dog. Oh, how he hoped it was a dog.

Of course, the SOCOs had long since left the area, so technically it wasn't a crime scene anymore, but there was still this flicker of hope inside Harry that refused to be extinguished. He didn't even know what they were hoping to find.

"Where was Mr Alexander found exactly?" he asked Leo.

Leo stepped forward, and for the first time Harry noticed the brightly coloured plastic cones that he was holding.

"Right here," he said, dropping a yellow cone at a particular spot. Harry tried to picture Mr Alexander where the marker was, but that made him think of Nikki, so he stopped. "There was a blood splatter on the fence here," Leo continued, pointing to a spot, "but it looks like the rain has washed it away now..."

"What are we even doing here, Leo? What on earth are we hoping to find?" Harry sighed.

"I don't know," Leo said. "But getting out of the lab and seeing all this again might do us some good."

They examined every inch of the area, spoke to the chef when he came outside for a cigarette, and even re-enacted the shooting, but got nowhere. An hour later and Harry was cold, tired and annoyed.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I was really hoping that this would get us somewhere," Leo said wearily.

Harry groaned and kicked the wall in frustration. However, far from relieving his anger he now had a sharp pain in his toe as well.

They went back to the lab, annoyed and dissatisfied. Nikki was sat at her desk, but she barely glanced up when Harry sunk down opposite her. However, he found that he didn't care. He was beyond caring now.

He plucked the case file from the bottom drawer in his desk, and once again began to read through it, even though he practically knew it off by heart. He stared down at the cover page inside the folder. _Victor Alexander ... cause of death: gunshot wound to the head._

What was he missing? There was something about that final sentence... Then it hit him _gun_shot wound! Harry abruptly stood up from his chair, gasping in realisation. Even Nikki looked up at him. Grabbing the folder, Harry marched straight over to Leo's office. He entered without knocking, roughly shutting the door behind him.

"Gunshot," he said loudly, dropping the file in front of a startled Leo. "He was killed with a _gun_!"

"Yes," Leo said slowly. "Are you feeling alright, Harry?"

"He was _murdered_. With a _gun_. So where is it?"

The question hung in the air like the elephant in the room. Leo raised his eyebrows.

"Well... They couldn't find a gun. They searched Wallace's flat and other properties that he's associated with, but nothing.

"What about gun residue on his clothes and hands? Any injuries from a recoil? Anything like that?" Harry asked frantically.

"No, Harry. It was a few days before they even suspected Jermaine Wallace. By that time he'd disposed of his clothes, ditched the gun and had a shower. I swabbed him when they arrested him, but there was nothing on him," Leo explained.

Harry sighed, running a hand through his hair. Then he froze, thinking.

"What?" Leo asked. "Harry, what is it?"

"Where does he live?" Harry asked quietly, more to himself. He grabbed the folder from the desk and roughly rifled through the pages until he found the details of Jermaine Wallace. Then he rushed around to the other side of Leo's desk and grabbed his computer keyboard.

Leo just watched in bemusement as Harry typed in the address onto Google and a map appeared on the screen. Harry traced the roads with his finger until he found the council estate he was looking for.

"There, look!" he said suddenly, twisting the screen around so that Leo could see. "There's a lake right there beside the estate. If he was going to get rid of the gun, surely that would be the place that he'd do it!"

"Harry... That's a bit of a long shot. There are a million other places that he could have dumped it between the restaurant and his flat," Leo said placatingly.

"Yes but, Leo! Come on! This is the strongest chance we've got," Harry persisted, moving back to his original spot opposite Leo so that he could make eye contact with him.

"Even if it is there, we can't do anything," Leo argued.

Harry began to get frustrated. "Yes we can!" he cried. "Leo, at the touch of a button you can have a forensic dive team in that lake within the hour!"

"It's a big lake, Harry, and we don't even know if the gun is in there."

"Yes, but what if it is?" Harry argued hotly. "We have," he checked his watch, "twenty-one hours and thirty-seven minutes until Wallace walks free. This could be our only chance to get him, Leo. Think of Nikki. She needs us to catch the guy who murdered her father."

Harry waited with baited breath as Leo watched him through narrowed eyes, obviously weighing up his options.

"Fine," Leo said eventually. "I'll get the team down there. But on your head be it, Harry. If you don't find anything, then you'll have to explain to the coroner why you wasted all the resources."

"Okay," Harry said, shooting Leo a grateful smile. "I'll get my kit sorted and get down to the lake. Are you coming?"

"I can't now; I have other work to do. I might pop by and see how you're getting on later though."

"Right then, I'll see you later. I'll let you know if I find anything," Harry told him, making to leave the office.

"Bye. Oh, and Harry? Don't get your hopes up too much," Leo warned.

Harry nodded. "I won't. I promise. But I am going to find this gun."

* * *

**Right, I know I said on my LJ blog that this chapter would be different, and called 'How To Say Goodbye', but it just got waaay to long. I mean, this chapter is only half of what I have written and it's over 3,000 words! So I thought I'd split it into two chapters, which threw a spanner in the works, I'm telling you! However, I promise that I shall have the next chapter up tomorrow sometime, without fail!  
Mind you, tomorrow is actually today now, seeing as it's past midnight... Ah, I shouldn't have stayed up so late! I was really struggling with this chapter, I must have just lost track of time.  
Let me know what you think, it's not very good, I know.  
Charlotte xxx**


	22. How To Say Goodbye

**Chapter 21:** How To Say Goodbye

Harry left Leo's office and walked straight over to his desk, gathering up the various tools for his field kit and slotting them all into the large silver case. Nikki was still working at her own desk; or at least, she was pretending to be reading a letter but her eyes weren't actually moving. Neither of them said anything as Harry left the lab for the second time.

Unfortunately, he got stuck in an unexpected lot of traffic on his way to the lake.

"Why is there always traffic when you particularly _don't_ want there to be any?" he grumbled to himself as he switched on the local radio station to see if he could discover the root of the problem. It didn't take him long. An accident at a roundabout had caused three-mile tailbacks. With a sigh, Harry swung his car out of the queue and down a narrow side-road. He was going to have to go the back way. It may add an extra five miles to his journey, but at least he'd be moving.

When Harry eventually arrived at the lake, he could see the divers already there. As he slipped and slid over the wet grass, he could just make them out, all suited up and clambouring into a small red dinghy. It was only when he saw the lake with his own eyes that he realised just what a mammoth task he was about to undertake. The lake itself was huge, a good 500 metres across. Its steely grey waters looked cold and daunting. Harry didn't envy the divers. To his left he could see the Brackenburn estate, just 100 metres away. He could only guess how many noses would be pressed against windows, wondering what all those people were doing in that great mass of water.

Movement further around the shoreline caught Harry's attention, and he looked over to see DI Hartfield waving at him. Harry steadily made his way over to the detective, who was watching the proceedings with his mobile phone in his hand.

"Do you reckon we're going to find this gun?" Hartfield asked as soon as Harry had approached.

"I honestly don't know," Harry replied truthfully. "But we have to try."

Hartfield nodded. "That we do."

The two men stood and watched as, one by one, each diver slowly descended into the lake and vanished from sight. Harry was hopeful. He knew he shouldn't be, but something was telling him that they might just strike gold.

However, an hour soon turned into two, and there was still nothing.

"We're getting a nice collection of old shoes and bricks," Hartfield joked, signalling to the large pile on the shore beside them, "but no gun."

"I know," Harry sighed. "We just have to keep looking."

Half an hour later and Leo turned up, mercifully carrying two polystyrene cups of tea and a carrier bag containing two plastic packets of sandwiches.

"I thought you might be hungry," Leo smiled, passing Harry and the detective their food.

"Thanks, Leo," Harry said warmly, gratefully accepting the tea. "But I'm not really hungry."

"I'll have his sandwiches," Hartfield piped up immediately, his mouth full of his own. Leo handed over the carrier bag.

"You need to eat, Harry," he said quietly.

"I will. Later. I'm just not hungry at this moment in time," Harry insisted. Leo narrowed his eyes at him, but didn't press the subject.

"Have you had any luck yet?" he asked instead.

"No," Harry said regretfully. "It's what, nearly one now? We've been here since ten and we haven't found anything besides the foul accumulation of those people too lazy to drive to the tip."

Leo laughed humourlessly. "These things take time, Harry. I'm sure you'll get there, don't worry."

Harry frowned. "I thought you didn't want me to get my hopes up?"

"Yes, well... A little hope never hurt anyone," he said quietly. Harry smiled at his boss and was about to reply when they were interrupted by a shout from the lake.

"Boss! We've got something!"

One of the men who had remained on the dinghy was leaning over the edge talking to a diver, who was holding something in his hand. The other man was relaying the information back to Hartfield through a megaphone.

"I told you," Leo smiled. Harry felt his stomach clench excitedly. This could be it.

In less than five minutes the boat returned back to shore, only to drop off what they'd found before they sped back out to centre of the lake again. The item was wrapped in a green material, although it was very much gun-shaped.

"Right, I'm gonna need some gloves over here!" Hartfield yelled to no one in particular, and a moment later a young, uniformed police officer ran over with some. Harry had already snapped his own on, and was bent down, gingerly poking at the soggy package as he waited for Hartfield. Eventually the detective crouched opposite him and Leo observed the scene from a standing position, holding a plastic evidence bag at the ready. Cutting off the elastic bands holding the material over the object, Harry then held the corners of the cloth and pulled. Out rolled a big, heavy, black gun.

*

"Right, Harry. You get that straight down to the layout room. Try not to let Nikki see it," Leo said urgently, as the two men marched back into the lab.

"Okay," Harry said distractedly, desperate to actually examine the gun. They reached the doors, but Leo flung his arm out to stop Harry from entering.

"Harry, slow down," he said quietly. "We haven't found any fingerprints or anything yet. It's been in the water for almost two weeks."

"I know, Leo. But how can I try and find some fingerprints if you won't let me into the lab?" Harry raised his eyebrows at his boss.

Leo sighed and stepped aside. Harry buzzed open the doors and walked straight through the offices, noticing that Nikki was no longer at her desk. He strode through to the layout room and deposited the evidence bags containing the gun and the cloth on the table. They were still damp inside. He then went to the locker room and switched his jacket for his white lab coat and latex gloves.

Sitting down with the gun and an array of swabs, a magnifying glass and a microscope in front of him, Harry got to work. At first glance, the gun appeared to be immaculate, if a little wet. However, under closer scrutiny, Harry could see faint marks on its black surface. But they were only partial fingerprints, nothing more than smudges. Someone had obviously tried to clean it. Harry picked up a swab and ran it around the tip of the gun, where there was a dark splatter mark.

Just as Harry had screwed the lid on the swab, Leo entered the room.

"How are you getting on? Hartfield's been on the phone, wants to know if you've found anything yet," he said.

"Well you can tell Hartfield that these things take time," Harry replied through gritted teeth.

"I take it that's a no then," Leo said grimly.

Harry shook his head. "Not yet."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Can you run this for me?" Harry asked, passing Leo the tube. "I think it's Victor Alexander's blood. If it is, then at least we'll know that we've got the right murder weapon."

"Yeah, sure."

Leo left the room again, and Harry paused for a second to release a long breath. This was proving rather harder than he had hoped. However, they now had just eighteen hours left until Wallace was released, so Harry got back to work.

*

"Harry, you need to go home. You need to sleep," Leo scolded as he walked into the layout room once again. It was nearly midnight, and Harry had thought that he was the only one still at the lab.

"I will," he said, sipping his can of Red Bull. "Just as soon as I've got something."

"If you didn't find anything before, the chances of you finding something now are very slim," Leo said slowly.

"Just let me try, Leo!" Harry growled, running a UV light over the body of the gun. "All we've got at the moment is a partial DNA sample from the trigger that does match Wallace, but could also be thousands of other people in this city alone. We have eight hours left, and I'll be damned if I'm just going to give up!"

Leo smiled gently. "Okay then. Just promise to call me if you find something."

Harry just nodded as Leo bade goodnight and left the room. Leaning back in his chair, he groaned wearily. His whole body ached with exhaustion, but he wasn't going to be defeated. Deciding that the gun had pretty much been swabbed and tested and examined within an inch of its life, Harry picked up the piece of pale green material. He unfolded it properly for the first time, having just focussed on the gun before, and discovered that it was a man's polo shirt, covered in dark stains that looked suspiciously like blood, even if they had been faded by the water.

Feeling hope flare up inside him once more, Harry swabbed a particularly large bloodstain, but he was already convinced that the blood would be that of Victor Alexander. That wasn't what was exciting Harry though. What he suspected was that Wallace had been wearing this t-shirt at the time of the murder, and that he had wrapped the gun in it to dispose of both items at once. And if he had been wearing it at the time, then there would be sweat traces on it. Sweat traces that hopefully contained a full-profile of Wallace's DNA. He just hoped that the water hadn't cleaned it too much, and that he was going to be able to find something.

Freshly enthused, Harry pulled a new tray of swabs towards him.

Sometime later, Harry couldn't say how long – it could have been hours, it could have been days, and he had still had no luck. The water had washed out practically all traces of anything, and he didn't hold out much hope of finding something now. He only had around the neck left to swab. He ran the cotton bud-like object around the inside first, at the back near the label, then wiped it onto a glass slide. Wheeling himself down the table slightly to position himself in front of the microscope, Harry pressed his eye hopefully to the lens, his fingers slowly moving the slide underneath. There were a few cells, more than on the rest of the t-shirt, but not enough to make a full DNA profile. Groaning, Harry picked up the slide and slammed it onto the desk so hard that it cracked in two. The water had just seeped straight through the thin polo shirt material, taking all evidence with it.

Harry gazed down at the t-shirt, finally realising that maybe he should just give up. There wasn't a lot more he could do. If only the material had been thicker, slightly more water-resistant, he might have found something around the neck.

The label.

The label was thicker, more water-resistant. And it was on the neck.

Harry grabbed some scissors excitedly and carefully snipped off the shiny, white piece of material. He ran another swab over it thoroughly, making sure to get every corner. Like before, that then went on a slide and Harry stared down the microscope.

There it was. Sweat. Sweat in microscopic form.

Grinning like a maniac, all previous tiredness now gone, Harry swabbed again before getting up quickly. His head spun from lack of food and sleep as he quickly crossed the room to the large machine that could test DNA. He popped in the tiny tube, hearing it click satisfactorily, before he endured the agonising wait as the profile was being processed.

He walked around the room, stretching his aching legs. He pulled his mobile phone out of his pocket and was astonished to see that it was nearly six thirty already. Time had literally passed him by without him noticing.

The waiting was the worst thing. At least before then he had been swabbing, testing and moaning; actually doing something. But waiting just gave one a sense of helplessness, of the inability to do anything, the dependence on something else. Harry needed to do something, or he was going to go mad.

He could tidy. Empty cans of Red Bull and congealing coffee mugs were scattered across the table. Numerous useless swabs were littered amongst the many pages of equally useless results, and there was the rotting core of an apple that he had eaten in the early hours of the morning propped up against the edge of the microscope. The fetid detritus of a long night's work.

Just as Harry was contemplating fishing out a bin liner, the doors opened and Leo walked in.

"I didn't get a phone call, so I thought I'd come in early and give you a hand," he said with an encouraging smile. However, then he surveyed the mess behind Harry and grimaced.

Harry grinned broadly, a reaction that Leo didn't seem to expect.

"The cloth that the gun was wrapped in was, I think, Wallace's t-shirt. It was covered with Mr Alexander's blood. It's taken me all bloody night, but I've just found enough sweat on it to run it through the system. The DNA results are processing as we speak," he said happily.

Leo looked between Harry and the machine, astounded.

"But Harry, that's brilliant!"

"I know. There was nothing on the gun but a partial sample. If the one I'm running now turns out to be Wallace's, we've got him, Leo!" Harry cried.

"Yes we do. But let's just wait for these results before we start to celebrate, shall we?"

Harry drummed his fingers on the worktop impatiently as he waited for the piece of paper with the results on to slowly edge its way out of the printer. Finally, the machine expelled its goods.

"Get me Wallace's DNA profile," Harry demanded, never removing his eyes from the sheet in front of him. Leo grabbed the profile from the other side of the room before rushing back and passing it to Harry. Harry placed the new, transparent sheet over the one Leo had just passed him. A broad smile spread across his face.

"A perfect match," he said, showing it to Leo.

Leo laughed jubilantly. "I'll phone Hartfield. We've got twenty-two minutes until that bastard walks free. Not that he will be anymore! Yes! This is fantastic, Harry!"

"I know," Harry smiled as Leo clapped him on the back.

"Now, I think you deserve the day off," Leo said happily. "Go and sleep, eat and shower. You look bloody awful."

"Aw, thanks," Harry said sarcastically.

"No, I mean it, Harry. Take the day off, I'll tidy up here. Your dedication to this case was highly admirable. If it wasn't for you then there would be no case against Wallace. You've done a fantastic job, really shown just how able you are. I'm proud of you," Leo said seriously.

Harry was stunned. "Blimey, Leo. Are you feeling alright?"

Leo just laughed and left the room, already pulling out his mobile phone. Harry couldn't stop grinning as he walked through to the locker room, even when he was showering. He'd done it now, he'd found the killer. There was nothing more tying him to Nikki. He could start to move on.

Harry hastily dressed but didn't bother to shave; he could do that when he got home. He pulled his things out of his locker, and after fastening his jacket he made his way through the offices and out of the lab. He passed Leo on the phone to Hartfield and smiled. Nikki was also sat at her desk, and Harry wondered when Leo was going to tell her the good news. A slight pang of resentment shot through him when he realised that it wouldn't be him to tell her.

The cold, fresh air hit Harry like a solid wall as he stepped outside. Having spent nearly a whole day cooped up in a confined space, it was such a relief to get out. He took a deep breath in, slowly releasing it through his nose. It rose as steam in front of him.

Harry sank onto a nearby bench overlooking the quiet car park and just leant back to look up at the sky. It was pearly blue, the shade only a winter morning could bring. There wasn't a cloud in sight. He shut his eyes against the weak sun, just enjoying the refreshing breeze across his tired face.

Fifteen minutes or so passed, and then Harry heard footsteps approach. He cracked one eye open and spotted Nikki walking towards him. Sitting up a little straighter, Harry frowned as the woman in question sat down next to him.

"Leo told me what you did, Harry," she said quietly, looking at a tree ahead of her.

"Did he indeed?" Harry replied, unable to think of anything else to say.

"I had no idea..." She trailed off, and a minute later she suddenly turned and looked directly at him. "Thank you. For everything you've done. I'll forever be grateful. You have no idea how good it feels to finally feel like I can move on from this, to get some closure."

"Oh, trust me, I do," Harry said dryly. Nikki seemed to know what he was talking about. Tears were sparkling in her eyes, and she looked away again.

"Yeah? Because there are some things that haunt someone forever. Some things that you can never truly get over," she said sadly, and Harry realised that they were no longer talking about the death of her father.

"It gets easier," he said reluctantly, and Nikki turned to face him once again. "Once you pass the endless drinking stage, and the blaming everyone else stage, and the no sleeping stage; it gets easier. At least, I hope it does."

Nikki nodded, a tear rolling down her cheek. "I hope it does too," she croaked. "Harry, I..."

"Don't, Nikki," he said quietly, swallowing the lump in his throat. "Don't make this harder than it already is."

Nikki nodded again, a small sob escaping her lips. It took all his self-control not to just reach out and hold her.

"I get it, you're not ready for us," he told her. "Just because I don't like it, it doesn't mean I don't understand it."

Nikki didn't say anything, but gave him a small, watery smile. Suddenly, she reached out and slipped her hand into his. Harry felt his stomach clench, and ran his thumb across the back of Nikki's hand. They sat like that for a couple of minutes, never breaking eye contact, until Harry realised that he couldn't do this anymore.

He leant forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Nikki's cheek, letting his lips linger slightly as he felt Nikki shiver. When he pulled back he stood up from the bench.

"Goodbye, Nikki," he said firmly.

"Bye, Harry," she replied, a tiny, sad smile on her lips.

Harry turned around and walked away, towards his car. He hadn't known, before, what it would be like to get closure; now he did. They were over.

"It's time to pull yourself together, Harry," he muttered to himself as he walked, not looking back.

* * *

**Phew, another long chapter! Dedicated to Saffiya Scarlett, who I'm killing with this story, apparently! :D**

**I know it's late, but I wanted to update tonight like I said I would! Glad to get this chapter done, it's been a struggle! I don't hold out much hope of Harry moving on, to be honest, but he's got to try, bless him ;)  
I have decided what I'm going to do with Harry&Nikki now. You know, I have that emotional goodbye scene planned, and the rather steamy reunion scene? Well, I know which one it's going to be! Won't happen for... three or four chapters though. Maybe more, I don't know. And I'm not telling you, either! You'll just have to wait and see! :P **

**Loveage  
****xxx**


	23. Maybe Tomorrow

**Chapter 23:** Maybe Tomorrow

Harry groaned as his brain woke him up involuntarily and kept his eyes firmly closed, unwilling to drag himself back into consciousness just yet. As a force of habit, he rolled over and reached out an arm, but as usual his hand hit nothing more than cold sheets. Sighing, Harry opened his eyes. The first thing his gaze fell upon was one of Nikki's old crime novels let she'd left on her bedside table. How was he supposed to move on with all these constant reminders of what he'd lost around him?

Harry turned his back on the book to look at his clock. It was only just gone four. Why was he awake so early? It must be because he'd fallen asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow at eight o'clock the previous evening. He'd been exhausted after working so hard on the Mr Alexander case.

Realising that he wasn't going back to sleep anytime soon, Harry climbed out of bed. Shivering slightly in his thin pyjamas, he pulled on one of his thick jumpers before going into the lounge. Charlie spotted him immediately and greeted Harry excitedly. Harry gave him an affectionate pat on the head, but quickly continued to the other side of the room. He pulled out a large plastic box from the cupboard and tipped the contents out onto the sofa. Once it was empty, Harry took it back through to his bedroom and dropped the book into the box. He had to get rid of all Nikki's things; otherwise he'd never be able to get over her.

Emptying Nikki's bedside drawer of the things that she hadn't thought important enough to take with her, Harry then moved on into the bathroom. He plucked her shampoo from the shower and threw it into the box that was now perched on the lid of the toilet. Rifling through the bathroom cabinet, Harry also found a rogue bottle of face cream that definitely wasn't his. There was also a large fluffy... thing. Harry didn't know what it was, but he guessed from the pale powder on it that it was for applying makeup. He shook his head slightly at the idea that Nikki thought she needed makeup. The powder puff then joined the shampoo and cream.

Now came the bit that Harry was dreading. Nikki's bedroom. He knew that she'd already emptied it of most things, but she couldn't take everything to Leo's with her. Harry had slept in Leo's spare room before – it wasn't very big. He opened the door slowly, hesitantly, and stepped into the room. It still smelt of Nikki, her perfume, her hair, her clothes. Harry found himself inhaling deeply, before scolding himself mentally. He couldn't do that anymore.

The next half an hour was spent gathering every last possession that either belonged to Nikki, or reminded Harry too much of her for him to keep. Lying on the floor to make sure there was nothing under her bed, Harry's eye caught something under the dresser. Frowning, he reached under and pulled out something long and soft. It was one of Nikki's scarves. He couldn't say why finding this particular piece of material affected him so extremely, but before he knew it Harry was sat on the bed, holding the scarf to his face and quietly sobbing into it. It was the first time since Nikki had left him that he'd actually allowed himself to succumb to his emotions. He wished it would stop.

It took him a few minutes to regain him composure, and when he did Harry picked up the plastic box full of Nikki's things and left her bedroom, snapping the door shut behind him. Then he stood there and thought. Where was he going to put this box now? It was stuff that Nikki obviously didn't want or didn't have the room for at Leo's. So he couldn't give it back to her. Frowning thoughtfully, Harry turned in a three-hundred and sixty degree circle, trying to spot somewhere he could hide a large plastic box that would mean he wouldn't have to think about it ever again.

The airing cupboard. That would be perfect. Harry grabbed a stool and opened the cupboard door. He pulled some spare sheets off of the top shelf and shoved the box none too carefully at the back, then put the sheets back. He couldn't even see the box anymore. Smiling satisfactorily, Harry stepped down from the stool and shut the door before retreating back into his now Nikki-free bedroom to get ready for work.

*

"Harry, can I have a word?" Leo said from the doorway of his office.

Harry looked up from where he was sat at his desk working and at Nikki, but she refused to catch his eye like she normally did when Leo asked such an ominous question. Sighing softly, Harry gave up trying and stood up from his desk before walking over to Leo's office.

"Yes, Leo?"

Leo was sat behind his desk. He signalled for Harry to sit down. Harry did so, feeling slightly apprehensive.

"You're not going to give me another lecture about-" he glanced out of the office quickly, "about Nikki, are you?"

"No, I'm not," Leo said with a gentle smile. "But now you mention it, how are you?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "I'm fine. Why don't you ever ask Nikki how she's feeling?"

"I do. I live with Nikki, I don't need to ask her into my office for a word like I do with you," Leo explained.

Harry laughed. "You don't need to keep checking up on me, Leo. Do I look like I'm not okay?"

"You look a damn sight better than you did yesterday now that you've had a shave, that's for sure," Leo grinned. "But you still don't look okay. It takes time, Harry. I'm not expecting you to be fine."

"Good," Harry said, then decided to change the subject. "So that _was_ the only reason you asked me in here?"

"Actually, I thought you might want something to take your mind off things," Leo said slowly.

Harry narrowed his eyes at Leo. "What are you planning? Or rather, what are you planning on making me do?"

"Would I _make_ you do anything?" Leo asked innocently, his eyes sparkling.

"Yes," Harry replied bluntly.

Leo laughed. "It's only three weeks until Christmas. We've all had a bit of a tough time of it lately, and I was thinking we should do something special."

Harry was pleasantly surprised. "Yeah, that will be nice. Although I'm not sure about the idea of Nikki and I sat at the same table in a restaurant. It will be you and Janet keeping the conversation going."

"Er... I wasn't thinking of a restaurant," Leo said, somewhat hesitantly. "I was thinking bigger this year. Something we've never done before..."

Harry frowned. Then it suddenly occurred to him what Leo might be talking about. "Oh no," he said loudly, his eyes wide.

"I was thinking of maybe having an-"

"Please don't say it."

"-office party," Leo continued.

Harry groaned loudly. "Why? Why would you be thinking that?"

Leo smiled self-deprecatingly. "It's a good idea. And I want you to organise it."

"_What?_"

"It won't be much, just a few bits of food, some nice decorations and-"

"Plenty of alcohol," Harry interrupted moodily.

"It will do you good, Harry," Leo said, ignoring Harry's comment. "It will give you something to focus on, take your mind off other things."

"And you think forcing me to arrange something that I have utter contempt for will cheer me up?" Harry asked sceptically.

"I think it will stop you brooding about how unfair your life is," Leo said, a little harshly, Harry thought.

"Fine, I'll organise the stupid party," he conceded, mainly to get his boss off his back.

"Good. And in the mean time I've got a nice pile of paperwork here just craving your attention," Leo smiled. Harry sighed wearily as a pile of folders were shoved into his arms.

When he reached his desk again he discovered that Nikki had gone. Sighing, he flopped into his chair and ran his hands through his hair. It was really hard trying to move on from Nikki. He _couldn't_ move on from her, not really. She was his best friend; he couldn't just not speak to her for the rest of his life. Deciding that he needed some fresh air, Harry first went to his locker to get his jacket. The small room was empty, but when Harry opened his locker he spotted a small white envelope resting on the top of his folded coat. Frowning, Harry recognised Nikki's writing immediately. He moved the envelope so that he could put his jacket on, before picking it up again and walking back through the lab and outside.

His breath rose as steam in front of him as Harry stepped out into the cold, and a shiver ran up his spine. He glanced up at the dark grey sky and hoped that he wasn't going to get rained on. Once again Harry sat on the same bench as he had yesterday, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. He twiddled the letter between his fingers, not entirely certain that he wanted to know what it said. He hadn't noticed it in his locker when he took his coat off this morning, and he guessed that Nikki must have put it there whilst he was preoccupied talking to Leo. Eventually he took a deep breath and ran his thumb under the flap on the back of the envelope, before nervously tugging out the folded piece of paper with shaking hands.

_Dear Harry,_

_I know this is the second corny letter that I've written you, and the first didn't exactly contain good news, but I wouldn't be able to say this to your face without either breaking down or getting cold feet at the last minute.  
__I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I left you, and that I didn't tell you how I was feeling sooner; but most of all I'm sorry that I hurt you. I thought you were angry with me, it wasn't until yesterday that I realised just how much I crushed you. I never wanted this, I promise, but it wouldn't have been fair for me to keep stringing you along either.  
__Sometimes I wonder whether I've made the right decision. Breaking up with you, I mean. I think I have. It hurts like hell, but it feels right. However, then you go and spend three entire days proving Wallace guilty of my father's murder, and I suddenly become conscious of just how much I miss you.  
__I'm not saying that I want to get back together, because I don't. One – or both – of us would only end up getting hurt again. No, more than anything what I want is for things to go back to normal. Or at least, as normal as they can be after everything that has happened between us now. I want to be able to tell you if I'm having a tough time on a difficult case, I want to be able to rant and moan in your ear if I've had a crappy day, and I want to be able to talk to you like we used to talk.  
__I understand that you may never want to speak to me again after what I did to you, and if that's so then feel free to just rip up this letter or flush it down the loo or whatever; but if not then all I want you to know is that I miss you, and I probably always will._

_Nikki  
__x _

Harry released a long breath and ran his hands across his face, wiping the moisture from his cheeks. He didn't know what to think, as he looked back down at the letter on his lap. He missed her too; God, he missed her so much. Suddenly, there was a single _tap_ noise. Harry frowned, but then he saw the large drop of water on the envelope beside him.

The rain started to fall in earnest, plopping onto his head and surroundings. Sighing, Harry stood from the bench, tucking the letter safely in his inside coat pocket. He then walked back into the lab, shaking the raindrops from himself as he entered the warmth.

Navigating his way through the offices, Harry eventually stopped outside the layout room. Nikki was leaning against the long table with her back to him, her head tilting downwards so that her blonde curls hid her face. Harry couldn't see the evidence of any work around her; in fact, she looked as if she might be hiding from him. He swallowed hard before clearing his throat forcibly.

Nikki whipped around, looking startled. Even more so when she saw that it was Harry. He didn't say anything at first; the pair of them merely looked at each other. Harry didn't know if he could pull his gaze away, it was like there was some invisible bond connecting their eyes, saying more than any words could. Nikki was the first to break it by looking down at her feet. Harry took a step closer to her.

"Tomorrow's Sunday," he told her, and Nikki glanced up at him. "Meet me in the park at ten and we'll take Charlie for a walk."

Nikki visibly relaxed. She'd obviously been extremely worried by what his reaction to the letter would be. "Really?"

"Yeah," Harry nodded, trying to sound casual though his throat was tight. "We can talk."

A small smile spread across Nikki's lips. "Ten it is," she said. Harry nodded again, his head feeling too heavy for his neck. When he stopped there was nothing but stillness in the room. Everything that had happened between them over the last few weeks seemed to hang in the air in front of them; the elephant in the room that seemed to make the silence as twice as loud. Harry could see that Nikki looked close to tears, whether happy or sad he couldn't tell. After another painful minute, he gave up in trying to be nonchalant about the whole thing and just stepped towards Nikki and enveloped her in a hug.

Her arms wound around his waist automatically as he attempted not to succumb and breathe in that smell that was so distinctly Nikki; the smell he'd spent an entire morning trying to get rid of. It was the best thing in the world, to be able to hold her in his arms again. It wasn't a particularly long hug, but when he pulled back he felt considerably better.

"I'll see you at ten tomorrow," he said quietly before slowly walking from the room. He wasn't sure what to feel. Part of him knew that this was dangerous territory for him to be treading on when he was supposed to be moving on from the woman in question, but the other part of him – the part that would always love Nikki – told him that maybe things would turn out okay. Just maybe.

* * *

**Phew! Sorry it's taken me so long to update, thank you for all your LOVELY reviews and not giving up on this story yet! Not too sure about this chapter... I think I could have done it better to be honest.  
Oh, and just to cheer you all up ;) I thought you might like to know that this walking Charlie thing isn't going to bring them back together. I've decided what the outcome of this story is going to be, and it won't happen for a couple of chapters yet. Not telling you anything though :) Oh god, I can just imagine what some of you have to say about it when it does happen! **

**Aren't I evil? ;)**


	24. Tyranny Of Normality

**Chapter 24:** Tyranny of Normality

Harry was feeling particularly apprehensive as he tied the laces on his shoes the next morning. Understandably so, really. It was all very well him telling Nikki that they could 'talk', but he had no idea what to say to her.

Releasing a long breath, he stood and smoothed down the front of his jumper unnecessarily.

"Charlie!" he called as entered the lounge. The terrier came bounding forward, as excited as ever. "Come on, we're going for a walk."

Charlie recognised his favourite word: 'walk'. His tail started wagging furiously and he barked happily. Harry laughed as he clipped the lead to the dog's collar.

The weather didn't look promising as Harry stepped out into the cold. The steely grey skies threatened rain once again and the cold air bit at his cheeks. Harry tightened his scarf around his neck and continued on. It was only a ten-minute walk to the local park, but at the nervous speed he was walking he did it in just over five. Poor Charlie had to jog in order for his little legs to keep up. Harry slowed down when he spotted Nikki leaning against a lamppost waiting for him; her arms were folded across her chest to keep her warmer and she, too, was wrapped up against the low temperatures. As Harry approached she looked up and smiled at him.

"Hi," he greeted stiffly.

"Good morning," she said, before bending down and making a fuss over Charlie, who was delighted to see her again.

"Shall we walk?" Harry asked. Nikki straightened up again and nodded. They turned right onto the gravel path that meandered through the large park. Harry bent down and released Charlie from the confinements of his lead, causing the dog to bound off across the wet grass. He heard Nikki chuckle slightly beside him.

They walked in silence for a minute, neither one of them knowing where to start. Different sentences were chasing each other around Harry's head, each one sounding more ridiculous than the last. Eventually, desperate to break the awkward atmosphere, he said the only thing that he could think of that was perfectly innocent.

"So Leo's asked me to organise a Christmas party at the lab," he told her. Nikki turned and looked at him.

"I know, he asked me to do it the other day but I refused," she said.

"So I'm his second choice?" Harry joked. "His last resort? That's nice, isn't it?"

Nikki snorted. "Well of course. You're a man; you don't know the first thing about organising something properly."

Harry looked at her indignantly. "Hey," he said. "I'll have you know that I have successfully planned several events."

"Oh yes? And what events would these be then?" Nikki asked sceptically.

"Well, there's been a many a..." Harry started, but faltered when he spotted Nikki watching him whilst stifling a grin. "Oh, go away," he said instead, causing her to laugh loudly. Harry chuckled, and for a moment it was as if normality had returned and nothing had happened between them. They were laughing, and joking, and teasing each other just as they had before. But of course, it wasn't normal. The laughing was forced, the joking was just Harry's defence mechanism and the teasing each other was how they hid their true feelings. It was far from normal.

Silence fell between them, this one more powerful and penetrating than the previous. Harry felt like crying and screaming and running away all at the same time, he just didn't know which was more preferable. Then Nikki suddenly spoke.

"So are we going to talk about it?" she asked quietly.

"Talk about what?"

"The letter that I wrote you. I know you read it, otherwise we wouldn't be here. So, do you want to talk about it?" she said.

Harry released a long breath through his nose, staring down at the ground as they slowly walked.

"I don't know what to say," he mumbled.

"Nor do I," Nikki said casually. "So we can struggle through it together."

"This wasn't a good idea," Harry said after a minute, still unable to meet Nikki's eye. "I should never have asked you to come."

Nikki sighed. "So why did you, Harry?"

"I don't know," he said truthfully. "I'm meant to be getting over you! Not inviting you out for a friendly little chat!" He couldn't stop the words spilling from his lips, couldn't help the volume level of his voice rising. "I knew that this wasn't going to bring us back together. I knew that, I'm not so naïve that I'd think otherwise! So why on earth did I say that I'd meet you today?"

He directed this last part at Nikki. She didn't say anything at first, but then seemed to realise that Harry was waiting for an answer.

"Because I asked you to in my letter. I said that I wanted things to go back to normal," she muttered.

"Exactly!" Harry cried. "It's right there, staring me in the face!"

He stopped walking and turned to Nikki.

"Because _you_ asked me to! I've been trying to get over you for a week now. I've got drunk, I've shouted at Leo, I've solved your dad's murder, I've said goodbye to you properly. I've even removed every possession that either belonged to you or reminded me of you from my apartment! I was moving on! I've felt better these last couple of days than I have in God knows how long."

Harry paused for a moment to take a breath, never breaking eye contact with Nikki. She looked close to tears. When he continued his voice was softer, quieter.

"And then you wrote me a letter," he said. "This beautiful, moving letter that actually makes me cry. Because it was from _you_. And you say that you _miss_ me, and that you're _sorry_, and you're _hurting_."

His voice cracked and he broke off, breathing heavily. Running a hand through his hair, Harry walked on a couple of paces before stopping and spinning around again.

"You think you're hurting?" he spat, cruelly. "I'm the one who's bloody well hurting! _You_ broke up with _me_, if you remember correctly! All I did was fall in love with you."

Tears were sliding down Nikki's cheeks, and she was making no attempt to wipe them away. "Harry, please..."

"I am not over you, Nikki. I'll _never_ be over you. That's why I did this," he explained, taking a step closer to her and placing his hands on the tops of her arms. She looked down at the floor, her tears plopping onto his shoes. "I bought myself here just to get hurt again. Seeing you properly and talking to you and laughing with you has just brought back everything that I've striven to get rid of these last few days. And that's not your fault, it's mine, so please don't get upset."

With his thumb Harry brushed the tears away, causing Nikki to look up at him and release a sob.

"They say that the person you care for the most is the person who you'll let hurt you the most, don't they?" he said quietly. Nikki closed her eyes and nodded into his hand. "Now I know what they mean."

She opened her eyes and looked at him, biting her lip in an attempt to stem the flow of tears. "If I could go back in time and..."

Harry nodded. "I know," he said gently, running his thumb across her cheek again. "But you can't. No one can. What happened, happened. We just have to learn to live with it."

"But that means..." Nikki trailed off, unwilling to admit the obvious. So Harry did it for her.

"It means we can't 'go back to normal', as you put it. I can't be around you, Nikki. We'll still see each other at work – and this goddam Christmas party – but I can't go back to the way things were. It wouldn't be fair on me, and as selfish as that sounds, getting myself back on track has to be my priority now."

Nikki nodded sadly, sobbing quietly once again. Harry felt a lump form in his throat as he watched her and had to take a deep breath to compose himself.

"This isn't going to help in any way, shape or form..." he started, then changed his mind. "Actually, it will probably make things worse..."

"No, say it. Please," Nikki whispered, her face just inches from his. Harry could see the tears clinging to her eyelashes.

"Okay. I love you, Nikki," he said honestly. "I always have and I always will. And I miss you too. So much that it physically hurts."

"Why are you telling me this?" she asked, her voice trembling.

Harry shrugged. "Just in case, one day, you might..." He took a deep breath. "You might change your mind and realise that you love me too."

Nikki released a long, quavering breath and didn't say anything. Harry smiled at her sadly for a second, before leaning in and pressing his lips to hers in a firm but gentle kiss. He knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't help it. The last time they'd kissed – properly kissed – he hadn't realised that it would be the last time. Now he did, he was going to make sure it was a kiss to remember.

His hands were either side of her face, his fingertips touching her soft blonde hair for the final time. He didn't deepen the kiss, he didn't need to. It wasn't the fierce, passionate sort that always leads to sex. It was the soft, meaningful kind that was like the whisper of a secret into the mouth rather than the ear.

Eventually they broke apart for need of air, but left their foreheads resting against each other. Harry closed his eyes, just relishing the moment for one last time before he knew that the inevitable was coming.

"I have to leave now," he breathed, forcing his eyes open again and pulling back.

"No, please," Nikki begged, grabbing his hand. Harry knew it had been a bad idea to kiss her. "Please don't go," she whispered, her hands gripping his shoulders and her face against the side of his. He could feel her tears on his cheeks. "Please."

"Nikki, I have to," he said softly, prising her fingers off and lowering her arms. "I have to."

She started to cry in earnest when he succeeded and took a step back from her. This time even he couldn't prevent the tear that slipped from his own eye.

"I love you," Harry told her, before finally turning his back to her and retracing his steps along the path they'd just taken. "Charlie, come on!" he called, his voice thick with emotion.

He didn't look back, and nor did Nikki come after him. Even so, Harry could still hear her crying and it broke his heart. That kiss had been stupid, it had just resurfaced all those buried feelings. It wasn't until he reached the end of the path and could see his car again, that he stopped and turned around.

Nikki was still stood exactly where he'd left her, and even from this distance he could see her body shaking as it was wracked with sobs. Harry bent down and clipped on Charlie's lead. The dog, too, was looking at Nikki, obviously confused as to why she wasn't with them still.

"I'm sorry, Charlie," Harry breathed as he pressed a kiss into the dog's fur. "It's just me and you again."

When he straightened up, Harry pulled out his mobile phone and dialled a very familiar number.

_"Professor Dalton."_

"Leo, it's me," Harry said shakily, never removing his gaze from Nikki's figure in the distance, blurry because of the tears in his eyes.

_"Harry? Are you okay?"_ his boss asked, evidently concerned.

"Umm... not really," Harry confessed. "Look, can you do me a favour?"

_"Sure,"_ Leo agreed._ "What is it?"_

"You know the park near my apartment?"

_"Yes..."_ Leo said slowly, waiting for the rest.

"Well, if you drive there you'll find Nikki about fifty metres to the right of the main entrance gate. She's cold and it looks as if it might rain so bring one of her thicker coats and an umbrella. Also... she's crying and upset, so you might want to make sure you've got some clean tissues in your pocket," Harry said, fighting back the sob that was threatening to escape his lips. "Just... Come and get her and take her home."

_"Of course I will. But Harry, what-"_

However, Harry never heard the rest of Leo's question because he hung up his phone and slipped it back into his pocket, before turning his back to Nikki once again and walking out of the park.

* * *

**I have to say, I did not see this being as emotional as it actually was. This chapter has surprised even me. It would appear that they are off again. Oh deary me, it's been on, maybe off, maybe on, definitely off, then a letter so maybe on again, and now very much off. What a rollercoaster (and a nightmare to write!). However, I promise you that either at the end of the next chapter or the one after that, all this will come to a head and you'll find out whether I decided on the reunion or another goodbye to end the story (and I mean a proper quitting-the-job-and-leaving-the-country goodbye).**

**I know, I'm very mean and you all hate me ;) But you have to admit, it's stopped this story getting stale and boring! Plus, I have had some amazing reviews, so thank you soooo much! Keep them coming! :P**

**Oh, also, I apologise for any typos or not-properly-written bits in this chapter. I am ill with a horrible bad cold and it's very late, so it might not be up to scratch. **

**Love you all!  
****xxx**


	25. What Becomes of the Broken Hearted

**Chapter 25:** What Becomes of the Broken Hearted

Alcohol seemed to be the most appealing at the moment. But then again, it was only eleven o'clock in the morning. What about something to eat? Something sickly and sweet and bad for you. It had to be better than getting drunk.

Harry sighed and ran his hands through his hair, in the stressed way that he often did. He didn't want to drink, he didn't want to eat. What he did want was just to run back to that park, gather Nikki in his arms and tell her that it was all going to be okay; that everything was going to turn out just fine. Except it wasn't. He knew that, she knew that. Nothing was ever going to be okay again.

Forcing back the tears, Harry climbed up from the sofa and padded into his kitchen. Rifling through his cupboards, not really knowing what he was looking for, his thoughts strayed to Nikki once more. But she'd be okay. Leo would look after her, he was good like that. He seemed to have some sort of paternal instinct when it came to the pair of them, like it was his job to make sure that they were all right. Pulling a box of fudge that had been shoved right at the back of the cupboard out, Harry briefly glanced to make sure the sell-by date hadn't expired, before retreating back to his sofa and opening it up.

Sugar always seemed to make him feel better. It had done as a child. When his father had died Harry remembered gorging on an entire chocolate cake that his mum had made just the day before. It had caused him immense stomach pain afterwards, but when he had been sat there eating it, hidden under the kitchen table, he had actually felt a little better.

Harry had been steadily working his way through the box of fudge for ten minutes when there was a knock at the door. He groaned and just popped another square of the sweet substance into his mouth. He knew who that would be; he'd almost been waiting for it.

"It's open," he called, and heard the front door click as the visitor stepped into his apartment.

Leo took one look at Harry and the fudge and sighed. "Mind you, it's better than I thought," he said dryly. "I was expecting some sort of alcoholic substance to be involved."

Harry didn't say anything. He wasn't sure whether Leo was angry with him or not. He ate some more fudge.

"You're going to make yourself sick," Leo reprimanded, but Harry ignored him.

"How's Nikki?" he asked instead.

Leo released a long breath and sunk down onto the sofa next to Harry. "Devastated about something, but she won't tell me what. Didn't say a word the whole time we were in the car and went straight to her room when we arrived home. Are you going to tell me what happened?"

Harry decided that the fudge alone wasn't going to be enough for a conversation like that, so, without warning, he got up and crossed the room to the kitchen quickly. Pulling a glass out of the cupboard, he then grabbed a bottle of his favourite scotch. When he sat back down again, Leo glanced at the bottle reprovingly.

"That's more like the Harry I know," he said, a slightly sad edge to his voice.

"I'm sorry, do you want some?" Harry asked casually, half-way up to fetch another glass.

Leo pulled a face and looked pointedly at the clock. "I think I'll pass," he said. Harry shrugged before pouring out some of the thick brown liquid and downing it in one then refilling his glass. He saw Leo grimace out of the corner of his eye.

"Harry..." the older man started. "What happened? I thought you were trying to move on from Nikki?"

"I was. I am. We just met up for a chat, that's all," Harry replied shortly, really not in the mood for one of Leo's rants.

"A chat?" Leo repeated. "A chat about what? Nikki was in a right state."

"All right, there's no need to make me feel any worse, Leo," Harry frowned, gulping down some more scotch quickly followed by another cube of fudge.

"What did you _do_?" Leo asked, nonplussed.

"I'm a bastard, Leo," Harry muttered, staring down at the carpet. "I'm a complete and utter bastard." He refilled his glass for the third time.

"Tell me," Leo said firmly. There was something reassuring about his voice, something calming. Harry decided to just take the plunge.

"Nikki wrote me this letter yesterday saying how she wanted everything to go back to normal, back to how we were before. She said that she missed me and she was sorry. So I told her that I'd meet her this morning and we could talk."

"Okay..." Leo said slowly.

Harry sighed. "I knew that she didn't want to get back together with me. I knew that yesterday and this morning. I knew that me seeing her would just resurface all those feelings that I've tried so hard to bury." He paused to eat some more fudge and drink some more scotch and then continued. "I also knew that I couldn't give her what she wanted. I _knew_ all that. But I still met her this morning."

"Why?" Leo asked quietly.

Harry raised his shoulders. "Just to see her, I guess. I still love her, Leo. But because I'd agreed to meet her I'd planted this false hope in her head that I was willing to try and forget that she had ended things with me, and just go back to how things were before."

Leo nodded in understanding. "You told her, today, that things weren't ever going back to normal, didn't you?"

"Yes. I broke her heart," Harry muttered sourly, before draining his glass once again. He could feel himself getting steadily more intoxicated. "I just... I can't be around her, Leo."

"I know. It must be impossible for you," Leo said.

"When I'm with Nikki, even if we're on opposite sides of the room, all I can remember is what I had, and consequently, what I've lost. It's too painful to talk to her, there's no way I can go back to being just friends, it would kill me. And seeing as she doesn't feel the same way about me as I do her, I don't hold out much hope of a romantic reunion, either."

"Harry..."

"You understand, don't you?" Harry asked Leo, somewhat desperately. "You understand why I did what I did."

Leo nodded. "I understand."

"I just couldn't do it, Leo! I can't just be friends with her again when I love her so much!" Harry cried, his voice cracking slightly.

"I know, Harry, I know..." Leo soothed, placing a comforting hand on Harry's shoulder.

"And I hate that I love her so much!" Harry continued, unrelenting. "I hate myself for everything that I've done to her and I hate her for everything that she's done to me! But then there's that stupid part of me that I've no control over that loves Nikki with all of my heart!" He released a long breath and leant forward with his elbows on his knees and his head pressed to his clammy palms.

"When did everything get so messy?" Leo asked to no one in particular. There was silence for a minute or two, until Harry suddenly groaned.

"I feel sick."

"Yes, well... Half a bottle of scotch and a box of fudge will do that to you," Leo said dryly.

Harry groaned again, letting his eyes close and taking a deep breath. "It's not just that. Everything's so screwed up. If only Nikki could love me back."

Leo looked about to reply, but before he could say anything Harry had sat bolt upright, one hand clamped over his mouth. He could feel the clamminess of his face, but could only guess how much paler than normal he looked.

Unable to respond to Leo's concern, Harry fled from the room and only just made it to the bathroom in time before he vomited violently into the toilet. Shaking, he sat on the cold tiled floor and tried to catch his breath, wiping his mouth with a piece of toilet roll. When he was certain that he wasn't going to throw up again, Harry climbed to his feet and slowly walked over to the sink, leaning on the edge of it to gain some support.

He looked at himself in the mirror on the wall. His reflection stared back at him, pale and sweaty. Tears were rolling down his cheeks; tears that he hadn't even been aware were there. He didn't look like himself anymore. Something had gone, some spark from his eyes. Now they were just... empty. Feeling desperate anger wash over him, Harry punched out at the mirror with a furious growl.

His knuckles connected with a sickening crunch of broken glass. The fragments tinkled into the sink as they fell from their frame, and Harry realised just what he'd done. He released a sob as the pain and reality hit him all at once. Blood was trickling down his fingers, warm and sticky. Hot, salty tears dripped from his cheeks and fell on his knuckles, causing him to wince with even more pain.

Harry turned his back to the sink and leant against the wall, leaning his head back and sobbing loudly. He sunk down slowly until he had his knees pulled up under his chin. His eyes were screwed up tightly, unable to face the world.

Then he heard a knock on his bathroom door.

"Harry? Are you okay? What was that noise?" Leo asked. Harry could hear the concern in his voice, but this did nothing to make him feel better; he didn't deserve anyone's worry after what he did to Nikki that morning.

When Leo didn't get a reply he just opened the door and stepped into the bathroom. Harry watched as a crease formed between his boss's eyebrows as he observed the scene. Then his eyes fell on Harry sat on the floor, and his expression softened immediately. He didn't ask questions, something Harry was very grateful for. He wouldn't have been able to answer why he had done it even if Leo had asked.

"Come on, let's get you sorted out," the older man said quietly, extending his hand to Harry.

Harry looked up at it, hesitating for a moment. Leo raised his eyebrows but waited, and a moment later Harry clasped Leo's hand with his good one. Smiling, Leo pulled him to his feet.

"I didn't... I mean, I'm not..." Harry stuttered, no idea how to justify his actions.

"I know," Leo said as they walked back through to the lounge. "You're angry at yourself and you needed to take your frustration out on something."

Harry nodded, only just appreciating then how well Leo knew him. Though he couldn't work out if this was a good thing or not.

Leo led Harry into the kitchen and sat him at one of the breakfast bar stools. He passed the younger man a glass of water before reaching into a cabinet for the first aid kit. Harry watched him as he pulled out a pair of tweezers.

"Err, what are you planning on doing with those?" he asked nervously. Leo sat on a stool opposite him and smiled.

"Making sure there are no more bits of mirror in the cuts. I can't do anything else until I've done that."

Harry tried not to look like too much of a wuss as Leo prodded about his hand with the tweezers, but he couldn't help but grimace.

"Why am I such an idiot, Leo?" he asked bitterly.

Leo laughed humourlessly. "How long have you got?"

Harry ignored this. "I just seem to mess up everything good in my life. Nikki's never going to speak to me ever again, is she?"

"I don't know, Harry."

Harry sighed, but took a sharp intake of breath when Leo started dabbing some antiseptic onto his hand. "Some warning would have been nice!"

"Sorry," Leo smiled. "I'm nearly done. I won't put a bandage on; it won't really do it much good. It looks worse than it actually is. It's mostly bruising, which is going to be incredibly sore for the next few days, but other than that it's just scratches. Even so, it wasn't the cleverest thing you've ever done, Harry."

"Yes, I'm aware of that," Harry said flatly.

"Look," Leo said quietly. "If you and Nikki are meant to be, then you will be. If you're not, well..."

"Are you supposed to be making me feel better?" Harry asked, eyebrows raised.

Leo shook his head despairingly. "Just so you know, I'm here for you if you need me. I've got to be better than processed sugar, haven't I?"

Harry groaned. "Don't mention that stuff to me. I've never eating fudge again. Ever!"

Laughing, Leo stood up from the stool and started to pack away the first aid kit. As he was doing so, a mobile phone started ringing. Harry's mobile phone. He frowned.

"I thought you were on call today?" he asked Leo, assuming that it was about work.

"I am."

His eyebrows furrowed, Harry walked across the room and picked up his phone from the coffee table. When he saw the caller-ID his heart plummeted.

"Are you going to answer that?" Leo asked, somewhat amusedly.

"It's Nikki," Harry said, causing Leo's smile to fade. His hand shaking, he pressed the 'accept call' button and put the phone gingerly to his ear.

"Nikki?" he asked tentatively.

_"Hey," _she said softly.

"What... I mean, are you okay?" Harry said, at a loss for what to say.

_"Yes. Well, no, not really. I was just wondering if I could talk to you?"_

Harry raised his eyebrows in surprise. She didn't sound angry at him like he thought she would.

"Umm... Sure, why not? Do you want to come over?" he asked her, half-hoping that she wouldn't.

_"Okay. I'll see you in a minute,"_ she said, before hanging up the phone. Harry put his mobile in his pocket, still in shock.

"What did she want?" Leo asked.

"To come over here and talk to me," Harry told him, confused. "I don't know what about though. Not after this morning..."

He became lost in thought for a moment. What on earth could Nikki want to talk to him about? However, this was soon interrupted by a knock at the door. Frowning, he crossed the room to open it, only to find Nikki stood there, her mobile phone in her hand. There was no way that she could have got from Leo's house to there that quickly, Harry concluded; she must have been stood on his doorstep when she called.

"I've been trying to pluck up the courage to knock for a while," she said sheepishly, avoiding Harry's gaze.

"Oh," he said, unable to think of anything else. He stepped back to let Nikki in.

"Leo!" she exclaimed in surprise as she entered the lounge. "So this is where you ran off to."

"Yes," Leo nodded. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. There's just something that I wanted to tell Harry. I'll explain when I get home," Nikki said, confusing Harry even more. She didn't sound angry, or even that upset. Unable to just stand there while Nikki and Leo spoke, he started tidying up the coffee table, reaching out for the scotch and box of fudge. Then there was a gasp.

"What did you do to your hand?!"

Harry straightened up before exchanging a quick glance with Leo. "Err... I lost my temper with the bathroom mirror," he confessed.

Nikki's eyes were wide with shock.

"But it's okay. It's not as bad as it looks, apparently," Harry added quickly.

"I'm going to go, give the pair of you some privacy," Leo said, gathering his coat. "Just don't go putting on a repeat performance of this morning."

"We won't," Harry said firmly. "Leo, thanks for everything. You know, with my hand and... everything else."

"Don't mention it, Harry," Leo smiled, clapping the younger man on the shoulder. "I'll see you at work in the morning. I'll let myself out."

He left the room, leaving Harry and Nikki alone. An awkward silence fell, the memories of that morning's argument fresh in their minds.

"So," Harry asked, trying to hide his nervousness. "What did you want to talk about?"

* * *

**Another chapter! Should upload the next one relatively soon too. I'm going to get writing on it straight away, because I kind of know how it is going to go.  
****Oh, and once again I apologise for this chapter. I tried not to make depressed and angsty Harry too out-of-character. We all know he has a temper! :)  
****Loveage!  
Charlotte xx  
P.S. ****One more thing; the chapter after the next one is the one to look out for. S'all I'm saying! ;) Haha, I can't wait to see your reactions to it... **


	26. Never Say Never

**Chapter 26:** Never Say Never

"So," Harry asked, trying to hide his nervousness. "What did you want to talk about?"

Nikki took her time before answering. She walked around his apartment with the air of someone in a mildly entertaining art gallery, obviously trying to see how much it had changed since she'd left. Eventually she stopped pacing and perched on the edge of the sofa.

"I had a phone call from DI Hartfield a little while ago," she told him quietly.

Harry's eyes widened and he hastened to sit down next to her, all the time making sure he wasn't too close. "You did? What did he say? Nothing's wrong, is it?"

"No, nothing's wrong. He just wanted to tell me that since Jermaine Wallace found out that we had the evidence to put him in jail – the evidence that _you_ found – he's changed his plea to guilty. He's confessed everything." A smile broke over her face, and for the first time since her arrival she looked Harry in the eye. "There's not going to be a trial anymore, now that he's confessed. It will just be one hearing early next week for him to hear his sentence. Which means no dragging out the case for months on end, no waiting for the jury to come to a decision. He's actually going to get what he deserves. And it's all thanks to you, Harry."

Harry was smiling too. He knew how much Nikki had been dreading her father's case going to trial. For a moment he forgot all about what had happened that morning. "That's amazing, Nikki. That's really, really good."

Without thinking, he reached out and placed his hand over hers on her knee. His bruised and bloodied hand. Both his and Nikki's eyes fell upon his battered knuckles, and there was a moment's silence. Harry quickly withdrew his hand again.

"You punched the bathroom mirror?" Nikki asked softly.

"Yes," Harry said shortly. He couldn't understand why Nikki was so calm and collected. He supposed it was just the elation at this news about her father distracting her from the awkwardness between them.

"Why?"

Harry shrugged. "I was angry. Angry at myself, angry at-" He stopped before he said it. However, he needn't have worried.

"Angry at me," Nikki sighed, completing his sentence.

"Not just you," Harry corrected. "It was everyone. Everything. I lashed out." He stopped talking and looked down at his feet, wondering whether to voice his real concerns about what he'd done. He would have done by now if things were okay between him and Nikki.

"Harry..." Nikki said gently, but trailed off. Then she added, "I know what you're thinking. And just so you know, this doesn't make you a violent person."

Harry briefly wondered why he didn't have this conversation with Leo. Even after everything that had happened to them, Nikki still knew him better than anyone.

"Doesn't it?" he asked bitterly.

"No. It makes you human. Everyone loses their temper from time to time. I know I have," she told him with a tiny smile. Still not entirely convinced, he just nodded and looked down at the floor. Nikki wasn't giving up that easily though.

"Harry, look at me," she said firmly. He did as he was told, trying to ignore the jolt in his stomach as his eyes connected with hers. "It doesn't make you like your father just because you lashed out once. You make your own decisions. The fact that you're worried about all this just proves that you're not him."

Harry gave her a sad smile. They hadn't talked like this since she left him. He still wasn't sure why they were suddenly able to now.

"Do you remember the last time we had this conversation?" he asked quietly. Nikki nodded. "Do you remember what it was that you said to me afterwards?"

"Of course, and I meant every word," she told him sincerely.

"What about now? Am I still the first person you call?"

"Now... things are different. I don't know anymore," she admitted quietly. Harry sighed, and there was an awkward silence between them for a moment.

"Nikki, about this morning-" he started, but she cut across him.

"It doesn't matter."

"No, it does matter. It matters a lot," Harry persisted. "I'm sorry. I should never have agreed to meet you; it just gave you false hope. It wasn't fair on you. And I definitely shouldn't have kissed you. So I'm sorry."

Nikki's eyes sparkled as she turned to him. "Everything that you said this morning was true. I understand why you can't go back to how we were; why you can't just settle for friends again. Because, the truth is, I don't think I could either."

Harry stared at her. What was she saying? Before he had a chance to ask, however, she continued.

"And definitely don't be sorry about kissing me. I'd forgotten just how much I'd missed that bit. But Harry, I'm so messed up at the moment, what with my dad, and you, and living with Leo – which I have to admit does have its flaws – that I can't trust myself. I have to take whatever my head is telling me with a pinch of salt, I really do. You said this morning that you had to get yourself back on track, but you're not the only one. I do too. And until I do I can't even begin to think about us."

"I understand," Harry said, though he wasn't entirely sure that he did.

"So I'm not saying never. I'm saying maybe one day," she smiled. Harry nodded.

"Maybe one day? That's good enough for me," he replied.

"I know things can't go back to normal, but we can at least be civil to each other rather than existing in a world of frosty silences," she added.

Harry grinned. "Oh, I think we can manage that."

Nikki stood up and released a long breath. "Well, that's all I came to say," she told him.

Harry followed her to the front door.

"Thank you for coming round," he said. Nikki looked about to kiss him on the cheek, but she obviously thought better of it and just smiled at him instead.

"I'll see you, Harry," she said, stepping out into the hall. Harry just nodded and watched her leave until she rounded the corner and he could no longer see her. He shut his front door, leaning against it and sighing heavily.

That went surprisingly well. They didn't argue, there were no tears or inappropriate kisses. Actually, it went _very_ well. Harry realised that he was smiling; genuinely smiling. She didn't say that it was the end for them, she said 'maybe one day'. That meant that there was hope. His heart swelled for the first time in days.

However, then he remembered that getting your hopes up never tended to end well. He'd have to just not dwell on it too much, try and put it from his mind. He did have this ridiculous Christmas party to organise. That would keep him busy. At least, for the time being.

*

The next day and Harry went into work feeling decidedly happier, even if his hand was aching painfully. But he knew that the paracetemol that he'd taken for it should start to kick in soon. There was no one around as Harry entered the lab, no noise to accompany him other than the low hum of the computers. As he stopped behind his desk and removed his coat and scarf however, he noticed Leo walking towards him.

"Good morning?" he asked. It was clearly a question.

"Yes. Yes, I think it is," Harry smiled.

"Thank God for that," Leo said, "I thought I was going to have to put up with you sulking all day."

"Oh thanks, Leo," Harry replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Leo laughed. "Nikki said that the pair of you actually had a good talk yesterday?"

"Yes, we did. We sorted a few things out, anyway."

"That's great, Harry. I'm really pleased for you. You certainly look a lot happier than you have done this past week. Mind you, how's your hand? It looks painful."

"It is," Harry said grimly, lifting his hand to examine his bruised knuckles. They were puffy and swollen.

"Hmm... Give it a couple of days and if it doesn't get better then you should probably go to a doctor," Leo said thoughtfully.

Harry tried to look offended. "I am a doctor!"

"A _proper_ doctor, Harry."

Harry laughed. "Okay, okay. Or, I could just get Nikki to have a look at it."

Leo smiled, but it looked strained.

"What is it?" Harry asked, his own grin fading.

"I know that you and Nikki are on better terms at the moment, but don't go getting ahead of yourself. She's not going to have woken up this morning and suddenly realised that she's madly in love with you."

Harry frowned, his happiness dissipating somewhat considerably. "I know that."

"Well, just as long as you do," Leo said, before flashing Harry a quick smile and returning to his office. Still frowning, Harry sunk down into his chair and contemplated what Leo had said. His boss had been right, that he did know. But there was still this small part of him that had this feeling like everything might just turn out okay.

Smiling once again, Harry stood up from his desk with a pad of paper and pen in his hand. As he walked across to Leo's office, he passed Nikki, who had obviously just arrived, judging from the way her cheeks were tinged with cold.

"Good morning," she said, smiling awkwardly.

"Hi," Harry said, returning her smile. Then she went in the opposite direction and Harry continued on his quest to speak to Leo.

"Leo?" he asked as he stuck his head around his boss's office door. "How many litres of alcohol am I to order for this goddam Christmas party?"

Leo laughed and beckoned Harry in further. He sat down on the other side of the desk, pen at the ready.

"Let's start with who we're inviting, shall we? Then we can go from there," Leo smiled.

Harry nodded. "Okay. So there's me, you and Nikki. The lab techs... err... I don't think we actually know that many people, Leo."

Leo threw him a withering look. "You, me, Nikki, the lab techs, the Dean, the receptionists, everyone from toxicology-"

"Hang on, you want to invite toxicology?" Harry interrupted sceptically. "Do you want to be bored to death all night?"

"Harry, they work here too. Just invite everyone who works in this building. And, of course, we'll have to have a 'plus one' on the invitation for their partners. But no kids."

"That's a lot of invitations," Harry muttered, scribbling a note on his paper.

"Send a group email," Leo suggested.

Harry looked up at him and nodded appreciatively. "That's actually not a bad idea."

"Okay, food..." Leo continued. "Nothing too posh or expensive – this is coming out of the department's budget, after all."

"Tight wad," Harry mumbled, and he saw the corners of Leo's mouth twitch.

"I'm ignoring that," his boss said. "Just get finger food. Sandwiches, sausage rolls, that sort of thing."

"Ooh, yummy," Harry said with mock enthusiasm. Leo ignored him.

"Don't get too much alcohol. The last thing we want is someone throwing up in my potted geranium, like they did at that New Year party we had a couple of years ago," he said mutinously, the memory obviously still very painful to relive. Harry snorted. "Get some beers, wines, that sort of thing. No ridiculously expensive champagne, either!"

"Oh," Harry sighed. "I was looking forward to having an excuse to get some decent bubbly."

Leo shook his head. "Will you take this seriously?"

"I am! I don't know why you aren't planning it, you seem to know exactly what you want to get," Harry protested.

"I'm letting you plan it because it will provide a welcome distraction from... other things."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Okay. Let's get on with it then. What about decorations?"

"Now I don't mind if you do want to spend a little bit more of these. The last thing we want is for it all to look cheap and tacky."

"Yes, that's the last thing we want," Harry said quietly, trying to stifle a smile. Leo tutted at him and continued.

"I'll let you choose which decorations to get. Make sure you get a tree though. Oh, we forgot about music!" Leo realised suddenly. "Get one of those Christmas CDs. Make sure it's got all the good cheesy songs on it. Everyone loves cheesy Christmas songs."

"Speak for yourself. When do we want to have this godforsaken thing then? As near to Christmas as we possibly can, really, don't we? There's always the day before Christmas Eve – the 23rd?"

Leo hastily thumbed through diary in front of him on his desk, causing Harry to roll his eyes.

"Yes, I think the 23rd sounds good. That's only seventeen days away, though. You'd better get a move on with all this."

"Yes, Leo," Harry sighed. He stood up from the chair, making his way across the office. "You know," he added when he reached the door. "I expect a pay-rise if I'm to do all this."

"Get out of here!" Leo laughed. Harry grinned and left, walking back to his own desk. Nikki was working quietly away at hers.

"What was that all about?" she asked, keeping her eyes trained on the paper in front of her.

"This Christmas party that I'm supposed to be organising," Harry explained. "You'll be going, won't you?"

Nikki looked up at him, a small smile on her face. "Yes, I'll be going."

Harry smiled too. "Good. That's good."

He thought he saw her blush slightly – perhaps it was something he was unable to keep out of the tone of his voice, but he must have imagined it because when she stood a second later and made the excuse that she had a body to PM, she looked perfectly normal.

Still, Harry couldn't help but keep smiling. Maybe this Christmas party wasn't such a bad idea after all.

* * *

**Another chapter! You lucky things ;)  
****I know the latter half of this is quite boring, but I needed something to bulk it out. The next chapter... Ooh, I can't wait! :D  
****The more reviews, the quicker you get the next chapter! The chapter that I have been hinting about for aaages now, and spent as equally long on debating what should happen in it!  
****Love you all!**

**xxx**


	27. The Planets Bend Between Us

**Chapter 27**: The Planets Bend Between Us

Harry was examining his reflection in the mirror on the door of his wardrobe. He'd planned this party to within an inch of his life, but had never discussed with Leo what the dress-code was. Now the night of the aforementioned party had arrived extraordinarily quickly, and he had no idea what to wear. Normally he wouldn't worry, normally he'd just throw on whatever was nearest to hand, but this wasn't a normal party. It was the first time since their break up that he and Nikki would be in a social environment that wasn't work, but had the added risk of alcohol and festive celebrations.

Nothing had changed between them. Despite their agreement to avoid any frosty silences, there had still been a few. Usually when it was just the two of them in the room, and they ran out of neutral topics to talk about. Even when they were getting along fine, you could still cut the tension with a knife. It was because Harry was constantly on tenterhooks – despite Leo's initial forewarnings – waiting for this 'maybe one day' that Nikki had led him to believe would happen. He knew he shouldn't, knew it was a bad idea, but it was always there, niggling in the back of his brain from the minute he woke up: 'would today be the day?'.

But now, twenty-three days after breaking up with Nikki, Harry realised that he needed to stop hoping. Her feelings towards him obviously hadn't changed since all those weeks ago, and they didn't look as if they were going to anytime soon. He needed something to distract himself from the all-consuming thoughts about where he stood with her. But usually when he felt like this he went out on the pull and ended up having a fling with some random – sometimes desperate – girl. He wasn't proud of it, but it just used to be what he did. But now... now he felt too mature for that, like years had passed since those days, not a matter of weeks.

Sighing, Harry eventually settled for his new jeans and a thin, navy, cashmere jumper that his mother had bought him for his birthday. He put a white t-shirt on underneath for added warmth. Once satisfied with how he looked, Harry smiled at his reflection and went into the bathroom. He wasn't really sure why he was going to so much effort; he didn't even _want_ to go to this party, he never had done. But Leo had been relying on him, and Nikki was going... No, this effort wasn't for her benefit. That ship was well and truly sunk. Wasn't it? Shaking his head and mentally scolding himself, Harry pulled himself back into reality.

A couple of sprays of aftershave later, and Harry was out of the bathroom and ready to go. He'd set everything up earlier that afternoon – with a little help from Leo – so didn't need to be there early or anything. But then again, maybe getting there first would be a good thing. After quickly saying goodbye to Charlie, Harry grabbed a blazer to wear over his jumper and left his apartment.

Darkness had fallen when he exited his building. He shivered slightly in the cold and didn't delay getting into his car, putting the heater on full blast. Normally Harry liked this time of year. The general air of festivity that surrounded everything, the cosy evenings wrapped up warm with a glass of wine and a good film, Christmas Day itself. Mind you, he certainly wasn't looking forward to that this year. Usually he, Nikki and Leo spent it together, and Harry wouldn't have it any other way. Nikki would usually turn up at his house at the crack of dawn, a huge smile on her face and a bulging bag of presents tucked under her arms. She would wait impatiently for him to get ready and then he would drive them both over to Leo's – who would always moan about the time but wouldn't be able to wipe the smile off his face.

Sighing, Harry pulled himself back to reality. Christmas wasn't going to be like that this year. Things were too awkward between him and Nikki. Besides, she lived with Leo now; she didn't need to turn up on his doorstep anymore. She was probably never going to turn up on his doorstep again.

It didn't take Harry long to arrive back at the place he'd only left a couple of hours previously. As he'd expected, there weren't very many cars there. He really was early. He killed the engine and just sat for a moment. They hadn't specified what time this thing was going to finish. All of a sudden, Harry had become very nervous. It was all very well him and Nikki getting along for the sake of making their jobs easier, but it was a whole different situation at something like a party. Somewhere they'd normally stick together for the whole night, while Leo deemed it best for him to mingle with his staff.

He took a deep breath in, exhaled it through his nose, and climbed from his car. The whole place was very quiet at the moment – something he knew would change soon enough. The corridors and rooms of the whole building had either had their lights dimmed considerably or were in darkness. Then he entered their offices.

It looked so much better than it had done earlier in the afternoon now that it was dark. The whole room had been cleared of desks to make it into a large open space, except for the tables that lined the edge and provided a place to put food and drink. Fairy lights draped the walls and wound around table legs, mistletoe had been hung in various points across the ceiling and an 8ft tree stood in the corner, decorated to perfection. Despite his deadpan attitude towards this whole thing, Harry had to admit it did look pretty impressive.

"Oh good, you're here early," came Leo's voice.

Harry turned around and smiled at his boss. "So are you."

"I never left. Didn't think there was much point," Leo explained. "I'm glad you've arrived though. Janet will be here soon with the food. She's our caterer."

"I wondered who you were getting to do that!" Harry exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell me Janet had to cook all that food? I could have helped her."

"You were busy getting all this set up. It looks pretty good, doesn't it? I almost don't want it to go back to how it was."

"I do," Harry said bluntly. "It looks like an explosion in Santa's grotto in here."

Leo tutted. "Anyway, we're going to have to sort all the food and drink out before everyone else gets here in," he checked his watch, "half an hour."

At that precise moment Janet stepped through the doors, which had been left open for ease of everyone coming and going. Balanced rather precariously in her arms were trays and platters of the 'finger food' that Leo had ordered Harry to buy.

"Hi guys," she said with a smile. "Where am I putting this?"

Harry and Leo hastily cleared a table and Janet placed the food down with the sort of care and attention that only a woman would use as to where each thing should go.

"There's plenty more where this came from in my car," she informed them. "Now who's going to help me bring it in?"

Harry and Leo looked at each other and groaned. "I'll do it," Harry said eventually.

He followed Janet back down the car park and couldn't help admiring how nice she looked. Her navy-blue, knee length dress flattered her figure perfectly.

"Looking as lovely as ever tonight, I see," he grinned.

Janet blushed slightly, but smiled. "You're looking rather dapper yourself, Harry. For anyone's benefit in particular?"

Harry's grin faded. "No," he muttered, looking down at the tarmac of the car park.

"Oh, Harry, I'm sorry," Janet said immediately. "I forgot..."

"I wish I could forget," Harry said miserably. "But Nikki is all I think about."

Janet leant against her car for a moment, playing with the keys in her hands absentmindedly as she looked at Harry thoughtfully.

"Are you sure it's over between you and Nikki?" she asked.

Harry nodded. "She doesn't love me like I love her."

Janet smiled sympathetically. "Then perhaps this party is exactly what you need to make her realise that she does actually love you."

Harry laughed humourlessly. "And how am I supposed to make her realise that then?"

Janet didn't reply straight away, but opened the boot of her car. As she dumped a plastic box full of what looked like breadsticks and dips in Harry's arms, she said, "You're an intelligent man, Harry. I'm sure you'll think of something."

Confused and also slightly amused, Harry walked back inside. "You're girlfriend is talking in riddles, Leo," he said when he reached the offices again, placing the box down on the table with a relieved sigh.

"What are you on about?" Leo asked with a frown.

"Janet. She said that maybe this party is what I need to 'make Nikki realise that she's in love with me', or something like that."

Leo looked thoughtful for a moment, but then he seemed to realise something and smiled. "Maybe she's right."

"What? Don't you start," Harry said, but Leo was halfway out the door.

"I'm going to go and give her a hand," he said, and then he was gone.

Harry just stood there in the middle of the room, utterly perplexed. "What has happened to everyone?" he muttered quietly to himself. Shaking his head, he set about sorting out the music for what he had a feeling was going to be a very long night.

*

Half an hour later and people had begun to arrive. The cheesy music that Leo had wanted so much was playing loudly and the alcohol was already flowing. Mainly into Harry's cup, but that was beside the point. There was still no sign of Nikki.

His plastic cup freshly refilled with beer, Harry wandered over to where Leo and Janet were stood.

"You've done an amazing job with all this, Harry," Janet smiled, gesturing to the decorations.

"Only because I had Leo breathing down the back of my neck the whole time," Harry said.

Leo laughed. "Will you lighten up? It's nearly Christmas, have some fun."

"I don't feel like having fun," was Harry's reply.

Leo just rolled his eyes and turned to Janet. Feeling very much the gooseberry, Harry sighed and crossed the room to the doors. He needed some fresh air. The party had only been going ten minutes and he already wanted to go home.

Outside the music was muffled and it was impossible to distinguish the individual words of the song. Harry preferred it. It was peaceful, quiet. He perched on a low wall that ran along the edge of the car park and ran a hand over his hot face. It was cold out here, but oddly refreshing. After a couple of minutes he noticed movement on the other side of several cars, and saw Nikki leaning against a lamppost. Her arms were folded across her chest and she was looking up at the cloudless sky. She was wearing a long, thick coat that completely masked whatever dress she was wearing. Concerned, Harry walked over to her.

She looked up, startled, as he approached but then saw it was him and relaxed.

"What are you doing out here?" Harry asked quietly.

Nikki shrugged. "Preparing myself to go in, I guess. What about you?"

"Preparing myself to go _back_ in," he said dryly.

Nikki snorted. "That bad?"

"Worse. Leo's got Janet this year which means I am stood there like the proverbial spare part while they're all over each other."

Nikki raised her eyebrows. "Leo and Janet? All over each other?"

"Well... Maybe not 'all over each other'," Harry conceded and Nikki laughed. "But I'm still stood there like a lemon while they're having their own conversation."

"It's nice that they're happy," she said. Harry, knowing her so well, could hear the wistful tone to her voice.

"It's annoying," he deadpanned.

Nikki gave him a small smile. "Are you coming in?"

"I suppose so."

The pair of them walked inside together, and Harry couldn't say it was a comfortable silence. He knew that they were both remembering how parties like this used to be. However, that all stopped mattering when the approached the room where it was all happening. They stopped just before entering.

"You ready for this?" Harry asked jokily.

Nikki nodded, then realised something. "Oh, wait a minute. Let me take this hideous coat off," she said, hastily undoing the buttons.

"It's not hi-" But whatever Harry was going to say flew from his mind when Nikki finally removed her coat and flung it onto the large pile of everyone else's behind her. She looked... beautiful. There was no other word for it. The black satin of her knee-length dress hugged her curves in a way that nothing else could. At the end of her bare legs Harry noticed her favourite pair of patent black Christian Louboutin's. Then he realised he hadn't said anything in a while.

"It's not too much, is it?" Nikki asked nervously as she hoisted the top of her dress up slightly.

Harry swallowed hard. "No," he said quietly. "It's not too much. Shall we go in?"

He led the way back into the throng of the party, unable to look at Nikki when she was looking like that. By the time he'd fought his way to the food table and turned around, she had gone. Sighing miserably, Harry hardly noticed someone appear at his elbow.

"Hi, Doctor Cunningham!"

It was Daisy, a young lab tech. Her face was flushed from the quantity of wine she'd been consuming, and her giggle was an octave or two higher than normal.

"Hi, Daisy," Harry said distractedly, picking at a silver platter of volauvents.

"I saw you setting all this up this afternoon. It's wonderful!" Daisy exclaimed, very enthusiastically. Too enthusiastically. Harry turned to face her.

"Thank you. Have you... bought anyone with you here tonight?" he asked, hoping she might get the hint and find someone else to talk to. It wasn't that he didn't like her, just that he wasn't in the mood to have to make conversation with anyone.

"Oh no, Doctor Cunningham!" she lamented, giggling raucously. "I don't have a 'plus one'. Yep, I'm single. As single as can be! My boyfriend dumped me, can you believe?!"

Out of the corner of his eye Harry caught Nikki watching him from the other side of the room. Or rather – watching Daisy. An idea struck him. He didn't know whether it was what Janet had been getting at, but he was going to do it anyway. He needed to make Nikki jealous. He turned back to Daisy, putting a hand on the top of her arm.

"Well then your boyfriend is an idiot," he said smoothly.

Her cheeks burned scarlet and she laughed tipsily, placing her hand on Harry's chest. He raised his eyebrows but she was looking at his jumper rather than him. After taking another mouthful of wine she said, "You're such a nice man, Doctor Cunningham." Her voice was slurred. Harry couldn't help but chuckle. He gently took her shoulders and pushed her back slightly. He could still see Nikki looking in their direction, but couldn't quite make out the expression on her face. He looked at Daisy again, and she looked up at him. Smiling at her, he tucked a piece of her dark hair behind her ear before leaning forward and whispering in her ear, "Daisy, go and sober up and talk to Nigel. He's had his eye on you all night and I know that you're only talking to me to make him jealous."

He pulled back and Daisy giggled again, embarrassed at being caught out. "I meant what I said, Doctor Cunningham. You really are a very nice man."

Harry laughed. Daisy smiled at him again before staggering away in the direction of where Nigel was stood, looking daggers at Harry. Shaking his head at the whole thing, Harry glanced over to where Nikki had been stood, but she was gone. Frowning, he spun around on the spot, but it was impossible to find anyone in the mass of dancing people. Then he spotted Leo.

He was pointing in the direction of the outside corridor, and threw the blinds Harry could just make out Nikki disappearing round the corner. He mouthed a 'thank you' to Leo who gave him a knowing wink in return, before hastily walking from the room for what felt like the millionth time that night.

When he eventually got outside, he spotted Nikki sitting a few metres away in exactly the same spot that he had earlier that night. She hadn't thought to get her coat, and Harry could see her shaking. Or she could be crying. He briefly wondered whether he went too far, using Daisy like that, but then the thought occurred to him that – wasn't it a good thing if Nikki was upset? He quietly approached her.

"I never wanted to come to this party," he said, stood a few feet behind her. "I only came because I knew you were going."

"What do you want, Harry?" she asked coldly, still with her back to him. Her voice was thick, and Harry heard her sniff.

He shrugged. "I just wanted to make sure that you're okay."

She scoffed at him, still refusing to look around. "Shouldn't you be getting back to Little Miss Boobs?"

"Who?" he asked her, genuinely confused.

"That pretty young thing you were talking to in there. She seems quite keen, you never know, you might get lucky," Nikki said.

"I'm not interested in her!" Harry told her, feeling a slight flicker of hope that Nikki really did appear to be jealous. "She's nothing compared-" He stopped quickly and collected himself before continuing. "I'm not interested in her," he repeated.

Sighing, Harry moved to sit next to Nikki on the wall, trying to pretend that he didn't notice when she flinched and shifted away from him.

"Just go back inside, Harry!" Nikki cried. "I can't... I can't do this!"

"Do what?" Harry asked softly.

"Any of it," she sobbed. "It's too hard to pretend anymore."

Confused, Harry tried not to get his hopes up as he said, "Hang on, too hard to pretend what?"

Nikki sighed and finally turned to look at him. Her eyes were sparkling. "Too hard to pretend that I'm doing the right thing by staying away from you."

There was a silence that seemed to go on forever, the loudest silence Harry had ever known as the truth hit them both at the same time. The truth that Harry had dreamt of hearing but didn't quite believe it now that he had.

"What does this mean?" he asked, his voice hoarse.

Nikki didn't say anything, but stood up and started pacing. Harry stood too, but she didn't seem able to look at him anymore.

"Nikki?" he probed, but she wouldn't stop walking. Her arms were folded but Harry could see the goosebumps on them and the shiver that travelled up her spine. He shrugged off his blazer and took a step closer to her, just as Nikki turned around. They were less than a foot apart.

"Here," Harry said quietly, draping the blazer over her shoulders. He held it closed at the front, his knuckles pressed against her stomach. She was trapped, couldn't go anywhere, had no choice _but _to look at him.

"What does this mean?" he asked, needing her to clarify his suspicions.

She shook her head and a tear slipped down her cheek. After taking a deep breath she locked her eyes with his and said, "What do you want it to mean?"

They both looked at each other for a solid minute, their gaze never breaking. Then Nikki suddenly leant in and kissed him softly. However, before Harry could even register what was happening she broke away.

"Are you drunk?" she asked abruptly.

Harry laughed. "No. Why, are you?"

Nikki shook her head. "No. But you know that means that none of this can be taken back. There can be no excuses for anything either of us might say, or do."

"I know," Harry said. He smiled at Nikki before pressing his lips to hers once again. The blazer dropped to the floor as her arms coiled around his neck and Harry placed his hands either side of her face. They were kissing. They were stood at the edge of the car park, their bodies pressed close together to try and ward off the cold, the stars twinkling in the sky above and the low beat of cheesy Christmas music in the background... and they were kissing. For the first time in over three weeks, Harry actually felt like his life was worth living again.

* * *

**I don't know what to say :D Well, actually I do. You seriously didn't think that I was going to make them split up forever, did you? Mind you, I wanted you to get the impression that that was the ending I was going to do, so you might have.  
****Oh, this isn't finished yet. There was more to this chapter, but it got too long so I had to put some in the next one. I might do a couple more. I'll try and upload the next chapter tonight, but only if you review, you lovely people!  
****Lovelove  
****Xxxx**


	28. Cosmic Love

**Chapter 28:** Cosmic Love

Harry deepened the kiss and Nikki buried her fingers in his hair, pulling him as close to her as she could. All coherent thought flew from his head as he felt this sudden rush of renewed affection for his ex-girlfriend. The kiss became yet more heated and the intertwined pair nearly stumbled over each other's feet. Wrapping his arms tightly around her waist, Harry pushed Nikki back against the main wall of the building. She moaned into his mouth and it wasn't long before he felt her hands slide under his jumper, causing his breath to hitch somewhat considerably. Nikki took advantage of this and planted a succession of small kisses along his jaw and towards his neck.

"Oh God, Nikki..." Harry groaned. He could feel her smiling against his skin.

"Take me somewhere," she breathed into his ear, nibbling his earlobe.

Harry kissed her roughly on the mouth again, before weaving his fingers through hers and dragging her across to his car. Opening the back door, he pulled a giggling Nikki down onto the seats and she slammed the door shut behind them. Both were breathing heavily as they paused to comprehend what they were actually doing. Then Nikki suddenly grinned at him before climbing onto his lap and resuming their fierce kiss. Harry leaned down in his seat, his fingers running through Nikki's hair as she fumbled with the hem on his jumper. However, placing his hands either side of her face, he reluctantly forced her away from him, much to her annoyance.

"What?" Nikki complained.

He brushed his thumb across her cheek, smiling and shaking his head slightly.

"_What_?" she repeated, laughing.

Should he say it? Should he tell her, or would it scare her off once more? Plus, if she told him what he didn't want to hear then it would crush him all over again. Oh, what the hell, thought Harry, you only live once.

"I can't do this if you're not going to be here afterwards," he muttered, then waited for Nikki's reaction. Her smile faded and her face became more serious. She placed one hand on his cheek, her fingertips lightly running across his skin.

"I'll be here," she told him. "I'll be here afterwards. And I'll be here tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day... Do you seriously think I'd make that same stupid mistake again? I'm never letting you go this time."

Harry cut her off by pressing his finger to her lips. "I love you," he whispered, already regretting the words leaving his mouth, dreading what her response would be.

To his great relief a large smile graced Nikki's lips, and she started absentmindedly playing with his hair. "I love you too, Harry Cunningham," she grinned, causing Harry to smile broadly. "And not in a 'best friend' kind of way, but a 'I-want-to-rip-your-clothes-off-and-have-sex-with-you-now-before-we-spend-the-rest-of-our-lives-together' kind of way."

Harry laughed loudly and captured her lips in his once again. His hands found the bottom of her dress and they snaked their way underneath it, causing Nikki to grip tightly to his shoulders in order to suppress a moan. Harry trailed kisses down her neck until he reached the sensitive spot where neck met shoulder. This time she did moan, sending a shiver of anticipation up Harry's spine –

And then his mobile phone started ringing. They both groaned simultaneously, breaking the kiss and resting their foreheads against each other, breathing heavily.

"If that's Leo, I'm actually going to kill him," Harry muttered, as Nikki reached into his jeans pocket and extracted his phone.

"It is," she confirmed with a giggle. "Tell him we're busy."

Grinning, she leant forward and kissed him again. Harry smiled against her lips before grabbing her waist and moving her so that she was still sat on his lap but was far enough away that she wouldn't distract him from his phone call.

Actually feeling rather annoyed at Leo, Harry answered his phone.

"Yes, Leo?"

_"Harry? Where are you? You haven't gone home, have you? I haven't seen you here for nearly half an hour!" _Leo exclaimed. Harry could only just discern his boss's voice through what sounded like Wham playing in the background.

"Err..." Harry hadn't really thought of an excuse. What could he say? Sorry Leo, but Nikki and I were going at it in the back of my car? No. "I'll be back in a minute, Leo, sorry."

_"Well where on earth are you? I know you followed Nikki out... But you can't have been talking all this time! You haven't had another argument, have you?" _Leo asked suspiciously.

"No, no. I couldn't even find Nikki. I was just getting some fresh air, that's all. Like I said, just give me a minute and I'll be back in," Harry replied, as innocently as possible.

_"Okay then, I'll see you in a minute,"_ Leo said, and Harry made an exaggerated 'phew' action for Nikki's benefit.

"Yes you will."

_"Oh, and Harry?"_

"Yes, Leo?"

_"If you do see Nikki on your way back in, can you make sure she's alright? I know you aren't exactly on the best of terms, but she appears to have gone missing too,"_ Leo said, and Harry had to stifle a grin.

"Will do, Leo."

They said their goodbyes and Harry hung up the phone. He looked at Nikki who giggled.

"Do you think he knows where we really are?" she asked him.

Harry shook his head. "He didn't seem to. He asked me to see if I could find you on my way back in."

"We have to go in now?" Nikki pouted, running a hand across his chest.

"Yes," Harry mumbled against her lips as he kissed her.

"But Harry..." she whined.

"Nikki..." Harry repeated in the same tone of voice, causing Nikki to grin reluctantly. "Look, we need to go back to the party. You know that."

"Are we going to tell Leo?" she asked him.

"Do you want to?"

"I do, of course I do, and before Christmas, but just..."

"Not tonight?" Harry finished.

"Yeah. I just want tonight to be about us, without all the questions and judgements from everyone else," she said quietly. Harry tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Me too," he told her. "Although you know that means that we can't be too obvious back in there. As far as everyone else is concerned, nothing's changed between us."

"I know, but we've got – what? An hour or two left of this party? Let's just try and enjoy it and then we can get out of here," Nikki said, before leaning forward and kissing him again. "We have a lot of making up to do," she murmured against his lips.

"Come on," Harry told her when they broke apart. "We have to go back in."

Nikki climbed off his lap and out of his car, straightening her dress as Harry followed her.

"Do I look okay? I don't have 'sex hair'?" she asked him, nervously running her fingers through her blonde curls. Harry locked his car and turned towards her.

"You look beautiful," he told her truthfully, causing Nikki to blush.

Together they walked back across the car park, Harry picking up his discarded blazer on the way, and then into the Lyell Centre. When they reached the offices again, Harry flung out a hand to stop Nikki.

"Wait. I'll go first," he told her. "You follow in a minute or so, make sure you think of a good excuse."

Nikki nodded so Harry went ahead, stepping back into the party. Mariah Carey was blaring from the stereo system, most of the decent food had been demolished, and everybody seemed to be twice as drunk as they were when Harry had last been here. He spotted Leo on the other side of the room and after grabbing himself another beer he approached his boss.

"Has anyone thrown up in your potted geranium yet?" he asked innocently.

Leo threw him a withering look. "No, they haven't. Did you see Nikki?"

"No," Harry lied. "But I'm sure she'll be around somewhere. Where's Janet?"

"She's gone home."

"Home?" Harry frowned. "It's not even ten, yet."

"I know, but she has to work tomorrow," Leo said mutinously. He obviously wasn't very happy about this.

"Ah, so that's why you were so keen to get me back in here," Harry laughed. "You didn't want to be seen all on your lonesome."

"No!" Leo protested, though the corners of his mouth were twitching. "Anyway, you seem to be in a better mood now."

"Yeah... The alcohol must finally be kicking in," Harry grinned.

"Oh, there she is!" Leo exclaimed suddenly, looking over Harry's shoulder. Nikki had just entered the room and was making a beeline for them. Harry felt himself flush slightly as she approached.

"Where have you been?" Leo asked immediately.

"Well, I went to the loo and bumped into... Daisy. I was having a chat with her," Nikki said, the lie seeming to roll easily off her tongue.

"Daisy?" Leo quizzed. "You don't normally talk to the lab techs."

"Yes, but she... err... she had something of mine earlier," she said, and Harry noticed that she refused to catch his eye. "I was just making sure she'd put it back."

Leo still looked a little confused, but he let it go. "Oh, okay then."

"What time is thing going to end, Leo?" Harry asked, changing the subject.

"Whenever everyone starts to drift off home. And I should imagine that would be when the alcohol runs out," Leo joked. "I'm going to go and ring Janet, make sure she got home alright."

He went off, leaving Harry and Nikki alone in the corner of the room.

"I want to ask you to dance," he muttered, sipping from his drink.

"I want you to too," she smiled. "But you can't. We'll tell Leo tomorrow, then we can dance all we want."

"I look forward to it."

"There's nothing to say that we can't stand here and talk though," Nikki reminded him. "As long as we don't look too happy."

Harry just snorted.

*

Just over an hour later and the party was finally coming to an end. People had started to leave, the car park had suddenly become full of taxis, and Harry found himself glad that he wasn't over the legal drink-driving limit.

Eventually, it was just him, Nikki and Leo left. The music had been switched off, although Harry was sure that he could still hear Slade ringing in his ears telling everyone that 'It's Chriiiiiistmaaaas!'.

"Do you want us to stay and help clear up, Leo?" Harry asked, desperately hoping that the answer was no.

"No, it's fine. You two go home," Leo said, to Harry's immense relief.

"Are you sure?" Nikki asked.

"Yes, I'll tidy up a bit here and then I'll be home too," he smiled. "Look you two, I just wanted to say thank you for making such an effort at getting along tonight. I know it couldn't have been easy for either of you, but you did it and the evening was much more enjoyable for it."

Neither Harry nor Nikki said anything, they didn't know what to say. So after flashing Leo a smile they left the room.

"He really didn't guess where we were earlier then," Nikki muttered as they walked through the corridors.

"Obviously not," Harry agreed. "Now let's get out of here."

As soon as they reached the car park again they were kissing, Harry having pressed Nikki up against the wall. She giggled against his lips and broke the kiss.

"Not here," she whispered, running a hand through his hair.

"Where then? Whose place is nearer?" Harry asked urgently.

"Well, mine and Leo's is, but-"

"Let's go there then," Harry said, grabbing Nikki's hand and pulling her away from the wall.

"But Harry!" she laughed.

"I'll drive your car," Harry told her quickly. "We'll leave mine here. We'll be back at yours way before Leo and unless he makes a habit of entering your room in the middle of the night he won't suspect a thing. Until morning, that is, and then we can tell him anyway."

"What about Janet?"

This momentarily threw a flaw into Harry's plans.

"Leo said she had to work tomorrow... Will she be asleep?"

By now they had reached Nikki's car. She threw Harry the keys and they both climbed in before Nikki replied.

"I expect so."

"Well then we'll just have to be quiet," Harry grinned, winking at Nikki. She laughed as she tugged her seatbelt across her.

"Drive then!" she said with a giggle. Harry wasted no time in doing as he was ordered.

*

Harry tapped his foot impatiently as Nikki fumbled for her door keys back at Leo's.

"Ah ha, got them," she declared and opened the door.

They stepped inside, and Harry had to admit it was very strange being in Leo's house, especially considering what they were about to do. Nikki took her shoes off and placed her keys on a sideboard and Harry was about to do the same until she stopped him.

"This is supposed to be _secret_ make up sex, remember?" she asked with a smile.

"Oh yeah," Harry said, shoving his foot back in his shoe. Nikki took a step closer to him.

"Harry?"

"Yes?"

"I love you," she whispered, her hands now on his shoulders. Harry leant down and kissed her, one hand on her back, the other running through her hair. After a minute they broke apart, but kept their bodies impossibly fused together. Nikki smiled at him before lacing her fingers through his and pulling him up the stairs.

"Leo's bedroom is right down the other end of the hall, isn't it?" Harry whispered as they reached Nikki's bedroom.

She grinned. "It worries me how you know that."

Harry rolled his eyes, pushing Nikki through her bedroom door before shutting it behind them with a snap, probably louder than he should have done. Then he turned around to face her again.

"Your bedroom here isn't as nice as your one at home," he said casually.

"I know," she agreed.

They looked at each other for a moment, before a large grin broke across Harry's face and he marched over to Nikki, placing his hands either side of her face and pressing his lips to hers. Her arms wound around his neck and he deepened the kiss, causing her to moan softly into his mouth.

It soon became more heated and Harry slammed them both into the door. Nikki smiled against his lips and wrapped her legs around his waist. "Someone's keen, aren't they?" she whispered, breathing heavily.

"Nikki, it's been twenty-three days since I've last been this close to you. Of course I'm bloody well 'keen'," Harry muttered, just as Nikki decided to pull his jumper over his head. He then trailed kisses across her jaw and down her neck, but Nikki suddenly stopped him.

"Wait," she breathed.

"What?"

"Let me take my dress off, I know what you're like and I don't want it to get ruined," she smiled, unwrapping her legs from him and standing on the floor once more. Harry grinned.

"Oh, I'm sure I can help with that."

* * *

**Heehee, it's sooo much easier writing the fluff! Which is basically all this chapter is! :) But I couldn't help it, I've felt deprived not being able to put some good old cheesiness in lately, which is why the other chapters took so long to write!  
****I hope you like this one. Thank you sooo much for all the lovely reviews for the last chapter. You all seemed to be very happy that there was no angsty goodbye – can't think why... ;)**

**Love you all!  
****xxx**


	29. My Life Would Suck Without You

**Chapter 29:** My Life Would Suck Without You

**December 23rd - 11:45pm. **

"That was..." Nikki said breathlessly.

Harry laughed. "I know."

They were both lying on their backs in Nikki's bed, out of breath and smiling broadly.

"I mean, it's always been good... but never that good!" she said.

"Yeah, well... I've missed you," Harry shrugged, staring up at the ceiling through the darkness.

Nikki snorted. "In which case, I'll have to go away more often."

Harry frowned and rolled onto his side so that he was looking at her, even if he could only see a sliver of her face in the light from the streetlamp outside the window.

"Please don't," he said quietly.

Nikki turned over as well, so they were now mirroring each other in the centre of the bed, their faces just inches apart.

"I won't," she assured him. "I promise you."

Harry laced his fingers with hers on top of the thick duvet. "Okay," he said with a small smile, something in him believing her without a shadow of a doubt.

"Harry, I am so sorry," she whispered, her voice thick with sincerity.

"Why did you do it?" he asked her, something he'd wanted to do properly for twenty-three days.

Nikki took a deep breath. "When my dad died, my world stopped turning. And that wasn't because of how much I loved him – goodness knows it wasn't that – it just seemed so unreal that it was my father on the slab, rather than another anonymous body. And then the guilt that came took my breath away. I'd let him down..."

She stopped, but Harry knew there was more she had to say. He waited, and after a couple of minutes she continued, slowly and uncertainly.

"When he called us on the night he died to ask for money, I was – having sex with you. So his calls went unanswered and... well, you know what happened. It was my fault I didn't answer the phone, I know that. But at the time I blamed you."

"Oh," Harry muttered, unable to think of anything else to say.

"You have to understand, Harry. I was so confused and messed up. As much as I hated him, my dad was the only family I had left. I'm haven't even reached forty yet and I've lost everyone. I must be jinxed or something. Everyone drifts away, it's like trying to keep water in cupped hands. My head was chaotic, I wasn't thinking rationally at all, but I convinced myself that I couldn't let myself love you because you'd get taken away from me too. Blaming you for missing my dad's phone calls was just my 'logical' excuse to end things."

Harry sighed, running his fingers up and down her bare upper arm. "Why didn't you tell me this sooner?"

"Because things got messy. I couldn't bear to look at you and see the pain and hurt in your eyes. The pain and hurt that I'd caused. Leo told me about the state you were in and..." She trailed off sadly.

"I wasn't that bad," Harry said meekly, trying to make her feel better.

"Harry, look at your hand," she demanded.

He lifted his fist and held it up in front of him. His knuckles had healed nicely since the incident, but even from the little light in the room he could see the shine of the scars and shadows of old bruises.

"Yeah, okay. So maybe I was a little messed up too," he conceded.

Nikki sighed. "And it was my fault," she mumbled, touching his injured hand lightly with her fingertips.

Harry bit his lip, unsure of whether to ask her what he really wanted to, what was plaguing his mind even now. Nikki obviously knew him too well, though, because she said, "What is it?"

"When we split up," he started slowly, "you told me that you didn't love me anymore-"

Nikki was shaking her head, so Harry stopped, frowning.

"I never said that," she explained. "_You_ said that. I just let you assume that it was true."

"Why?" Harry asked, dumbfounded.

"Because if I had told you that even though I wanted to end things, I still loved you, then you wouldn't have let me go. And I needed to go. Or at least, I thought I did at the time."

"But-" Harry tried again, only for words to fail him once more.

Nikki placed her hand on his cheek, her fingers gently fiddling with his hair. "Harry, I never stopped loving you. I haven't stopped loving you for the whole six years that I've known you! There have been times when I've wanted nothing more than to slice off your head and serve it to Leo on a silver platter, but even when you are a complete pain in the arse you're still the love of my life."

Harry didn't know what to say, so he closed the gap between them and pushed his lips to Nikki's, his hand resting on her waist. When they broke apart they just looked at each other for a moment. Neither of them said anything, they didn't have to.

**December 24th - 7:45am.**

Harry groaned as he was pulled back into semi-consciousness the next morning, his back stiff from sleeping in an unfamiliar bed. He was faintly aware of being wrapped up with someone else; there was a very real, very familiar body in his arms. It took a moment for the events of the previous evening to come back to Harry, and when they did he smiled broadly and opened his eyes.

Sure enough, he was in Nikki's bedroom in Leo's house. The steely grey light of a winter morning was seeping through the thin curtains; a shadowy blanket draping everything in the room.

Nikki was still asleep, he could hear her soft, rhythmic breathing. Then, suddenly, there was a bang from downstairs and the sound of voices. Realisation hit Harry and the contented bubble that he'd been in just a minute previously was well and truly popped. Sighing, he carefully propped himself up on one elbow and gazed down at Nikki, gently running his fingers up and down her bare arm and pressing kisses into her hair until she started to stir.

"Mmm…" she mumbled, still with her eyes shut. "Being woken up like that is so much better than my alarm."

Harry chuckled, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her into him. "Happy Christmas Eve," he muttered. A smile formed on Nikki's face and she rolled over in his arms to face him, finally opening her eyes.

"Today's going to be perfect," she said, "and tomorrow's going to be even better."

"Tomorrow, yes," Harry agreed, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. "But today…"

Nikki frowned, then a look of dawning comprehension spread across her face. "We have to tell Leo about us," she realised.

Harry nodded. "Unfortunately."

"We just have to bite the bullet and do it," Nikki conceded. "Rip off the plaster."

"What to do we say? How do we justify it?" Harry asked uncertainly.

"We tell him that we love each other. There's nothing more we can say."

Harry nodded, and after giving Nikki another quick kiss they both climbed out of bed. Harry re-dressed himself in the clothes he wore to the party, whilst Nikki rifled around in her wardrobe. Nerves were creeping through his veins. What if Leo didn't agree with their reconciliation? They couldn't fall out with him, not the day before Christmas. Harry just hoped that maybe Janet would still be there to talk some sense into Leo if she had to.

He perched on the end of Nikki's bed as he waited for her to get ready, too preoccupied to notice her quietly talking to him. Eventually he looked up and realised that Nikki was standing in front of him, her hand extended. Harry was irresistibly reminded of Leo doing the same thing to him while he was sat on the bathroom floor, injured and defeated.

Taking a deep breath, Harry laced his fingers through Nikki's and the pair of them quietly left the bedroom.

**December 24th - 8.10am**

As they descended the stairs, the sound of Janet and Leo quietly conversing in the kitchen became louder, until eventually Harry and Nikki were stood outside the kitchen door and could hear the chink of cutlery on china.

"How do we do this?" Nikki whispered.

"I don't know," Harry confessed. "You go first."

Nikki took a deep breath and stepped through the kitchen door, whilst Harry listened intently.

"Ah, Nikki! Good morning, do you want some breakfast?" Leo said. There was no response from Nikki, and Harry knew that she'd frozen and didn't know what to say. So he took this as his cue.

"Good morning!" he said cheerily, stepping into the kitchen. "Did someone say breakfast? What are we having?"

Harry didn't know what was funnier. Janet dropping her spoon with a clang into her bowl, or Leo stopping still with a spoonful of soggy cornflakes halfway to his mouth. Both were rather comical. Harry just stood next to Nikki, one hand on the small of her back, and waited for someone to say something.

Eventually, Leo put his spoon down, cleared his throat and said, "I - I don't… understand."

"We're umm… we're back together," Nikki said in a tiny voice.

"But this time yesterday you were barely speaking," Leo frowned.

Janet placed her hand on Leo's arm from across the table. "They've obviously sorted things out, Leo."

"We have. We talked things through and-" Harry tried, but Leo held out his hand to stop him.

"Three weeks ago your relationship fell apart. You both fell to pieces. You stopped talking, stopped living together, stopped being friends as well as lovers. I have never seen either of you in such a state. How can that suddenly be forgotten and everything go back to normal?"

"Like Harry said, we talked, Leo. Talked properly and got to the bottom of things. I know that it was all my fault that we broke up-"

"Nikki…" Harry started, but she placed a hand on his chest to shush him.

"It was my fault, and I accept that. But it was a mistake, Leo. You told me I was making the wrong decision, but you know how messed up I was about my dad and everything, I wasn't thinking straight."

"Even so," Leo protested, looking directly at Nikki. "If you broke up once before what's to stop it happening again?"

"Because we love each other, Leo!" Nikki argued. "I love Harry more than I've ever loved anyone in my life, and that scares the hell out of me! So I'm going to need your support, not your disapproval!"

Nikki's words seemed to ring in the air in the frosty silence that followed. Harry shifted on the spot awkwardly, not sure if he should say something. This conflict was clearly between Leo and Nikki, her being the one who broke up with Harry and Leo being the one to clear up the mess. It was obvious that as far as Leo was concerned, Harry was the innocent party.

"Leo," Janet said complacently. "You know that Harry and Nikki are meant for each other. Everyone can see that. They love each other. They're adults, they know what they're doing. It's obvious that they're not going to make the same mistake again."

"I'm never letting her go this time, Leo," Harry said firmly, taking Nikki's hand just to prove his point. She squeezed his gratefully.

Leo observed the two of them through narrowed eyes, but eventually he sighed and stood up. "I'm sorry. It was just a bit of a shock for Harry to walk in here this morning," he said. Harry released a long, relieved breath and Nikki walked forward to hug Leo before she joined Harry's side again and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"I have to admit, you were very sneaky. I had no idea that you were here, Harry," Leo said, then suddenly pulled a disgusted face. "Oh God, I've just realised what you were here _doing_. Eugh, that's really put me off my breakfast." He pushed his bowl away from him.

Harry laughed. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"Well I take it that this spontaneous reunion means that you're moving in together again then?" Janet asked.

Harry looked at Nikki, he hadn't thought about that. She raised her eyebrows at him, as if to ask whether Janet was right, and when Harry threw her a sideways glance that clearly said 'I'm up for it if you are' she grinned and nodded.

"I cannot believe that the pair of you just had that entire conversation without actually speaking," Janet pointed out.

Harry laughed and Nikki giggled whilst Leo said, "I know. Annoying, isn't it?"

**December 24th - 10.20pm**

"Have you left out a mince pie and glass of sherry for Santa?" Harry asked mockingly as he pulled a t-shirt on.

Nikki threw a pillow at him from where she was lying in bed, a pillow which Harry caught easily and flung straight back at her.

"Shut up," she scolded. "I love Christmas."

"That much is obvious," Harry commented dryly, referring to the afternoon that they had spent putting up and decorating a huge fir tree.

Nikki just glared at him from over the top of her book as Harry climbed into bed next to her, grinning. He reached out his arms for her embrace. Nikki snapped her book shut and sighed. "If I must," she said, snuggling down the bed and into Harry's arms.

"I'm glad you moved back in," he told her quietly, pressing a kiss to her shoulder.

"Me too," she smiled.

"And I'm sorry I mocked your festive enthusiasm," he grinned, causing Nikki to tut and playfully slap his arm.

They lapsed into a comfortable silence for a while, before Nikki suddenly said, "Harry, I'm sorry about everything-"

Harry cut her off by pressing his finger to her lips. "Will you _stop_ apologising! This has just made us stronger, Nikki, because we both know what we've got to lose. Now let's just forget about it and move on."

Nikki nodded. "That sounds like a good idea."

"I'm full of them," he joked.

"Full of _it_, more like," she laughed.

Harry playfully flicked her on the nose, causing Nikki to screw up her face in protest, but she giggled and placed her hand on the side of Harry's cheek before kissing him fiercely.

"I love you," she mumbled against his lips.

"I love you too," Harry breathed.

* * *

**Just a bit of a cheesy chapter for you all. Plus the morning after! :D Sorry it's taken me so long to upload, college has been hectic! It's only Monday and I already have a headache!  
****The next chapter's going to be the last chapter. Which I won't actually believe until it happens. But it might be extra long to compensate. Christmas Day and all that ;)  
****xxx**


	30. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

**Chapter 30:** Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

**December 25th - 7.20am**

Harry awoke suddenly as a pillow was thrown at his head.

"Come on, Harry! Wake up, it's Christmas!"

It took a moment for his brain to stir into life, and when it did he realised that Nikki was the one shouting at him. He groaned and buried his face under his pillow.

"Go away," he moaned. Nikki, however, was persistent.

"No! You know I love Christmas, and this year I get to spend it with you too, so come on! Get up!"

"You always spend Christmas with me," Harry pointed out mutinously.

"But this is our first Christmas as a couple. A proper couple. I want today to last forever, so the earlier it starts the longer it will go on for. Now get up!"

Harry extracted his head from the sandwich of pillows and looked at Nikki. She was sat up, smiling at him. He sighed in defeat. "Fine. I'll be up in a minute."

Nikki grinned and leant down to kiss him, running her hand through his hair so that it was even messier than usual. She went to pull away but Harry deepened the kiss and placed his hand on the small of her back so that she was trapped. Giggling against his lips, Nikki gripped his shoulders tightly as Harry pushed them both down onto the mattress so that he was leaning over her. It was then that she broke the kiss.

"Oh no you don't, Cunningham," she grinned. "We are due at Leo's at eleven this morning."

"And it's going to take, what, three and a half hours for you to get ready?" he asked sceptically, pressing small kisses down her neck and along her collarbone.

"Well, we have to have breakfast, and it's Christmas day so I'll have to do something special; then I have to get all dressed up for Leo's, which will involve finding a decent outfit, doing my hair, doing my make up-"

"Nikki," Harry interrupted, his face just centimetres from hers, his breath tickling the stray hairs that framed her face. "Shut up and kiss me."

A smile spread across her lips and she laughed before looping her arms around his neck and pulling his head down.

"I'm sure I can manage that," she giggled, pressing her lips to his.

**8.10am**

"So I've made breakfast," Nikki told Harry with her back to him as he entered the kitchen, fully dressed and freshly showered. He walked over to where she was stood and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"So I see," he smiled, observing the pancakes that she was sliding onto plates.

"Don't you like pancakes?" she asked.

"No, I do. I just didn't realise that they were a special Christmas breakfast food."

Nikki shrugged in his arms. "My mum used to make them for me every Christmas morning. I used to plaster them in so much maple syrup that you couldn't even taste the actual pancake. Mum used to have to tie my hair up or else I'd get it all sticky."

Harry smiled, picturing a younger Nikki. "Sounds like Christmas used to be good in the Alexander household."

"Well, it was until my Dad started keeping to his tradition of getting paralytic before it even reached lunch time," she said, overly-casually. Slipping out of Harry's grasp, she took the plates over to the breakfast bar and sat down, still with her back to him. Harry sighed and slowly moved to sit opposite her, placing his hand over hers.

"Cheer up, it's Christmas," he told her meekly.

Nikki chuckled slightly, giving Harry a small, grateful smile.

"I love you," he told her.

"I know," she replied, rubbing his hand with her thumb. Just then Charlie came bounding into the kitchen and started pawing at his empty food bowl before looking up at Harry imploringly. Harry tutted playfully.

"I'll feed him," Nikki said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I have a lot of making up to do," she smiled, before clambouring to her feet and walking over to Charlie.

**9.25am**

"Harry?"

Harry looked up from where he was sat on the sofa, and in the direction of Nikki's call. Sighing, he placed down his magazine and made his way to their bedroom.

"You bellowed, Dr Alexander?" he grinned, leaning on the doorframe.

Nikki was rifling through her bedside table, a fluffy towel keeping her hair curled up on the top of her head and her pale pink dressing gown wrapped around her body.

"Yes," she said distractedly, turning to look at him. "Where's my elephant gone?"

Harry frowned, utterly perplexed. "Excuse me?"

"My elephant," she said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I used to have that small wooden elephant figurine on my bedside table. You know, the one I bought in Cape Town that time? I didn't take it to Leo's with me, so where is it? In fact, where is _everything_ that I left in here when I went to Leo's?"

"Ah," Harry said, comprehension dawning. He turned and exited the bedroom, Nikki close on his heels.

"Where are you going?" she asked him curiously.

"Well, everything that you left behind kept reminding me of you and I needed to move on," he explained, stopping in front of a door. "So I put it in here."

"The airing cupboard?" Nikki said. "You put my things in the _airing cupboard_?"

"I needed somewhere where I don't often look."

Nikki snorted. "That sounds about right."

Harry opened the door and stood on tip-toes to reach the back of the top shelf. He found the plastic container and carefully pulled it down, remembering the state he'd been in when he put it up there. He passed the box to Nikki.

"I didn't leave that much behind," she stated as she looked down into the contents.

"It was enough," Harry said quietly, walking back into the bedroom.

Nikki followed him, dumping the box on the bed before standing right in front of Harry so that he couldn't get away. Suddenly he wasn't feeling so Christmassy.

"I should never have left," she told him.

Harry frowned. "We've had this conversation. Several times, in fact."

"No." Nikki shook her head. "What I meant was, I should never have packed my bags and gone. It was childish. I should have stayed, talked things through with you, not run away."

Harry sighed softly. He placed a hand on Nikki's cheek, running his thumb across it gently. "I was the one who ran away. I stormed out, I… walked through the streets in the rain to Leo's house, then I had the worst day at work ever… by the time I'd got back here you'd gone. I was the one who ran away," he repeated.

"I think we're as bad as each other," Nikki said quietly with a small smile.

Harry grinned. "I think you may be right."

"Naturally."

"Ah, and you're modest with it," he joked.

Nikki glared at him playfully before quickly kissing him.

"Now, are you going to let me get ready?" she asked when they broke apart. "I have exactly an hour before we have to leave to make myself look beautiful."

Harry raised an eyebrow at her. "Are you sure you can manage that? It is only an hour after all."

Nikki slapped him on the chest. "I hope you're planning on making yourself look more respectable too," she said, appraising his jumper and old jeans.

"It's Leo's house, Nikki, not Buckingham Palace."

"You could at least put on a decent shirt, rather than that scruffy old jumper," she scolded, causing Harry to roll his eyes.

"Yes, _Mum_," he said sarcastically.

Nikki tutted, placing her hands on either side of his chest to push him out of the room. "Go away, I need to get changed."

"Oh, I was hoping I'd get to watch," he said, his eyes twinkling.

"Well you thought wrong then, didn't you?" Nikki said, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Like I said, I only have an hour so I can't be doing with any distractions."

"Would I?" Harry asked with an exaggerated hurt expression.

"Yes," Nikki replied bluntly, but grinned at him. She reached up to press a kiss to his cheek before shooing him from the room and shutting the door.

**10.20am**

Harry rapped on his bedroom door with his knuckles. "Nikki, if you want me to change before we leave then I'm going to do it pretty soon. We've only got twenty minutes."

"Go away, I'll be ready soon!" she called back, her voice muffled from the firmly closed door. Harry sighed and leant against the dark wood.

"Why can't I come in?" he asked, a grin gracing his lips. "It's nothing that I haven't seen before."

"You know, I can practically see the dirty smirk on your face through that door, Harry Cunningham!" she yelled. Harry snorted.

He heard the sound of a zip being done up, then heels on a hard surface and a moment later the door slowly opened.

Harry's jaw literally dropped open. The deep purple taffeta dress that Nikki had finally decided to wear was perfect for her. His gaze travelled from the hem, which fell just above her knee, up to the strapless top. He blew out a low breath.

"It's too much, isn't it?" Nikki asked uncertainly, smoothing the fabric down. Harry could see her already planning what to change into.

"No," he told her. "It's not too much. You look amazing."

"You sound surprised," Nikki said dryly, but she flushed at the compliment.

"No - I mean… You always look incredible, but…" he tailed off, unable to think of how to put how beautiful she looked into words, so instead he said, "Why have I never seen this dress before?"

Nikki giggled, taking a step closer to him and placing a hand gently on his chest. "Well, you tend to prefer me with my clothes off, don't you?" she whispered coyly, her lips just millimetres from his own.

Harry swallowed hard. He knew she was teasing him, winding him up.

"I need to get change my top," he told her, grinning at the flash of annoyance that crossed her face.

"Fine then, get changed," she said, sitting on the end of the bed and leaning back on her hands. Harry folded his arms and frowned at her.

"So I'm not allowed to watch you change, but you're allowed to watch me?"

Nikki grinned but didn't say anything and Harry knew it was pointless to argue. Turning his back to her, he started rifling through the wardrobe for a shirt. He found one that he deemed suitably respectable and pulled it out before tugging off his jumper. He held the shirt in front of him.

"Is this one okay?" he asked Nikki. She nodded slowly with a small smile on her face. It was thoroughly disconcerting.

"Come on then," she said when he was changed. "We'd better go."

Harry's brow was still furrowed as he followed her out of the bedroom. "Nikki, you're acting very peculiar."

Nikki stopped and sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just hard to believe that we're back together now, that you've _taken_ me back."

"I love you," Harry told her, matter-of-factly. "That's all that matters. I wish you'd stop dwelling on the past."

Nikki smiled at him. "I love you too."

"Good," Harry said with a sideways grin. He stepped past Nikki and pushed his feet into his shoes that were by the door before gathering up his keys and wallet.

"Right, if you're ready then let's go," he said brightly.

"Oh, Harry. One more thing," Nikki said suddenly. Harry stopped and turned around, glancing at her quizzically. She walked forward and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, resting her cheek on his shoulder. Harry smiled and pressed a kiss into her immaculately curled hair, winding his arms around her waist.

"What's this for?" he asked quietly.

"I'd forgotten how good it feels," she told him. "I've missed it."

They stayed stood like that for a good few minutes, the only movement being Harry slowly rubbing Nikki's back in a soothing manner. Eventually she took a deep breath and pulled back.

"Now we really do have to go," she said, leading the way out of the apartment.

**1.10pm**

Harry held up his glass of wine as Leo cleared his throat in preparation of making a toast. They, plus Nikki and Janet, had just taken a seat at the beautifully prepared circular table in Leo's dining room which was laden down with the delicious-looking components of a Christmas dinner. Having already pulled their crackers, each of them now had a brightly coloured paper hat on their head and Harry was marvelling at the miniature screwdriver kit that he'd received. He placed it down on the table though, as he had a glare from Nikki and pointed look from Leo.

"Right," the older man said, his own glass suspended in the air. "Here's to a wonderful Christmas, full of joy and happiness, and being together."

"Being together," they all echoed, chinking their glasses against each other's.

"And hopefully," Nikki said, smiling. "Next year there'll be another addition to the table."

Harry choked on the mouthful of wine he was consuming and looked at Nikki through streaming eyes as Janet thumped him on the back. "What?" he spluttered out.

"Leo and Janet, Harry," she said sternly, and Harry blew out a sigh of relief.

"Yeah, I knew that," he lied sheepishly, as Nikki turned around in her seat slightly to glare at him. Leo and Janet threw each other an awkward glance.

"Even if I was pregnant, would that be such a bad thing?" she asked dangerously.

"No, of course not," Harry reassured her quickly. "But, you know, I'd like to be married before we try for children."

To his surprise, a small smile graced Nikki's lips, and he could have sworn that she blushed before looking down at her plate.

"Okay. Let's eat," Janet said, also smiling.

**2.30pm**

"Why is it that old people insist on going for a walk after a meal?" Harry hissed to Nikki as they entered the park, walking a short distance behind Leo and Janet.

Nikki giggled. "It's tradition to do this sort of thing at Christmas."

Harry pulled a face as his foot slipped slightly in the wet, muddy grass. "I'm wearing my best shoes," he complained.

"Well that was stupid then, wasn't it?" Nikki muttered. "We do this every year, you'd think you would have the hang of it by now."

Harry glared at her playfully, but Nikki just giggled and slipped her hand into his. "I love you," she told him quietly, brushing the back of his hand with her thumb.

"I love you too," Harry replied, gently tilting her chin to press a kiss to her lips.

"Can't you two keep your hands off each other just for a minute?" Leo shouted back at them good-naturedly.

Harry broke away from Nikki and grinned. "No, not really," he laughed, grabbing Nikki's waist as she turned away from him and pulling her into his stomach, before burying his head in the crook of her neck.

Nikki squealed loudly and laughed as Harry wrapped his arms so tightly around her that she couldn't move away from him. Leo was smiling as he watched them, and Janet too was laughing.

"You're going to squash me to death, you fool!" Nikki giggled, but permitted Harry to kiss her again.

"Hmm. Death by cuddling, that's a new one for the PM report," he joked.

"Just how much of that wine have you had?" Nikki asked him, eyebrows raised.

Harry rolled his eyes at her. She grinned and he released her from his vice-like grip, but she stayed attached to his side, wrapping an arm around his waist. Harry draped his across her shoulders and, after he pressed a kiss into her hair, the pair hastily walked to catch up with Janet and Leo.

**8.40pm**

"I've had such a good day," Nikki smiled when they returned to their apartment that evening.

"So have I," Harry agreed, kicking off his shoes before flopping onto the sofa with a groan. Nikki copied him, laying her head on his chest as he gently stroked her hair.

"Thank you so much for my bracelet, Harry," she said quietly, extending her wrist to look at the silver piece of jewellery that she had insisted on wearing as soon as she'd opened it. "It's the exact one that I was looking at all those weeks ago. Just after we'd first got together."

"I know it is. I bought it the day after you pointed it out," he informed her.

"You did?" Nikki asked, surprised. "Why didn't you take it back when we split up?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know."

"I do," she realised. "For the same reason I still booked and bought your flying lesson early last week."

"And why's that then?"

"There was a part of me that never gave up of hope of us getting back together one day. We're meant to be together, aren't we?"

"Yes, I think we are," Harry smiled. "Thank you for that flying lesson, by the way. It's everything I ever wanted."

"You're very welcome," Nikki replied softly, lacing her fingers with Harry's on his stomach. The pair of them sat in a comfortable silence for a while, Harry's eyes trained on the multitude of sparkling lights on the Christmas tree in the corner of the room.

"Harry? Can I ask you a question?" Nikki asked suddenly.

"You just did, but I shall permit you to ask another," he grinned, ignoring Nikki's tut.

"Earlier, at Leo's, you said… I mean, what you said was…" She trailed off, biting her lip nervously. Harry knew where this was going.

"I said I wanted to be married before we had children," he interjected. Nikki nodded slowly into his chest. "Which bit is scaring you, the eternal bond of holy matrimony or having kids running around the place?"

"Neither," Nikki said quickly, raising her head to look at him. "I just wanted to make sure you meant it."

Harry felt himself swell with happiness. For a moment then he'd been convinced that she was having second thoughts again. Getting to his feet, he first pushed the coffee table up against the wall and then walked over to the stereo.

"What are you doing?" Nikki asked, utterly bemused.

"You said at the Christmas party the other night that you wanted me to ask you to dance, but I couldn't, so now, Nikki Alexander," he pressed play on the CD player and walked back over to Nikki with a proffered hand, "will you dance with me?"

"Here? In the middle of the lounge?" Nikki asked, but there was a smile tugging at her lips.

"Why not?" Harry grinned. Nikki looked at him for a moment before laughing slightly and reaching up to take his hand. Harry pulled her into his arms, placing one hand on her waist and the other intertwined with hers.

"Hang on, what song is this?" Nikki asked suddenly, stopping still to listen to it properly. Then she laughed. "'Knockin' On Heaven's Door'? You really couldn't have found something more appropriate or at least romantic? We work with death every day!"

Harry tried to look hurt. "Hey, I just put on the CD that was in there already. Now are you going to dance with me or do I have to ask Charlie?"

At the sound of his name, Charlie's ears pricked up from where he was lying on the sofa. Nikki laughed. "No, I'll dance with you," she smiled. Together, they slowly revolved on the spot.

"I meant it," Harry told her quietly. "I want to marry you, have children with you, grow old with you-"

"Old_er_," Nikki corrected, a glint to her eye.

"Look, I'm trying to be sentimental here, do you really want to ruin it?" he asked sternly.

Nikki giggled. "I'm sorry, please continue."

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me," he said sincerely. "And I do want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Is this the part the part in the cheesy films where you ask me to marry you?" she joked, but there was also something deadly serious in her voice.

"No," Harry said definitely. "This is the part where we just live each day as it comes, and tackle whatever it may bring us, good or bad. One day, I will ask you to marry me, and one day you will tell me that you're pregnant, and they will be the best days of my life, but let's not sit around waiting for them to happen. They'll come to us when the time is right."

Nikki's eyes were shining, and a single tear slipped down her cheek. She looked at him and smiled, evidently at a loss for words.

"Oh, did I also mention that this is the part where you kiss me now?" he said, grinning.

Nikki let out a watery chuckle and grabbed his face with both hands before capturing his lips in hers. Harry kissed her back fervently, his own hands going to her hips automatically. The pair of them toppled backwards onto the sofa, so that Harry was towering over Nikki.

"God I love you," he declared breathlessly.

Nikki smiled at him, her hand running through his hair. "I love you too."

Harry didn't waste another second before he closed the gap between them once again and kissing her slowly, lazily, savouring the moment. The smell of her hair, the feeling of her fingers roaming his body, the touch of her lips against his. Everything that he was going to have for a lifetime to come.

* * *

**Omg, I can't believe this is over! I am actually sat here fighting back the tears, just because this has been such a major part of my life for the last _five months_, can you believe? **

**I hope this ending is good enough for you all. You must've known all along that it would be a happy one? In truth, I think I did too. I didn't want to do the whole clichéd thing where Harry proposed and/or Nikki announced she was pregnant, though. Would have been too much cheese for my delicate constitution ;) **

**Right, now here comes the important part:  
****A huuuuuuuge thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed this story. I've never had so many reviews for one fic before, or so many reactions to the storyline! **

**A special big hug goes to: Saffiya Scarlett, Immortal Spud Thief, Hectate28, langfieldl, Flowerfairy123, Pearl sun, Slayergirl, xLaramiex, Caramelchan, AHadley, dinabar, Greyslostwho, Lottielilflower, Elynara, I Keep My Goldfish In My Bra and anyone else who has reviewed and I haven't listed here! I LOVE YOU ALL! Haha :) **

**There will be more from me soon, so just keep your eyes peeled. (You know, I've never really understood that phrase…)**

**Anyways, just... a huge heart-felt thank you. **

**One last review? ;)**

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**


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